Rosie O'Donnell & Those Wacky Iranians

Everyone has been asking “what has been up with those wacky, fun-loving Iranians lately?” Well, it turns out that they have seized 15 British Navel personnel and accused them of illegally trespassing into Iranian waters. According to a New York Times article, The Iranian Foreign Ministry spokesman, Mohammad Ali Hosseini, said the Britons had violated "the sovereign boundaries of other states," the state-run IRNA news agency said, and that Iran was carrying out "further investigation of the blatant aggression." The Times goes on to report that Iranian news agencies said the 15 Britons had been transferred to Tehran. " The said personnel are being interrogated and have confessed to aggression into the Islamic Republic of Iran waters," Gen. Ali Reza Afshar was quoted as saying by the ISNA news agency.

Now, Great Britain does not see the humor in this. Once again, the New York Times reports Prime Minister Tony Blair told Parliament that the British sailors were acting legally and in Iraqi waters, and that Britain was running out of patience with Iran for holding the 15 hostages.
"It is now time to ratchet up international and diplomatic pressure in order to make sure that the Iranian government understands their total isolation on this issue," he told Parliament. Blair and Great Britain have gone so far as to cut diplomatic ties with Iran.

The Royal Navy also took the unusual step of making public charts, photographs and previously secret navigational coordinates to substantiate its claim the British sailors were 1.7 nautical miles - roughly 2 miles - inside Iraqi waters when they were apprehended at gunpoint and forced into Iranian waters.

Apparently, however, the 15 British hostages (14 men and 1 woman) have been treated quite well during their stay in beautiful downtown Tehran. In fact, the female hostage, Faye Turney, has been provided with the traditional Muslim headgear to wear during her stay. She has been treated so well, in fact, that (amazingly) she has fully admitted to illegally crossing over into Iranian waters. She wrote a letter, addressed to the British people, saying that she had been treated well, unlike the prisoners held by the at Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq. "I'm writing to you as a British serviceperson who has been sent to Iraq, sacrificed due to the intervening policies of the Bush and Blair government,'' the letter said. In addition, according to reports, hostage Nathan Summers had this to say on Iranian television: “…I deeply apologize for entering your waters,'' Summers said in the broadcast on Al-Alam television. ”We trespassed without permission.'' Yes, I’m sure the interrogation went something like this:

Iranian authority: “Did you Crusaders illegally enter the Islamic Republic of Iran waters in order to cause harm and provoke a war against our great nation?”

British Seaman: “Hell, yeah. We did that.”

In addition, Iran must be a pretty cool place with really nice people. In fact, Turney had this to say about her captors: "Obviously, we trespassed into their waters" and praising her captors as "very friendly, very hospitable and very thoughtful, nice people. There was no hurt or harm," Turney, whose rank is leading seaman, said in the report. "They were very, very commpassionate." Wow, sounds like they’d all like to stay!

Bullshit.

It sounds to me like Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and his wing-nut regime in Iran is taking some serious risks in seizing these 15 British sailors. According to published reports, Iranian citizens are getting increasingly annoyed with the sanctions placed on their country because of the actions of their “leaders.” Taking 15 hostages is not going to endear Iran to the world community (except maybe France). Interestingly enough, it has been suggested in an article written by Gwynne Dyer that Iran purposely seized British soldiers rather than Americans because they knew the response would be different from the Americans. Dyer writes:

The 15 British sailors and marines who were captured and taken to Tehran for "questioning" last week are undoubtedly having an unpleasant time, but they are alive, and Britain is only involved in two wars, in Iraq and Afghanistan. If it had been one of Horner's boarding teams, they would all be dead, and the United States and Iran would now be at war.

So there they are, eight sailors and seven marines in two rubber boats, with personal weapons and no protection whatever, sitting about 30cm above the water, surrounded by six or seven Iranian attack boats with mounted machine guns.

"Defend yourself" by opening fire, and after a single long burst from half a dozen heavy machine-guns there will be 14 dead young men and one dead young woman in two rapidly sinking inflatables, and your country will be at war. Seems a bit pointless, really..

It's a cultural thing, at bottom. Britain has a long history of fighting wars and taking casualties, but the combat doctrines are less hairy-chested. British rules of engagement "are very much de-escalatory, because we don't want wars starting," explained Admiral Sir Alan West, former First Sea Lord.

"Rather than roaring into action and sinking everything in sight, we try to step back, and that, of course, is why our chaps were ... able to be captured and taken away." Kidnapping American troops as hostages for an exchange could cause a war, so they decided to grab some Brits instead. And it will probably work, after a certain delay.

I’d like to know what you – the readers – think about this viewpoint. I agree that the American response to being boarded and seized would have been more violent. However, does this “threat of a violent reaction” help avoid the incident in the first place? You don’t see 15 Americans being held hostage in Tehran. Now, of course, you did see American hostages held in Tehran 28 years ago under President Carter. Were circumstances different back then? Did Iran think that Carter would not have the cahones to respond militarily? I don’t know – what do you think?

Most importantly, what do the Brain Wizards in Hollywood think about this?? After all, if anyone understands the pulse of America, it is Hollywood. Here is what Rosie O’Donnell had to say about the situation in a recent interview:

O’DONNELL: Yes, but it’s very interesting too that, you know, these guys, they went into the water by mistake right at a time when British and American, you know, they're two, they’re pretty much our biggest ally and we're considering whether or not we should go into war with Iran.

BEHAR: But the U.N. was about to sanction them, also have an embargo against Iran. And the, and the timing [unintelligible] so they distracted the whole world with this.

ELISABETH HASSELBECK: Right and they may be about to expel the inspectors right now, too, which could be considered [unintelligible]

O’DONNELL: Right or it could be just the Gulf of Tonkin, which you should all Google.

So there you have it. It’s OUR own fault, Great Britain and The United States, that those 15 individuals were taken hostage. Those two rubber rafts were going to attack the coast of Iran! You know, Rosie O’Donnell has every right to her opinions, and to voice those opinions. In all honesty, it is heartwarming to me that we live in a country in which talentless individuals such as O’Donnell are provided forums for their ridiculous views (kind of like this blog, you might say!). In fact, many individuals are not only provided a forum for their views, but they are paid handsomely to express them. After all, if O’Donnell lived in Iran and spoke out against “the regime,” she would be punished. This would be a moot point, however, because she would have been punished much earlier in her life for being so unfunny. I’m sure Rosie would love having to wear the black scarf on her head that all women are required to wear in Iran, too.

I hope this drama ends on a positive note, and all of the hostages are returned safely to England. I’d hate for something bad to happen to them, because that would be our fault, too. Right Rosie?