I associate quite a bit of the music that I listen to with the seasons. I tend to listen to lighter music in the spring and summer, and heavier, more brooding music in the fall and winter. One of my favorite bands, Wilco, has definitely been a "winter" band with their last couple of albums, Yankee Hotel Foxtrot and A Ghost is Born. Not that there is anything wrong with that. These were heavier albums with hard to decipher lyrics. While they were excellent, the songs were often difficult to listen to. Let's just say you wouldn't play them at a keg party. After a nearly three-year hiatus, Wilco is ready to release their next album, Sky Blue Sky. It's not officially due for release until May, but my neighbor Dan knows a guy who knows a guy who was able to obtain a copy, which Dan burned for me. I've been able to listen to it a few times, which has allowed me to form the following opinion:
Sky Blue Sky is Wilco's best album. It's outstanding.
After their beginning as an "Alternative Country" band, Wilco has been following a "Beatlesque" path beginning with their album Summerteeth. I heard quite a bit of Help, Revolver and Rubber Soul in their last few albums, but Wilco has now written their Abbey Road. Just like the Beatles final recording, Sky Blue Sky is a summer album. It's light and airy. It's a Hefe-Weitzen with a lemon compared to the Northern Porter of their last few albums. The first song, "Either Way," sums up the feeling of the album with these lyrics:
Maybe the sun will shine today
And the clouds will roll away
Maybe I won't be so alone
I will try to understand
Everything has it's plan
Either way
Here are some of my observations of the songs on the album:
1. Comparisons with the late '60's Beatles. As previously mentioned, the closest comparison I can make to Sky Blue Sky is Abbey Road. The song "Side With the Seeds" is the 2007 version of Paul McCartney's "Oh, Darling." "Please Be Patient With Me" recalls John Lennon's "Julia" from the White Album. My favorite song on the album, "Hate It Here," combines Billy Preston-like keyboards with Jeff Tweedy mimicking George Harrison "wah-wah" guitar from All Things Must Pass. The refrain of the song reminds of "Isn't It a Pity" from Harrison's classic solo album. All in all, Sky Blue Sky has a easy-going "groove" that past Wilco albums have not had. Two songs, "Impossible Germany" and "Leave Me (Like You Found Me)" have guitar riffs that beg a person to sit on the deck with a beer with summer breeze blowing through what is left of your hair. Can you say that about anything on Yankee Hotel Foxtrot? Other songs on Sky Blue Sky, such as "Walken," and "On and On and On" have a feeling of the jam on the second side of Abbey Road which essentially signaled an end to the Beatles.
2. Return to Wilco roots. Many old-school Wilco fans have never forgiven them for abandoning their alt-country sounds for Beatlesque pop. A couple of songs on the new album revert back to the old Wilco sound. The song "Sky Blue Sky" would be at home on either A.M. or Being There. In addition, "What Light" is a Gram Parsons-influenced tune that could easily find a home on any Uncle Tupelo album (which is a grand compliment). The slide guitar is back and it's great to hear.
All in all, Sky Blue Sky is a fantastic album. Many songs are already available to download. Run, don't walk, to buy this when it is available. I think I have my soundtrack for the summer.
Peace.
Jeff
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Friday, March 30, 2007
Rosie O'Donnell & Those Wacky Iranians
Everyone has been asking “what has been up with those wacky, fun-loving Iranians lately?” Well, it turns out that they have seized 15 British Navel personnel and accused them of illegally trespassing into Iranian waters. According to a New York Times article, The Iranian Foreign Ministry spokesman, Mohammad Ali Hosseini, said the Britons had violated "the sovereign boundaries of other states," the state-run IRNA news agency said, and that Iran was carrying out "further investigation of the blatant aggression." The Times goes on to report that Iranian news agencies said the 15 Britons had been transferred to Tehran. " The said personnel are being interrogated and have confessed to aggression into the Islamic Republic of Iran waters," Gen. Ali Reza Afshar was quoted as saying by the ISNA news agency.
Now, Great Britain does not see the humor in this. Once again, the New York Times reports Prime Minister Tony Blair told Parliament that the British sailors were acting legally and in Iraqi waters, and that Britain was running out of patience with Iran for holding the 15 hostages.
"It is now time to ratchet up international and diplomatic pressure in order to make sure that the Iranian government understands their total isolation on this issue," he told Parliament. Blair and Great Britain have gone so far as to cut diplomatic ties with Iran.
The Royal Navy also took the unusual step of making public charts, photographs and previously secret navigational coordinates to substantiate its claim the British sailors were 1.7 nautical miles - roughly 2 miles - inside Iraqi waters when they were apprehended at gunpoint and forced into Iranian waters.
Apparently, however, the 15 British hostages (14 men and 1 woman) have been treated quite well during their stay in beautiful downtown Tehran. In fact, the female hostage, Faye Turney, has been provided with the traditional Muslim headgear to wear during her stay. She has been treated so well, in fact, that (amazingly) she has fully admitted to illegally crossing over into Iranian waters. She wrote a letter, addressed to the British people, saying that she had been treated well, unlike the prisoners held by the at Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq. "I'm writing to you as a British serviceperson who has been sent to Iraq, sacrificed due to the intervening policies of the Bush and Blair government,'' the letter said. In addition, according to reports, hostage Nathan Summers had this to say on Iranian television: “…I deeply apologize for entering your waters,'' Summers said in the broadcast on Al-Alam television. ”We trespassed without permission.'' Yes, I’m sure the interrogation went something like this:
Iranian authority: “Did you Crusaders illegally enter the Islamic Republic of Iran waters in order to cause harm and provoke a war against our great nation?”
British Seaman: “Hell, yeah. We did that.”
In addition, Iran must be a pretty cool place with really nice people. In fact, Turney had this to say about her captors: "Obviously, we trespassed into their waters" and praising her captors as "very friendly, very hospitable and very thoughtful, nice people. There was no hurt or harm," Turney, whose rank is leading seaman, said in the report. "They were very, very commpassionate." Wow, sounds like they’d all like to stay!
Bullshit.
It sounds to me like Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and his wing-nut regime in Iran is taking some serious risks in seizing these 15 British sailors. According to published reports, Iranian citizens are getting increasingly annoyed with the sanctions placed on their country because of the actions of their “leaders.” Taking 15 hostages is not going to endear Iran to the world community (except maybe France). Interestingly enough, it has been suggested in an article written by Gwynne Dyer that Iran purposely seized British soldiers rather than Americans because they knew the response would be different from the Americans. Dyer writes:
The 15 British sailors and marines who were captured and taken to Tehran for "questioning" last week are undoubtedly having an unpleasant time, but they are alive, and Britain is only involved in two wars, in Iraq and Afghanistan. If it had been one of Horner's boarding teams, they would all be dead, and the United States and Iran would now be at war.
So there they are, eight sailors and seven marines in two rubber boats, with personal weapons and no protection whatever, sitting about 30cm above the water, surrounded by six or seven Iranian attack boats with mounted machine guns.
"Defend yourself" by opening fire, and after a single long burst from half a dozen heavy machine-guns there will be 14 dead young men and one dead young woman in two rapidly sinking inflatables, and your country will be at war. Seems a bit pointless, really..
It's a cultural thing, at bottom. Britain has a long history of fighting wars and taking casualties, but the combat doctrines are less hairy-chested. British rules of engagement "are very much de-escalatory, because we don't want wars starting," explained Admiral Sir Alan West, former First Sea Lord.
"Rather than roaring into action and sinking everything in sight, we try to step back, and that, of course, is why our chaps were ... able to be captured and taken away." Kidnapping American troops as hostages for an exchange could cause a war, so they decided to grab some Brits instead. And it will probably work, after a certain delay.
I’d like to know what you – the readers – think about this viewpoint. I agree that the American response to being boarded and seized would have been more violent. However, does this “threat of a violent reaction” help avoid the incident in the first place? You don’t see 15 Americans being held hostage in Tehran. Now, of course, you did see American hostages held in Tehran 28 years ago under President Carter. Were circumstances different back then? Did Iran think that Carter would not have the cahones to respond militarily? I don’t know – what do you think?
Most importantly, what do the Brain Wizards in Hollywood think about this?? After all, if anyone understands the pulse of America, it is Hollywood. Here is what Rosie O’Donnell had to say about the situation in a recent interview:
O’DONNELL: Yes, but it’s very interesting too that, you know, these guys, they went into the water by mistake right at a time when British and American, you know, they're two, they’re pretty much our biggest ally and we're considering whether or not we should go into war with Iran.
BEHAR: But the U.N. was about to sanction them, also have an embargo against Iran. And the, and the timing [unintelligible] so they distracted the whole world with this.
ELISABETH HASSELBECK: Right and they may be about to expel the inspectors right now, too, which could be considered [unintelligible]
O’DONNELL: Right or it could be just the Gulf of Tonkin, which you should all Google.
So there you have it. It’s OUR own fault, Great Britain and The United States, that those 15 individuals were taken hostage. Those two rubber rafts were going to attack the coast of Iran! You know, Rosie O’Donnell has every right to her opinions, and to voice those opinions. In all honesty, it is heartwarming to me that we live in a country in which talentless individuals such as O’Donnell are provided forums for their ridiculous views (kind of like this blog, you might say!). In fact, many individuals are not only provided a forum for their views, but they are paid handsomely to express them. After all, if O’Donnell lived in Iran and spoke out against “the regime,” she would be punished. This would be a moot point, however, because she would have been punished much earlier in her life for being so unfunny. I’m sure Rosie would love having to wear the black scarf on her head that all women are required to wear in Iran, too.
I hope this drama ends on a positive note, and all of the hostages are returned safely to England. I’d hate for something bad to happen to them, because that would be our fault, too. Right Rosie?
Now, Great Britain does not see the humor in this. Once again, the New York Times reports Prime Minister Tony Blair told Parliament that the British sailors were acting legally and in Iraqi waters, and that Britain was running out of patience with Iran for holding the 15 hostages.
"It is now time to ratchet up international and diplomatic pressure in order to make sure that the Iranian government understands their total isolation on this issue," he told Parliament. Blair and Great Britain have gone so far as to cut diplomatic ties with Iran.
The Royal Navy also took the unusual step of making public charts, photographs and previously secret navigational coordinates to substantiate its claim the British sailors were 1.7 nautical miles - roughly 2 miles - inside Iraqi waters when they were apprehended at gunpoint and forced into Iranian waters.
Apparently, however, the 15 British hostages (14 men and 1 woman) have been treated quite well during their stay in beautiful downtown Tehran. In fact, the female hostage, Faye Turney, has been provided with the traditional Muslim headgear to wear during her stay. She has been treated so well, in fact, that (amazingly) she has fully admitted to illegally crossing over into Iranian waters. She wrote a letter, addressed to the British people, saying that she had been treated well, unlike the prisoners held by the at Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq. "I'm writing to you as a British serviceperson who has been sent to Iraq, sacrificed due to the intervening policies of the Bush and Blair government,'' the letter said. In addition, according to reports, hostage Nathan Summers had this to say on Iranian television: “…I deeply apologize for entering your waters,'' Summers said in the broadcast on Al-Alam television. ”We trespassed without permission.'' Yes, I’m sure the interrogation went something like this:
Iranian authority: “Did you Crusaders illegally enter the Islamic Republic of Iran waters in order to cause harm and provoke a war against our great nation?”
British Seaman: “Hell, yeah. We did that.”
In addition, Iran must be a pretty cool place with really nice people. In fact, Turney had this to say about her captors: "Obviously, we trespassed into their waters" and praising her captors as "very friendly, very hospitable and very thoughtful, nice people. There was no hurt or harm," Turney, whose rank is leading seaman, said in the report. "They were very, very commpassionate." Wow, sounds like they’d all like to stay!
Bullshit.
It sounds to me like Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and his wing-nut regime in Iran is taking some serious risks in seizing these 15 British sailors. According to published reports, Iranian citizens are getting increasingly annoyed with the sanctions placed on their country because of the actions of their “leaders.” Taking 15 hostages is not going to endear Iran to the world community (except maybe France). Interestingly enough, it has been suggested in an article written by Gwynne Dyer that Iran purposely seized British soldiers rather than Americans because they knew the response would be different from the Americans. Dyer writes:
The 15 British sailors and marines who were captured and taken to Tehran for "questioning" last week are undoubtedly having an unpleasant time, but they are alive, and Britain is only involved in two wars, in Iraq and Afghanistan. If it had been one of Horner's boarding teams, they would all be dead, and the United States and Iran would now be at war.
So there they are, eight sailors and seven marines in two rubber boats, with personal weapons and no protection whatever, sitting about 30cm above the water, surrounded by six or seven Iranian attack boats with mounted machine guns.
"Defend yourself" by opening fire, and after a single long burst from half a dozen heavy machine-guns there will be 14 dead young men and one dead young woman in two rapidly sinking inflatables, and your country will be at war. Seems a bit pointless, really..
It's a cultural thing, at bottom. Britain has a long history of fighting wars and taking casualties, but the combat doctrines are less hairy-chested. British rules of engagement "are very much de-escalatory, because we don't want wars starting," explained Admiral Sir Alan West, former First Sea Lord.
"Rather than roaring into action and sinking everything in sight, we try to step back, and that, of course, is why our chaps were ... able to be captured and taken away." Kidnapping American troops as hostages for an exchange could cause a war, so they decided to grab some Brits instead. And it will probably work, after a certain delay.
I’d like to know what you – the readers – think about this viewpoint. I agree that the American response to being boarded and seized would have been more violent. However, does this “threat of a violent reaction” help avoid the incident in the first place? You don’t see 15 Americans being held hostage in Tehran. Now, of course, you did see American hostages held in Tehran 28 years ago under President Carter. Were circumstances different back then? Did Iran think that Carter would not have the cahones to respond militarily? I don’t know – what do you think?
Most importantly, what do the Brain Wizards in Hollywood think about this?? After all, if anyone understands the pulse of America, it is Hollywood. Here is what Rosie O’Donnell had to say about the situation in a recent interview:
O’DONNELL: Yes, but it’s very interesting too that, you know, these guys, they went into the water by mistake right at a time when British and American, you know, they're two, they’re pretty much our biggest ally and we're considering whether or not we should go into war with Iran.
BEHAR: But the U.N. was about to sanction them, also have an embargo against Iran. And the, and the timing [unintelligible] so they distracted the whole world with this.
ELISABETH HASSELBECK: Right and they may be about to expel the inspectors right now, too, which could be considered [unintelligible]
O’DONNELL: Right or it could be just the Gulf of Tonkin, which you should all Google.
So there you have it. It’s OUR own fault, Great Britain and The United States, that those 15 individuals were taken hostage. Those two rubber rafts were going to attack the coast of Iran! You know, Rosie O’Donnell has every right to her opinions, and to voice those opinions. In all honesty, it is heartwarming to me that we live in a country in which talentless individuals such as O’Donnell are provided forums for their ridiculous views (kind of like this blog, you might say!). In fact, many individuals are not only provided a forum for their views, but they are paid handsomely to express them. After all, if O’Donnell lived in Iran and spoke out against “the regime,” she would be punished. This would be a moot point, however, because she would have been punished much earlier in her life for being so unfunny. I’m sure Rosie would love having to wear the black scarf on her head that all women are required to wear in Iran, too.
I hope this drama ends on a positive note, and all of the hostages are returned safely to England. I’d hate for something bad to happen to them, because that would be our fault, too. Right Rosie?
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Goaltending
Congratulations to the North Dakota Fighting Sioux for their 3-2 overtime defeat of the Minnesota Gophers in the NCAA Hockey tournament. It was a hard fought game that could have gone either way. Chris Porter scored the game winner in the first overtime to end the Gophers season. Where is Porter from? Grand Forks, ND? Bismark, ND? Anywhere in North Dakota?? How about the United States???
No - Thunder Bay, Ontario. Canada. Of course. (Rumor has it that Porter actually heard rumors of the State of North Dakota before signing his Letter Of Intent with the school, but could not locate the state on a map). Please see my March 18th post for more information on how I feel about this.
But let's not mince words here. This game came down to goaltending. The goal that Jeff Frazee let in during overtime was weak. My 11-year old son would be embarrassed to let that type of goal in while playing street hockey in our driveway. Granted, Frazee made some great stops to keep the Gophers in the game. And he's a college student after all, not a professional, so it's hard to get too down on him. Goaltending has always been a weak spot for the Gophers, to say the least, and it cost the Gophers their season. I guess it's really hard for me to watch the outstanding combination of Backstrom, Harding & Fernandez play for the Wild, and then flip the channel over to the Gophers and see Frazee and Briggs struggle for the Gophers.
Anyway, the season is over. What the hell. Go Wild.
Peace.
Jeff
No - Thunder Bay, Ontario. Canada. Of course. (Rumor has it that Porter actually heard rumors of the State of North Dakota before signing his Letter Of Intent with the school, but could not locate the state on a map). Please see my March 18th post for more information on how I feel about this.
But let's not mince words here. This game came down to goaltending. The goal that Jeff Frazee let in during overtime was weak. My 11-year old son would be embarrassed to let that type of goal in while playing street hockey in our driveway. Granted, Frazee made some great stops to keep the Gophers in the game. And he's a college student after all, not a professional, so it's hard to get too down on him. Goaltending has always been a weak spot for the Gophers, to say the least, and it cost the Gophers their season. I guess it's really hard for me to watch the outstanding combination of Backstrom, Harding & Fernandez play for the Wild, and then flip the channel over to the Gophers and see Frazee and Briggs struggle for the Gophers.
Anyway, the season is over. What the hell. Go Wild.
Peace.
Jeff
Friday, March 23, 2007
State Of The State In Sports - 1st Edition
Those of you that know me realize that I am quite into sports. I spend a lot of my free time thinking about sports and sports stadiums. Luckily, I don't have that much free time anymore, so I'm not quite as obsessed as I used to be. Back in college, it literally used to ruin my week when the Vikings lost. If I felt that way today, I'd be a basket case, and quite possibly dead. Anyway, I thought it would be a good idea to begin a "State of the State in Sports" post in which I treat the four Minnesota pro teams and Gophers men's teams as "stocks." You know - buy vs. sell. I apologize to all of my female readers (hell0?), but I am not going to rate any of the Gophers women's teams. First off, I know nothing about them. Secondly, without trying to sound like a sexist bastard, who cares?
So here we go with The State of the State in Sports - Edition 1 (3/23/07):
Minnesota Twins -Tentative Buy. I love the Twins. No other pro franchise in Minnesota has provided their fans with more "likeable" players, winning seasons, world championships and virtually no off the field embarrassment. Their future seems to be clouding up a little, however. They have an incredible upside, and an incredible downside. For starters, Joe Mauer has just been diagnosed with a "minor stress reaction" in his left ankle. He is out 4 - 5 days. The Twins, however, are notorious for under evaluating injuries. As Patrick Ruesse has said, "The Twins haven't been this confident that an injury is minor since Francisco Liriano's elbow in 2006." Add to this the stadium issue. I'm not going to go into detail on this, but the information on the land deal seems to change hourly. Every time a land deal seem imminent, some new problem is brought up in the media. Without this new stadium, there is no Twins. Folks, there is no going back to the Legislature for a "site change." They either condemn the land and move forward, or start looking for another city to play in. Stay tuned.
Minnesota Wild - Strong Buy! The Wild is quickly becoming the most "competent" franchise in the Twin Cities. They are a model NHL franchise. They boast a state-of-the-art arena, 7000 on the season ticket waiting list, Hall of Fame coaching staff (Lemaire, Ramsey & Trembley), Management (Risebrough) and incredible young talent (Gaborik, Bouchard, Burns, Koivu). And now they are starting to win. The playoff run in 2003 was great, but everyone knew it was a fluke. This year's squad, however, is loaded with home-grown talent hand picked in the draft. They are on a 8-game winning streak and are shooting for home-ice advantage in the first round of the playoffs. Many of their stars are signed for years to come. I believe the Wild is lined up for years of success because this franchise knows that their fans are the reason for their existence.
Minnesota Vikings - Um, sell. Quickly. And then there is the Vikings. Please re-read the Wild section of this post, and then turn everything around 180 degrees and you have the Minnesota Vikings. This franchise could screw up a two-car funeral. Where to begin? Lousy stadium? Boat cruise? Horrible draft picks (Troy Williamson)? Off-the-field embarrassments too many to count? Horrible ownership? Standoffish, paranoid coach? Kick-ass offense? Herschel Walker trade? Randy Moss? Demitrius Underwood? Threatening to move? Choking in the playoffs? 41 - doughnut? Gary Anderson wide-left? I can truthfully say that no organization has come close to providing me with more personal anguish over the years than the Minnesota Vikings. One positive, however, is that I always really liked their uniforms. What did they do last year? They changed their uniforms to look like something from the Arena Football League. Nice going, guys. Well, at least I have my Sunday afternoons back now to enjoy the nice fall days. No more wasting four hours only to be disappointed by a late fumble or shanked field goal. Good luck with Tarvarius Jackson or Brooks Bollinger at QB next year! I see one big way list franchise can be turned around quickly - if Zygi Wilf builds his own outdoor stadium for the team. Get back to the roots - outdoor, cold. I will now sit and hold my breath until this happens..............................................................................hello? Zygi?
Minnesota Timberwolves - Sell. I've never been a huge NBA fan. I just don't get the thugs and the posse's (spelling??). It seems like 75% of these guys would be in prison if they weren't playing basketball. One thing that I give the Wolves credit for is spending money. They will throw money around, and gladly exceed the salary cap. The problem is that they spend it on all of the wrong guys. And, other than Kevin Garnett, they rarely draft competent players. In fact, they have drafted a few that are downright laughable. I really believe they are now in a position in which they HAVE to trade Garnett, and start over from scratch. I'm not going to spend a lot of time on the T-Wolves because I just don't really care. Which is much worse than the Vikings making me mad.
Minnesota Gophers Basketball - Buy! Yes, you read that correctly. If you would have told me that I'd put "buy" here two days ago, I would have said you are crazy. All that happened in the last couple days is Tubby Smith fell in their laps. I thought they would end up signing some "up and coming" coach from a minor conference ( see Dan Monson). But Tubby frickin' Smith? He brings instant credibility, and I've got to think excellent recruiting. I don't care what the rubes and rednecks in Ketucky are saying. "10-loss Tubby?" If Tubby only loses 10 games a year in Minnesota, we'll name a street after him. This team suddenly got some good Karma! Should be fun to watch.
Minnesota Gophers Football - Tentative Buy. Another shocking development, because in the past I would have put "give away" here. However, Tim Brewster seems like an affable chap who knows how to recruit. And, they have a new outdoor stadium on the way. I'll watch anyone play outside. I'm going to put "tentative" here, however, because they have 40 years of losing in their history. Brewster seems like a good guy, but he needs to win some games, or he will be the next Jim Wacker. "Good golly my corpuscles are jumpin!" I believe the public "wants" to cheer for this team more than any other team in the state - they just haven't had a reason to in decades. Only the Vikings have "snatched more defeats from the jaws of victory" than the Gopher football team. Some losses have been mind-boggling (Michigan, Wisconsin blocked punt, etc. etc. etc.). If this changes, and they start to win, they could actually surpass the Vikings in popularity within a couple of years (especially if the Vikes move to LA).
Minnesota Gophers Hockey - Buy. The Gophers have been called the New York Yankees of college hockey. Best arena, best recruits, etc. They actually have had a little bit of a handicap, however, over the last couple of years. Their best players are virtually all Freshman and Sophomores. Many of their "stars" have been jumping to the NHL after a year to two in college. This has hurt a little lately in the post-season tournaments when they are going up against more seasoned, hungrier teams. If you remember their last couple of National Championships, their rosters included senior leadership such as Jordan Leopold and Johnny Pohl. I have a good feeling about this years, WCHA- champs, however. They play hated Air Force tomorrow, and a win may set up a rematch against No- Dak. That will be the game of the year. Or, a loss to hated Air Force would mean two first round chokes in two years (i.e. Holy Cross).
Anyway, let me know what you think of these ratings. My friends back in "Sconny can rate their squads, too if you want. Time for this 40-year-old to hit the hay.
Jeff
So here we go with The State of the State in Sports - Edition 1 (3/23/07):
Minnesota Twins -Tentative Buy. I love the Twins. No other pro franchise in Minnesota has provided their fans with more "likeable" players, winning seasons, world championships and virtually no off the field embarrassment. Their future seems to be clouding up a little, however. They have an incredible upside, and an incredible downside. For starters, Joe Mauer has just been diagnosed with a "minor stress reaction" in his left ankle. He is out 4 - 5 days. The Twins, however, are notorious for under evaluating injuries. As Patrick Ruesse has said, "The Twins haven't been this confident that an injury is minor since Francisco Liriano's elbow in 2006." Add to this the stadium issue. I'm not going to go into detail on this, but the information on the land deal seems to change hourly. Every time a land deal seem imminent, some new problem is brought up in the media. Without this new stadium, there is no Twins. Folks, there is no going back to the Legislature for a "site change." They either condemn the land and move forward, or start looking for another city to play in. Stay tuned.
Minnesota Wild - Strong Buy! The Wild is quickly becoming the most "competent" franchise in the Twin Cities. They are a model NHL franchise. They boast a state-of-the-art arena, 7000 on the season ticket waiting list, Hall of Fame coaching staff (Lemaire, Ramsey & Trembley), Management (Risebrough) and incredible young talent (Gaborik, Bouchard, Burns, Koivu). And now they are starting to win. The playoff run in 2003 was great, but everyone knew it was a fluke. This year's squad, however, is loaded with home-grown talent hand picked in the draft. They are on a 8-game winning streak and are shooting for home-ice advantage in the first round of the playoffs. Many of their stars are signed for years to come. I believe the Wild is lined up for years of success because this franchise knows that their fans are the reason for their existence.
Minnesota Vikings - Um, sell. Quickly. And then there is the Vikings. Please re-read the Wild section of this post, and then turn everything around 180 degrees and you have the Minnesota Vikings. This franchise could screw up a two-car funeral. Where to begin? Lousy stadium? Boat cruise? Horrible draft picks (Troy Williamson)? Off-the-field embarrassments too many to count? Horrible ownership? Standoffish, paranoid coach? Kick-ass offense? Herschel Walker trade? Randy Moss? Demitrius Underwood? Threatening to move? Choking in the playoffs? 41 - doughnut? Gary Anderson wide-left? I can truthfully say that no organization has come close to providing me with more personal anguish over the years than the Minnesota Vikings. One positive, however, is that I always really liked their uniforms. What did they do last year? They changed their uniforms to look like something from the Arena Football League. Nice going, guys. Well, at least I have my Sunday afternoons back now to enjoy the nice fall days. No more wasting four hours only to be disappointed by a late fumble or shanked field goal. Good luck with Tarvarius Jackson or Brooks Bollinger at QB next year! I see one big way list franchise can be turned around quickly - if Zygi Wilf builds his own outdoor stadium for the team. Get back to the roots - outdoor, cold. I will now sit and hold my breath until this happens..............................................................................hello? Zygi?
Minnesota Timberwolves - Sell. I've never been a huge NBA fan. I just don't get the thugs and the posse's (spelling??). It seems like 75% of these guys would be in prison if they weren't playing basketball. One thing that I give the Wolves credit for is spending money. They will throw money around, and gladly exceed the salary cap. The problem is that they spend it on all of the wrong guys. And, other than Kevin Garnett, they rarely draft competent players. In fact, they have drafted a few that are downright laughable. I really believe they are now in a position in which they HAVE to trade Garnett, and start over from scratch. I'm not going to spend a lot of time on the T-Wolves because I just don't really care. Which is much worse than the Vikings making me mad.
Minnesota Gophers Basketball - Buy! Yes, you read that correctly. If you would have told me that I'd put "buy" here two days ago, I would have said you are crazy. All that happened in the last couple days is Tubby Smith fell in their laps. I thought they would end up signing some "up and coming" coach from a minor conference ( see Dan Monson). But Tubby frickin' Smith? He brings instant credibility, and I've got to think excellent recruiting. I don't care what the rubes and rednecks in Ketucky are saying. "10-loss Tubby?" If Tubby only loses 10 games a year in Minnesota, we'll name a street after him. This team suddenly got some good Karma! Should be fun to watch.
Minnesota Gophers Football - Tentative Buy. Another shocking development, because in the past I would have put "give away" here. However, Tim Brewster seems like an affable chap who knows how to recruit. And, they have a new outdoor stadium on the way. I'll watch anyone play outside. I'm going to put "tentative" here, however, because they have 40 years of losing in their history. Brewster seems like a good guy, but he needs to win some games, or he will be the next Jim Wacker. "Good golly my corpuscles are jumpin!" I believe the public "wants" to cheer for this team more than any other team in the state - they just haven't had a reason to in decades. Only the Vikings have "snatched more defeats from the jaws of victory" than the Gopher football team. Some losses have been mind-boggling (Michigan, Wisconsin blocked punt, etc. etc. etc.). If this changes, and they start to win, they could actually surpass the Vikings in popularity within a couple of years (especially if the Vikes move to LA).
Minnesota Gophers Hockey - Buy. The Gophers have been called the New York Yankees of college hockey. Best arena, best recruits, etc. They actually have had a little bit of a handicap, however, over the last couple of years. Their best players are virtually all Freshman and Sophomores. Many of their "stars" have been jumping to the NHL after a year to two in college. This has hurt a little lately in the post-season tournaments when they are going up against more seasoned, hungrier teams. If you remember their last couple of National Championships, their rosters included senior leadership such as Jordan Leopold and Johnny Pohl. I have a good feeling about this years, WCHA- champs, however. They play hated Air Force tomorrow, and a win may set up a rematch against No- Dak. That will be the game of the year. Or, a loss to hated Air Force would mean two first round chokes in two years (i.e. Holy Cross).
Anyway, let me know what you think of these ratings. My friends back in "Sconny can rate their squads, too if you want. Time for this 40-year-old to hit the hay.
Jeff
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
One last thing...
So, I'm just about to turn in for the night around 9:00 (I'm 40 now, you know) and I happen to be searching some web sites for the latest Twins stadium news (it's an obsession). I come across the Kare 11 web site, and they have a link to stories from Wisconsin called "Across Wisconsin." Oh, hey, I was born there, lets see what's going on. Here was today's story:
A 20-year-old Superior man received probation after he was convicted of having sexual contact with a dead deer. The sentence also requires Bryan James Hathaway to be evaluated as a sex offender and treated at the Institute for Psychological and Sexual Health in Duluth, Minn." The state believes that particular place is the best to provide treatment for the individual," Assistant District Attorney Jim Boughner said. Hathaway's probation will be served at the same time as a nine-month jail sentence he received in February for violating his extended supervision. He was found guilty in April 2005 of felony mistreatment of an animal after he killed a horse with the intention of having sex with it. He was sentenced to 18 months in jail and two years of extended supervision on that charge as well as six years of probation for taking and driving a vehicle without the owner's consent. Hathaway pleaded no contest earlier this month to misdemeanor mistreatment of an animal for the incident involving the deer. He was sentenced Tuesday in Douglas County Circuit Court."The type of behavior is disturbing," Judge Michael Lucci said. "It's disturbing to the public. It's disturbing to the court."
And, it's disturbing to Jeff. A dead deer. Hey, I like venison too, but this is taking things a bit far. To make matters worse, it's not this guy's first offense. A horse? Even worse (if that's possible) a dead horse? I will ask again - why Wisconsin? Couldn't this guy be from Michigan? Hey - I've visited the UP of Michigan and it's a little weird up there. Maybe they just don't report on these types of "incidents."
Boy, I sure hope the Institute for Psychological and Sexual Health in Duluth has a good outpatient program for guys who like dead animals. A person must have to attend an extra week or two in this program to be "fully rehabilitated."
On a positive note, however, there was no mention of the guy's blood-alcohol level when he was caught. I'm sure he was 100% sober.
I have a feeling I'm going to have some weird dreams tonight.
Jeff
A 20-year-old Superior man received probation after he was convicted of having sexual contact with a dead deer. The sentence also requires Bryan James Hathaway to be evaluated as a sex offender and treated at the Institute for Psychological and Sexual Health in Duluth, Minn." The state believes that particular place is the best to provide treatment for the individual," Assistant District Attorney Jim Boughner said. Hathaway's probation will be served at the same time as a nine-month jail sentence he received in February for violating his extended supervision. He was found guilty in April 2005 of felony mistreatment of an animal after he killed a horse with the intention of having sex with it. He was sentenced to 18 months in jail and two years of extended supervision on that charge as well as six years of probation for taking and driving a vehicle without the owner's consent. Hathaway pleaded no contest earlier this month to misdemeanor mistreatment of an animal for the incident involving the deer. He was sentenced Tuesday in Douglas County Circuit Court."The type of behavior is disturbing," Judge Michael Lucci said. "It's disturbing to the public. It's disturbing to the court."
And, it's disturbing to Jeff. A dead deer. Hey, I like venison too, but this is taking things a bit far. To make matters worse, it's not this guy's first offense. A horse? Even worse (if that's possible) a dead horse? I will ask again - why Wisconsin? Couldn't this guy be from Michigan? Hey - I've visited the UP of Michigan and it's a little weird up there. Maybe they just don't report on these types of "incidents."
Boy, I sure hope the Institute for Psychological and Sexual Health in Duluth has a good outpatient program for guys who like dead animals. A person must have to attend an extra week or two in this program to be "fully rehabilitated."
On a positive note, however, there was no mention of the guy's blood-alcohol level when he was caught. I'm sure he was 100% sober.
I have a feeling I'm going to have some weird dreams tonight.
Jeff
Where The Hell Is Jase?
OK. I've had a few posts here the last few days, and not one comment from Jase. Where are you, Jase? I've even heard from Ronny-San, for God's sakes. Are you on vacation? Maybe at the Mall looking for shoes? Down at Ray's?
The Randy-Moss-To-The-Packers rumors have quieted down. I can see how a Packer fan would go into hiding over that one. Don't worry Jase - I don't think it's going to happen.
Hope to hear from you soon. The blog's just not the same...
Jeff
The Randy-Moss-To-The-Packers rumors have quieted down. I can see how a Packer fan would go into hiding over that one. Don't worry Jase - I don't think it's going to happen.
Hope to hear from you soon. The blog's just not the same...
Jeff
Monday, March 19, 2007
Life Lessons
Sometimes I struggle for topics to write about for this blog, and other times the posts write themselves. This is one of those times. I came across a great feature on msn.com in which famous men over the age of 50 were interviewed and asked to provide their "life lessons" learned throughout the years. These men are actors, rock stars, sports figures, owners of pornographic magazines, etc. In my opinion, some of these men come across as wise sages and others as jack asses. I am simply going to list some of their "pearls of wisdom" and let you decipher between the sages and the asses:
Tom Petty:
--I couldn't exist nowadays. I could never have built a career like I've had if I were just starting out now. Radio doesn't take a chance on anything anymore; they've streamlined the playlists to the lowest common denominator. It's really kind of silly that they think people would rather hear "Stairway to Heaven" one more time than a new song.
--I remember John Lennon saying, "Sid Vicious died for what? So that we might rock?" You've got to keep that in perspective. At the end of the day, they're just phonograph records.
--What surprises me about getting older is that I remain so young. If you don't have a sense of humor about life and yourself, then you are old.
--Gloria Steinem said that a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. And now she's married to a wealthy guy. So what does that say to you?
Ozzy Osbourne:
--My problem is that by the time I understood a little bit about life, I was well on the way to f**king burnout.
--Back in the day, it was, "If you're going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some flowers in your hair." Where in the f**k was San Francisco? And the only flowers we ever saw in Aston were on a coffin going to a cemetery.
--I can't do anything in moderation. When I used to smoke, I smoked thirty Cohibas a day.
--What makes a good day for me? It's not picking up a drink or using any drugs. At this point, today.
--To be a liar, you've got to have a great memory, and I don't have a memory.
--You don't accidentally become an ass. It takes a bit of work.
Tom Petty:
--I couldn't exist nowadays. I could never have built a career like I've had if I were just starting out now. Radio doesn't take a chance on anything anymore; they've streamlined the playlists to the lowest common denominator. It's really kind of silly that they think people would rather hear "Stairway to Heaven" one more time than a new song.
--I remember John Lennon saying, "Sid Vicious died for what? So that we might rock?" You've got to keep that in perspective. At the end of the day, they're just phonograph records.
--When you kill somebody's little sister with a missile, he's going to hate you forever. And the next generation will hate you even more.
--Do something you really like, and hopefully it pays the rent. As far as I'm concerned, that's success.
Hugh Hefner:--What surprises me about getting older is that I remain so young. If you don't have a sense of humor about life and yourself, then you are old.
--Gloria Steinem said that a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. And now she's married to a wealthy guy. So what does that say to you?
Ozzy Osbourne:
--My problem is that by the time I understood a little bit about life, I was well on the way to f**king burnout.
--Back in the day, it was, "If you're going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some flowers in your hair." Where in the f**k was San Francisco? And the only flowers we ever saw in Aston were on a coffin going to a cemetery.
--I can't do anything in moderation. When I used to smoke, I smoked thirty Cohibas a day.
--What makes a good day for me? It's not picking up a drink or using any drugs. At this point, today.
--To be a liar, you've got to have a great memory, and I don't have a memory.
--You don't accidentally become an ass. It takes a bit of work.
Gene Simmons:
--Kiss is the number-one American band in gold-record sales. In the world, only the Beatles and the Stones are ahead of us. Every other band should be wiping my ass. The line forms over there to the left.
--I want more guys like Kurt Cobain and Jerry Garcia to become dried-up drug addicts and kill themselves. I totally defend all these rock stars' right to become heroin addicts and die. I want them all to die and get out of my way.
--"You can't buy love with money." Only a poor person says that.
--I think Christians are wrong. They're wrong because you're not judged by your actions, you're judged by your beliefs, which is to say that if you're Hitler and right before you die, you say, "Jesus, I'm sorry," you get a better chance of going to heaven than the millions of people you killed.
Neil Young (one of my favorite people):
--Yes, there was something good that came out of having polio as a kid. Walking.
--The wisest person I ever met had to be my companion in the hospital. I was recovering from complications after an operation to remove an aneurism in my brain. She was about eighty-five years old and maybe five feet tall. An old black lady from South Carolina. This young nurse wasn't really in touch with what she was doing, and the old lady would tell her how to do what she needed to do without telling her. She never talked down to her, just gave examples. I felt that this old woman must be deeply religious, but there was nothing forceful about her. I woke up one morning at a quarter to six and looked out the window. Fog was on the bridge outside the room, and I said, "Well, that's just beautiful." And she said: "Yes, it is." She turned toward me with this eighty-five-year-old face that didn't have a line on it, no strain, nothing, and she said: "So the master's not taking you. It's not your turn."
--When I was six, I really didn't know what God was. But I did know about Sunday school. I was reading a lot about God, but I was bored. I couldn't wait to get out of Sunday school. God was secondary to the whole thing. But as time went by, I got more and more angry, to the point where I didn't like religion. Hate is a strong word. But I just kept getting angrier and angrier . . . until finally I wasn't angry anymore. I was just peaceful, because I thought: This is not fruitful for me. I rejected the whole thing and found peace in paganism. Jesus didn't go to church. I went way back before Jesus. Back to the forest, to the wheat fields, to the river, to the ocean. I go where the wind is. That's my church.
--Maybe this is a little too thoughtful, but we're all just passengers in a way.
Keith Richards:
--So far, so good
--I've done a lot of dadding.
--Whoo, I tell you what -- it grows you up pretty quick when that little bugger starts waking up. Suddenly there's this little cute ball of stuff yelling its head off -- boom! Snap to! Oh, man, I better take care of this. Daughters are far easier to bring up. My first was Marlon, my son, and he gave me a good fight, man. He would drag my butt sometimes, before I could talk to him and instill the wisdom of not doing that.
--Poison's not bad. It's a matter of how much.
Forest Whitaker:
--The other night, I was walking down the stairs behind one of my daughters -- I have three, and one son, ages eight to sixteen. I was tired, and she was goofing around, you know, like kids do, doing all this stupid stuff on the stairs. And I was thinking, Please just go down the stairs and let's get you to bed. It's after your bedtime. I've had enough for one day. And then I sort of caught myself. I snapped out of it. I was like, Dude, you should be dancing down the stairs behind her!
--One of my greatest lessons in life came from my mom. When I told her I didn't want to go to church, she said, "You don't have to go to church, but you have to go somewhere. You have to believe in something."
And one of my favorites sayings from Warren Zevon:
...You better take the time to enjoy every sandwich.
Just some stuff to think about.
Peace,
Jeff
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Sunday Morning "Gut Feeling" Update
Wow. I couldn't have been more wrong with my Wednesday night WCHA tournament predictions. St. Could over Wisconsin for the title? So much for my "gut feelings." This is reason #456 why I don't gamble. I have to give Gilby kudos for his predictions in the Comment section on my last post - he had every game correct except for the outcome of the Championship game.
I have always enjoyed watching college hockey. I also love the NHL, but I enjoy the added offense that the college game provides, particularly when games are played on an Olympic sized-rink. I also find it easy to root for the Gophers and Badgers. After all, I live in Minnesota now, and probably will for the foreseeable future, and I was born in Wisconsin. However, there is one other factor that makes these teams easy to root for - they do not rely on bringing in Canadian players to bolster their team. (Side note to my handsome and witty Canadian brother in law - please take this as a compliment. Canadians play the game at a different level, and I've always looked at them as "hired mercenaries" when they are playing hockey at American Universities). Here is a look at the 2007 roster for the five teams that played in the WCHA Final Five and the number of Canadian players on each team:
Michigan Tech: 15
North Dakota: 11
St. Cloud: 8
Wisconsin: 3
Minnesota: 0
It's kind of interesting when you look at it this way. Or, once again, maybe I'm spending too much time researching this kind of stuff. The brackets for the NCAA tournament will be named later today. Then, I can start talking about the Midwest - East Coast rivalries, right Phil?
Peace,
Jeff
I have always enjoyed watching college hockey. I also love the NHL, but I enjoy the added offense that the college game provides, particularly when games are played on an Olympic sized-rink. I also find it easy to root for the Gophers and Badgers. After all, I live in Minnesota now, and probably will for the foreseeable future, and I was born in Wisconsin. However, there is one other factor that makes these teams easy to root for - they do not rely on bringing in Canadian players to bolster their team. (Side note to my handsome and witty Canadian brother in law - please take this as a compliment. Canadians play the game at a different level, and I've always looked at them as "hired mercenaries" when they are playing hockey at American Universities). Here is a look at the 2007 roster for the five teams that played in the WCHA Final Five and the number of Canadian players on each team:
Michigan Tech: 15
North Dakota: 11
St. Cloud: 8
Wisconsin: 3
Minnesota: 0
It's kind of interesting when you look at it this way. Or, once again, maybe I'm spending too much time researching this kind of stuff. The brackets for the NCAA tournament will be named later today. Then, I can start talking about the Midwest - East Coast rivalries, right Phil?
Peace,
Jeff
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
More Tidbits...
Here are a couple of things that have made me think recently:
1. The stadium land impasse continues to drag on, sending me closer to insanity with each tick of the clock (although rumors persist that there may be a solution soon). I have been hard on the Mayor of Minneapolis, R. T. Rybak, and the Minneapolis City Council for their apparent unwillingness to get involved and help solve the issue. I had yet another Letter to the Editor published in the Star Tribune criticizing them for their non-involvement. I have also been critical because crime is on the rise downtown, libraries are underfunded, businesses are shutting down and leaving, and the Twins and Vikings may be the next to vacate downtown. It seems to me like the Mayor and City Council are nowhere to be found. I have to apologize, however, because it has been brought to my attention that the Minneapolis City Council is indeed hard at work addressing the problems that confront their city. Please read the following report that appeared on the KARE 11 web site:
"A couple of Minneapolis City Council members plan to introduce a ban on performances by circus animals within in the city limits. Council members Ralph Remington and Cam Gordon want to amend city ordinances to prohibit circuses from bringing elephants, tigers and other wild animals into Minneapolis. "It's adapting to the times and trying to be more humane in our treatment of wild animals," said Remington. He said the ban would be introduced this month, and that he thinks he has the seven votes needed to pass it. Gordon said the proposed ban was the result of a long-term lobbying effort by animal rights activists. "It's arisen organically," said Gordon. "It is an issue coming from some active constituents and some people in my ward. But it's not a groundswell of people who are impatiently pounding on doors." ...But proposed bans have failed in other cities.The Minneapolis Shrine Circus, which is scheduled for the Target Center in mid-October, is among the circuses that could be affected by the ban."
And there you have it. I am humbled and sincerely apologize for my criticism of the Minneapolis City Council. They truly do feel the pulse of the city in their heart. I have to admit that I have spent many-a-night tossing and turning thinking about The Elephants. Now, because of this bill, a great injustice may be righted. Coincidentally, Mayor Rybak has not weighed in on this issue as of yet, but rumors persist that he has assembled a Task Force of elephants and circus workers to research the issue and report back to him with their recommendations.
2. A Wisconsin lawmaker recently proposed a bill that would require sex offenders in the State to have bright-green license plates on their cars so they are easily identified. Here is the story from the Star Tribune:
MADISON, Wis. — Wisconsin's worst sex offenders would have to drive vehicles with bright green license plates, possibly for the rest of their lives, under a bill a Republican lawmaker introduced Monday. Child molesters and sexually violent offenders would have to bolt the plates onto their cars and trucks when they're released from prison, the bill's author, Rep. Joel Kleefisch, R-Oconomowoc, said. Many sex offenders use their cars to commit their crimes, driving to see someone they meet online or prowling parks and schools, Kleefisch said. He picked green because children associate it with Mr. Yuk, a symbol designed to warn children of poison. "We chose the color bright green because many children have learned to stay away from Mr. Yuk," Kleefisch said. "We want parents to know if there's a car with one of these plates lurking near a playground, beware." Kleefisch said he's also considering emblazoning each plate with a sex offender warning."
I think this is a fantastic idea. I think it is all too easy for these criminals to blend back into society once they are released from jail, prison, etc. I also have an idea what the additional warning on each plate could read. It could simply say:
ASS HOLE
3. I am writing this on Wednesday night, and the WCHA Final Five hockey tournament takes place at the Xcel Energy Center starting on Thursday. Here are my predictions:
Thursday Night:
Wisconsin over Michigan Tech
Friday Night:
St. Cloud State over North Dakota
Wisconsin over Minnesota (three reasons - Gophers are too young, NHL-sized vs. Olympic- sized rink, and goaltending. I'll take Blake Richter over Frazee and Briggs - they make me nervous)
Saturday Night:
St. Cloud State over Wisconsin (playing three games in three days catches up with Badgers)
That's all for now. Peace.
Jeff
1. The stadium land impasse continues to drag on, sending me closer to insanity with each tick of the clock (although rumors persist that there may be a solution soon). I have been hard on the Mayor of Minneapolis, R. T. Rybak, and the Minneapolis City Council for their apparent unwillingness to get involved and help solve the issue. I had yet another Letter to the Editor published in the Star Tribune criticizing them for their non-involvement. I have also been critical because crime is on the rise downtown, libraries are underfunded, businesses are shutting down and leaving, and the Twins and Vikings may be the next to vacate downtown. It seems to me like the Mayor and City Council are nowhere to be found. I have to apologize, however, because it has been brought to my attention that the Minneapolis City Council is indeed hard at work addressing the problems that confront their city. Please read the following report that appeared on the KARE 11 web site:
"A couple of Minneapolis City Council members plan to introduce a ban on performances by circus animals within in the city limits. Council members Ralph Remington and Cam Gordon want to amend city ordinances to prohibit circuses from bringing elephants, tigers and other wild animals into Minneapolis. "It's adapting to the times and trying to be more humane in our treatment of wild animals," said Remington. He said the ban would be introduced this month, and that he thinks he has the seven votes needed to pass it. Gordon said the proposed ban was the result of a long-term lobbying effort by animal rights activists. "It's arisen organically," said Gordon. "It is an issue coming from some active constituents and some people in my ward. But it's not a groundswell of people who are impatiently pounding on doors." ...But proposed bans have failed in other cities.The Minneapolis Shrine Circus, which is scheduled for the Target Center in mid-October, is among the circuses that could be affected by the ban."
And there you have it. I am humbled and sincerely apologize for my criticism of the Minneapolis City Council. They truly do feel the pulse of the city in their heart. I have to admit that I have spent many-a-night tossing and turning thinking about The Elephants. Now, because of this bill, a great injustice may be righted. Coincidentally, Mayor Rybak has not weighed in on this issue as of yet, but rumors persist that he has assembled a Task Force of elephants and circus workers to research the issue and report back to him with their recommendations.
2. A Wisconsin lawmaker recently proposed a bill that would require sex offenders in the State to have bright-green license plates on their cars so they are easily identified. Here is the story from the Star Tribune:
MADISON, Wis. — Wisconsin's worst sex offenders would have to drive vehicles with bright green license plates, possibly for the rest of their lives, under a bill a Republican lawmaker introduced Monday. Child molesters and sexually violent offenders would have to bolt the plates onto their cars and trucks when they're released from prison, the bill's author, Rep. Joel Kleefisch, R-Oconomowoc, said. Many sex offenders use their cars to commit their crimes, driving to see someone they meet online or prowling parks and schools, Kleefisch said. He picked green because children associate it with Mr. Yuk, a symbol designed to warn children of poison. "We chose the color bright green because many children have learned to stay away from Mr. Yuk," Kleefisch said. "We want parents to know if there's a car with one of these plates lurking near a playground, beware." Kleefisch said he's also considering emblazoning each plate with a sex offender warning."
I think this is a fantastic idea. I think it is all too easy for these criminals to blend back into society once they are released from jail, prison, etc. I also have an idea what the additional warning on each plate could read. It could simply say:
ASS HOLE
3. I am writing this on Wednesday night, and the WCHA Final Five hockey tournament takes place at the Xcel Energy Center starting on Thursday. Here are my predictions:
Thursday Night:
Wisconsin over Michigan Tech
Friday Night:
St. Cloud State over North Dakota
Wisconsin over Minnesota (three reasons - Gophers are too young, NHL-sized vs. Olympic- sized rink, and goaltending. I'll take Blake Richter over Frazee and Briggs - they make me nervous)
Saturday Night:
St. Cloud State over Wisconsin (playing three games in three days catches up with Badgers)
That's all for now. Peace.
Jeff
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Why Always From Wisconsin?
Those of you who know me are aware that I hail from Eau Claire, Wisconsin. Sure, I now reside in St. Paul, and always have followed Minnesota sports teams. In some weird way, I always felt that Twin Cities teams were "home teams" for Eau Claire, mainly because the Minneapolis/St. Paul and EC are only 80 miles apart vs. the 250 mile commute to Green Bay or Milwaukee. Vicinity over statehood. However, I was born and bred in Wisconsin, and feel very proud to call Eau Claire my hometown. Because of this Wisconsin upbringing, however, if I am watching a news story about a moronic incident involving alcohol, I can sense early on that the culprit will be from Wisconsin. For instance, take the story about the drunk gentleman who recently fell 17 stories in a Minneapolis skyscraper and survived. As I listened to the story, the first question that I asked myself was "I wonder where in Wisconsin this fellow is from?" Turns out he was from Blair, WI, which is halfway between Eau Claire and La Crosse. More on that story in a bit.
When these events involving alcohol happen, why are all of these people invariably from Wisconsin? Well, I can tell you one thing - people there like to drink. There are things in life that are fun, but the common way of thinking in WI is "wouldn't this be more fun if we were drinking?" For instance, golf, fishing, attending sporting events, eating, archery, bowling, darts, Foosball, mowing the lawn, shoveling, painting, etc., can be more fun if you are drinking.
In addition, certain things that would not be fun while not drinking, suddenly become "a good idea." Take, for instance, lighting a cop car on fire. Or streaking. Or inciting a riot. These are things that a normal, sober human being would have no interest in become involved with. However, have a few belts on an empty stomach, and the next thing you know you're running naked through the streets with plumes of smoke rising behind you and sirens are wailing in the background. I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about. This leads me to the latest "incidents" that have been in the news. Let's start with the gentleman from Blair, WI who fell 17 stories and survived.
Josh Hanson, 29, was recently in Minneapolis with a buddy to attend an annual Midwest dart tournament (of course). According to a report in the Star Tribune, Josh and his friend peered out of the window in the hallway on the 17th floor of his downtown Minneapolis hotel and remarked that it was a pretty frickin' long way down. Then, they proceeded to play darts and drink a beer or 27 throughout the day. They returned back to the hotel that night, and I'll just let the Star Tribune tell what happened next:
"When they returned to the Hyatt, they took an elevator up. Once the doors opened, for a reason he said he is not even sure of, he took off running toward their room. He guesses that as he "kept truckin' " down the hallway, he "must have thought there was more hallway." He's grateful he can't recall smashing into the window, freefalling through the air or crashing onto a roof overhang. After being treated for a collapsed lung and cuts, he emerged from the hospital with a rod holding together his right leg."
Wow, bummer. Can you imagine falling 17 stories and living? Pretty amazing. Ever since this event, Hanson has been contacted by media outlets worldwide to tell the tale. The Star Tribune managed to track him down at the bar he owns, Heinie's, in Blair, WI (pause here for irony). Here are some of the other snippets from the interview he granted the newspaper:
As for the memories, they are sketchy. "I can't distinguish between what I remember and what people have told me," he said. (I bet it's not the first time he's said that).
...for a reason he said he is not even sure of, he took off running toward their room. He guesses that as he "kept truckin' " down the hallway, he "must have thought there was more hallway." (Another hallway? As he was running towards the reflection, wouldn't it look like another man with the same clothes on was running towards him?)
And here's my favorite:
Hanson's reflections in recent weeks have been frequent, though he still doesn't know why this happened. Maybe it will come to him when he gets on his motorcycle again. Or maybe, he said, the episode is a sign that he should cut back on drinking. (Gee, Josh, if crashing through a plate glass window and freefalling 17 stories is not THE sign to cut back on drinking, I'm not sure what else to tell you). Now, don't get me wrong here. I wish Hanson the best. Also, I'm sure that I've done a few things in my life that I'm glad weren't videotaped. On top of that, I don't think this incident "takes the cake." That story belongs to two guys from - EAU CLAIRE, WISCONSIN.
I cannot do this story justice, so I am going to once again rely on the Star Tribune's coverage of the event. Here goes:
EAU CLAIRE, Wis. — Attempts to duplicate a movie stunt landed one man in the hospital with burned genitals and another facing criminal charges. The men were trying to do a stunt from one of the "Jackass'' movies, in which a character lights his genitals on fire. Jared W. Anderson, 20, suffered serious burns to his hands and genitals, according to the criminal complaint. Randell D. Peterson, 43, who sprayed lighter fluid on Anderson and lit him on fire, was charged with felony battery and first-degree reckless endangerment Tuesday in Eau Claire County Court. Witnesses told police that Anderson, who was drunk, volunteered to do the stunt Sunday after watching the movie, the complaint said.
After Peterson ignited Anderson, he ran into the bathroom, jumped into the tub and put the flames out, according to the complaint. He was taken to Luther Hospital, and eventually treated at the Regions Hospital Burn Unit in St. Paul, Minn., for second-degree burns.
Anderson told police that he didn't want anyone to get in trouble because of the stunt.
Peterson was freed on a $2,000 bond. He has a hearing scheduled April 16. If convicted, he faces up to 10 years in prison.
Why do they have to be from Wisconsin? Why do they have to be from Eau Claire? Couldn't they, just once, be from Kansas? I knew, however, after I read Attempts to duplicate a movie stunt... that they were from Wisconsin. Let's start with one dude being 20 and the other 43. That is weird enough right there. Next, after a night of schweiling and "movie watching," one guy volunteers to pull down his pants, have lighter fluid sprayed on His Boys, and then light the fluid on fire.
I can honestly say that I have never, ever drank enough to where I've have thought "maybe lighting my penis on fire would be fun." Never. And even if I did, I would not let any of my buddies light the match (sorry Jase).
I've got to think some stupid stuff is going on in Iowa, or the Dakota's for God sakes. Please, somebody in those states, get drunk and do something dumb. Just make sure someone has a camera. We've filled our quota in Wisconsin.
Peace,
Jeff
When these events involving alcohol happen, why are all of these people invariably from Wisconsin? Well, I can tell you one thing - people there like to drink. There are things in life that are fun, but the common way of thinking in WI is "wouldn't this be more fun if we were drinking?" For instance, golf, fishing, attending sporting events, eating, archery, bowling, darts, Foosball, mowing the lawn, shoveling, painting, etc., can be more fun if you are drinking.
In addition, certain things that would not be fun while not drinking, suddenly become "a good idea." Take, for instance, lighting a cop car on fire. Or streaking. Or inciting a riot. These are things that a normal, sober human being would have no interest in become involved with. However, have a few belts on an empty stomach, and the next thing you know you're running naked through the streets with plumes of smoke rising behind you and sirens are wailing in the background. I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about. This leads me to the latest "incidents" that have been in the news. Let's start with the gentleman from Blair, WI who fell 17 stories and survived.
Josh Hanson, 29, was recently in Minneapolis with a buddy to attend an annual Midwest dart tournament (of course). According to a report in the Star Tribune, Josh and his friend peered out of the window in the hallway on the 17th floor of his downtown Minneapolis hotel and remarked that it was a pretty frickin' long way down. Then, they proceeded to play darts and drink a beer or 27 throughout the day. They returned back to the hotel that night, and I'll just let the Star Tribune tell what happened next:
"When they returned to the Hyatt, they took an elevator up. Once the doors opened, for a reason he said he is not even sure of, he took off running toward their room. He guesses that as he "kept truckin' " down the hallway, he "must have thought there was more hallway." He's grateful he can't recall smashing into the window, freefalling through the air or crashing onto a roof overhang. After being treated for a collapsed lung and cuts, he emerged from the hospital with a rod holding together his right leg."
Wow, bummer. Can you imagine falling 17 stories and living? Pretty amazing. Ever since this event, Hanson has been contacted by media outlets worldwide to tell the tale. The Star Tribune managed to track him down at the bar he owns, Heinie's, in Blair, WI (pause here for irony). Here are some of the other snippets from the interview he granted the newspaper:
As for the memories, they are sketchy. "I can't distinguish between what I remember and what people have told me," he said. (I bet it's not the first time he's said that).
...for a reason he said he is not even sure of, he took off running toward their room. He guesses that as he "kept truckin' " down the hallway, he "must have thought there was more hallway." (Another hallway? As he was running towards the reflection, wouldn't it look like another man with the same clothes on was running towards him?)
And here's my favorite:
Hanson's reflections in recent weeks have been frequent, though he still doesn't know why this happened. Maybe it will come to him when he gets on his motorcycle again. Or maybe, he said, the episode is a sign that he should cut back on drinking. (Gee, Josh, if crashing through a plate glass window and freefalling 17 stories is not THE sign to cut back on drinking, I'm not sure what else to tell you). Now, don't get me wrong here. I wish Hanson the best. Also, I'm sure that I've done a few things in my life that I'm glad weren't videotaped. On top of that, I don't think this incident "takes the cake." That story belongs to two guys from - EAU CLAIRE, WISCONSIN.
I cannot do this story justice, so I am going to once again rely on the Star Tribune's coverage of the event. Here goes:
EAU CLAIRE, Wis. — Attempts to duplicate a movie stunt landed one man in the hospital with burned genitals and another facing criminal charges. The men were trying to do a stunt from one of the "Jackass'' movies, in which a character lights his genitals on fire. Jared W. Anderson, 20, suffered serious burns to his hands and genitals, according to the criminal complaint. Randell D. Peterson, 43, who sprayed lighter fluid on Anderson and lit him on fire, was charged with felony battery and first-degree reckless endangerment Tuesday in Eau Claire County Court. Witnesses told police that Anderson, who was drunk, volunteered to do the stunt Sunday after watching the movie, the complaint said.
After Peterson ignited Anderson, he ran into the bathroom, jumped into the tub and put the flames out, according to the complaint. He was taken to Luther Hospital, and eventually treated at the Regions Hospital Burn Unit in St. Paul, Minn., for second-degree burns.
Anderson told police that he didn't want anyone to get in trouble because of the stunt.
Peterson was freed on a $2,000 bond. He has a hearing scheduled April 16. If convicted, he faces up to 10 years in prison.
Why do they have to be from Wisconsin? Why do they have to be from Eau Claire? Couldn't they, just once, be from Kansas? I knew, however, after I read Attempts to duplicate a movie stunt... that they were from Wisconsin. Let's start with one dude being 20 and the other 43. That is weird enough right there. Next, after a night of schweiling and "movie watching," one guy volunteers to pull down his pants, have lighter fluid sprayed on His Boys, and then light the fluid on fire.
I can honestly say that I have never, ever drank enough to where I've have thought "maybe lighting my penis on fire would be fun." Never. And even if I did, I would not let any of my buddies light the match (sorry Jase).
I've got to think some stupid stuff is going on in Iowa, or the Dakota's for God sakes. Please, somebody in those states, get drunk and do something dumb. Just make sure someone has a camera. We've filled our quota in Wisconsin.
Peace,
Jeff
Thursday, March 8, 2007
Pond Scum
My sons are getting to the age where we really have to be careful about what they are watching on television. Half of the shows that are on at night would have been rated R when I was a kid. The CSI shows would have sent me into therapy if they were on during my formative years back in the 1970's. "In Search Of" freaked me out for flips sake. Thank God for Three's Company (more on that in another post). There is one show, however, that I will do anything to shield my kids from. It is called:
The evening news.
I swear I'd rather have my kids watch the Saw trilogy than the evening news. At least I could tell my kids that Saw I, II & III are "just stories." I watch the news, and I say "ahhh...that was just down the block." One good thing about the news - if you ever want to feel good about yourself, just turn on the news for countless examples of idiocy. The stories will make you feel like a combination of Einstein and Mother Theresa. Take the latest example of the so-called "parents" of the conjoined twins in Mankato, Minnesota. I use the term "parents" loosely, as you will see as this post develops.
To provide some background on this story, the twins were born back on November 9th by Cesarean. They were born face to face, and shared intestines and a bladder. Two months ago, the twins were separated at the Mayo clinic in a delicate procedure performed by a highly skilled medical team. Both the birth and surgery were "highly traumatic," according to reports. One of the boys is still at the Mayo clinic in Rochester, where doctors continue to care for him. The other boy was released from the Mayo on January 3rd, and allowed to stay with his "mother" and "father" (once again, I use the term loosely) at the Ronald McDonald house. Now - get this - the Olmstead County attorney's office has charged the twins parents, Robert Heck and Valerie James with felony first degree assault on the child.
Let's pause to reflect on those last words, and give my blood-pressure a chance to come back down a little.
Here is some more information from today's article in the St. Paul Pioneer Press:
"Complaints filed Monday and made public Tuesday allege the baby cried out Jan. 11 when the emergency room doctor at St. Mary's Hospital in Rochester touched or moved his thighs, knees or ankles. An X-ray that day showed eight leg fractures, which the radiologist concluded were about seven days old, and 16 rib fractures, apparently more recent, the complaint states. Interviewed separately by an investigator, James and Heck said they were the only two adults caring for Jordan after his release from Mayo, and each denied knowing how the baby's bones were broken, according to the complaint. Both suggested the injuries could have been caused by the infant's car seat, police investigator Sherry Bush said."
The car seat? What was the car seat strapped to - the bumper? I'm not trying to be funny here, folks. This story makes me so mad that I am actually shaking while typing this. According to the report, a Mayo pediatrician remarked that "in his 30 years of practice he has never seen a baby with this number of fractures." The article goes on to say:
"After his release Jan. 3 from the Mayo Clinic, the baby, Jordan, his parents and sister Jayden, a toddler, stayed at the Ronald McDonald House in Rochester while waiting for his twin to become healthy enough to be discharged. Another Ronald McDonald House resident reported to investigators that on Jan. 10, the day before Jordan's parents sought emergency care for him, a man in the family's room was heard yelling, "Stop it, stop it. I have had it. That's enough. … Knock it off." In between the yelling, a child could be heard whimpering, the complaint says."
This jack-ass was screaming at the baby (and who knows what else) at THE RONALD MCDONALD HOUSE??? Now, I know we live in a county where a person is considered "innocent until proven guilty." There is some history here, however. I hope all of you are sitting down for this next part. The "father" has been accused of this type of behavior..........in the past:
"A former girlfriend filed an order for protection against Heck in 2004, according to the complaint filed this week. The woman alleged Heck injured her three children, ages 3 months to 3 years. Injuries described in the protection order included bruises, a leg fracture sustained by an 18-month-old and cigarette burns on the 3-month-old's fingers, according to the complaint."
OK. Let's think about this. I know it's been said a million times, but a person needs to buy a license to fish, but any moron can become a parent. And not just once - let's have more kids! Hey - the first three enrage me, but the fourth one will be different, RIGHT?
In addition, in my opinion, anyone who harms a defenseless child in any way (physical, emotional, etc.) is the lowest form of life on this earth and a Coward in the first degree. I feel very sorry for children who end up with parents like this through sheer chance - they have no say in the matter. Also, it never fails to amaze me the number of wonderful people who cannot have children for whatever reason, but shitheads like Robert Heck seem to have enough sperm for 100 people. And, wonderful parents like mine - Dewey and LaVonne - live relatively short lives because of health issues. Robert Heck? He'll live to be 120 - no question.
I will say this, and then it is time to move on. I would rather have my parents - Dewey and LaVonne - for one day of my life than have Robert Heck as my father for 100 years.
Peace,
Jeff
The evening news.
I swear I'd rather have my kids watch the Saw trilogy than the evening news. At least I could tell my kids that Saw I, II & III are "just stories." I watch the news, and I say "ahhh...that was just down the block." One good thing about the news - if you ever want to feel good about yourself, just turn on the news for countless examples of idiocy. The stories will make you feel like a combination of Einstein and Mother Theresa. Take the latest example of the so-called "parents" of the conjoined twins in Mankato, Minnesota. I use the term "parents" loosely, as you will see as this post develops.
To provide some background on this story, the twins were born back on November 9th by Cesarean. They were born face to face, and shared intestines and a bladder. Two months ago, the twins were separated at the Mayo clinic in a delicate procedure performed by a highly skilled medical team. Both the birth and surgery were "highly traumatic," according to reports. One of the boys is still at the Mayo clinic in Rochester, where doctors continue to care for him. The other boy was released from the Mayo on January 3rd, and allowed to stay with his "mother" and "father" (once again, I use the term loosely) at the Ronald McDonald house. Now - get this - the Olmstead County attorney's office has charged the twins parents, Robert Heck and Valerie James with felony first degree assault on the child.
Let's pause to reflect on those last words, and give my blood-pressure a chance to come back down a little.
Here is some more information from today's article in the St. Paul Pioneer Press:
"Complaints filed Monday and made public Tuesday allege the baby cried out Jan. 11 when the emergency room doctor at St. Mary's Hospital in Rochester touched or moved his thighs, knees or ankles. An X-ray that day showed eight leg fractures, which the radiologist concluded were about seven days old, and 16 rib fractures, apparently more recent, the complaint states. Interviewed separately by an investigator, James and Heck said they were the only two adults caring for Jordan after his release from Mayo, and each denied knowing how the baby's bones were broken, according to the complaint. Both suggested the injuries could have been caused by the infant's car seat, police investigator Sherry Bush said."
The car seat? What was the car seat strapped to - the bumper? I'm not trying to be funny here, folks. This story makes me so mad that I am actually shaking while typing this. According to the report, a Mayo pediatrician remarked that "in his 30 years of practice he has never seen a baby with this number of fractures." The article goes on to say:
"After his release Jan. 3 from the Mayo Clinic, the baby, Jordan, his parents and sister Jayden, a toddler, stayed at the Ronald McDonald House in Rochester while waiting for his twin to become healthy enough to be discharged. Another Ronald McDonald House resident reported to investigators that on Jan. 10, the day before Jordan's parents sought emergency care for him, a man in the family's room was heard yelling, "Stop it, stop it. I have had it. That's enough. … Knock it off." In between the yelling, a child could be heard whimpering, the complaint says."
This jack-ass was screaming at the baby (and who knows what else) at THE RONALD MCDONALD HOUSE??? Now, I know we live in a county where a person is considered "innocent until proven guilty." There is some history here, however. I hope all of you are sitting down for this next part. The "father" has been accused of this type of behavior..........in the past:
"A former girlfriend filed an order for protection against Heck in 2004, according to the complaint filed this week. The woman alleged Heck injured her three children, ages 3 months to 3 years. Injuries described in the protection order included bruises, a leg fracture sustained by an 18-month-old and cigarette burns on the 3-month-old's fingers, according to the complaint."
OK. Let's think about this. I know it's been said a million times, but a person needs to buy a license to fish, but any moron can become a parent. And not just once - let's have more kids! Hey - the first three enrage me, but the fourth one will be different, RIGHT?
In addition, in my opinion, anyone who harms a defenseless child in any way (physical, emotional, etc.) is the lowest form of life on this earth and a Coward in the first degree. I feel very sorry for children who end up with parents like this through sheer chance - they have no say in the matter. Also, it never fails to amaze me the number of wonderful people who cannot have children for whatever reason, but shitheads like Robert Heck seem to have enough sperm for 100 people. And, wonderful parents like mine - Dewey and LaVonne - live relatively short lives because of health issues. Robert Heck? He'll live to be 120 - no question.
I will say this, and then it is time to move on. I would rather have my parents - Dewey and LaVonne - for one day of my life than have Robert Heck as my father for 100 years.
Peace,
Jeff
Sunday, March 4, 2007
Best In the Business?!
I wasn't even planning on writing tonight, but once in a while something comes along that is so ridiculous that it begs for a comment. Forbes Magazine has published an article in which they name the top General Managers in professional sports. I'm just going to cut to the chase on this one. Who do you think was #1? The answer is:
Kevin McHale.
Yes, Kevin McHale, the General Manager of the Minnesota Timberwolves NBA basketball squad. Just so you don't think I'm making this up, here is the article:
http://www.forbes.com/business/2007/03/02/sports-greatest-gms-biz-cz_jg_0302gms.html
OK, breath Jeff. Am I in a parallel universe right now? Nope - I just checked and my garage still needs painting - same universe. Kevin McHale is the BEST General Manager in all of PROFESSIONAL SPORTS, according to the report. Now, I always considered Forbes to be a respectable, reputable magazine. It's not as if Maxim, or Oui magazine ran this article. I'm going to try and run through some positives and negatives in McHale's career that may have led to this honor.
Positives:
1. Drafting Kevin Garnett in 1995.
2. Ahhhhhhh.........
Negatives:
1. All other draft picks. Here we go - Paul Grant (Round 1, 1997), Rasho Nesterovic (Round 1, 1998), William Avery (Round 1, 1999). Taking Ndudi Ebi (Ndudi Ebi!) over Josh Howard in the 2nd round of 2003 (no 1st round pick) . Oddly enough, no 1st round pick in 2004, but McHale took Blake Stepp in round two.
2. Virtually all trades. Actually acquired Michael Olowokandi, possibly the worst 7-footer to ever play the game, and gave him a CONTRACT EXTENSION before trading him to Boston. In the multi-player trade with Boston, gave THEM a first round pick. Traded Sam Cassell to the Clippers for Marco Jaric and gave THEM a first round pick. The Wolves have no first round picks now until around 2015. But the Clippers threw Lionel Chalmers in the trade, who I think is working at Wendy's now.
3. I'm not even going to mention the Joe Smith fiasco because I think Glen Taylor is more to blame (just barely). And there is the Stephon Marbury deal. Marbury is more to blame for that mess, because he's crazy. Also, along the way, McHale lost Chauncy Billups to Detroit, who later became a League MVP. He let Billips go to keep Troy Hudson on the roster, who has not become a League MVP, but has kept several orthopedic surgeons in business.
4. Signed and then RE-signed perpetually in-trouble Eddie Griffin to a long-term contract. The upside to this is that Griffin is quite a movie buff. Unfortunately, he likes to watch "certain" movies while driving his SUV into gas stations.
5. Hiring/Firing coaches. Not enough time to go into all of the detail on this, but let's just say we're on our 4th head coach in the last 3 years. Enough said.
What criteria did Forbes use to come up with this ranking, you may ask? Well, it turns out that "Overall winning percentage compared to the three years before the General Manager arrived" is one huge factor. Now, before McHale, the Timberwolves were run by Sargent Schultz of Hogan's Heroes fame, and they were horrible. I will give McHale credit - they did have some nice regular seasons after he arrived, and even some 50-win seasons. One problem with this is that they lost in the first round of the playoffs seven straight times. Not even Denny Green can claim that type of playoff futility. They had one nice run in the playoffs in 2003/2004 in which they made the Western Conference Finals before losing to the LA Lakers. This is after picking up Sam Cassell and Latrell Sprewell. Through no fault of McHale, they later lost Sprewell because he turned down a $7 million a year contract offer. He was quoted as saying "he's got a family to feed." Once again, the Four Horseman are mounting up.
The saddest thing about this whole list is the gentleman coming in at #53. Terry Ryan of the Minnesota Twins. Ryan works on a shoestring budget that is 1/3 the amount of some other baseball teams and they play in one of the worst venues in the league. However, through outstanding drafts, trades, and intelligently deciding who to keep and let go, Ryan (along with Ron Gardenhire) has steered the Twins to 4 division championships in 5 years. The Twins have had 2 managers since 1987. And he's number 53 on the list. By the way, Doug Risebrough of the Minnesota Wild comes in a #88, but Doug MacLean of the Columbus Blue Jackets is listed at #52. That's actually funny. Just in case you want to see the list, here it is:
http://www.forbes.com/business/2007/03/02/sports-greatest-gms-biz-cz_jg_0302gms_2.html
I'm still thinking I'm in a parallel universe. Nope, dishes need washing - same universe.
Jeff
Kevin McHale.
Yes, Kevin McHale, the General Manager of the Minnesota Timberwolves NBA basketball squad. Just so you don't think I'm making this up, here is the article:
http://www.forbes.com/business/2007/03/02/sports-greatest-gms-biz-cz_jg_0302gms.html
OK, breath Jeff. Am I in a parallel universe right now? Nope - I just checked and my garage still needs painting - same universe. Kevin McHale is the BEST General Manager in all of PROFESSIONAL SPORTS, according to the report. Now, I always considered Forbes to be a respectable, reputable magazine. It's not as if Maxim, or Oui magazine ran this article. I'm going to try and run through some positives and negatives in McHale's career that may have led to this honor.
Positives:
1. Drafting Kevin Garnett in 1995.
2. Ahhhhhhh.........
Negatives:
1. All other draft picks. Here we go - Paul Grant (Round 1, 1997), Rasho Nesterovic (Round 1, 1998), William Avery (Round 1, 1999). Taking Ndudi Ebi (Ndudi Ebi!) over Josh Howard in the 2nd round of 2003 (no 1st round pick) . Oddly enough, no 1st round pick in 2004, but McHale took Blake Stepp in round two.
2. Virtually all trades. Actually acquired Michael Olowokandi, possibly the worst 7-footer to ever play the game, and gave him a CONTRACT EXTENSION before trading him to Boston. In the multi-player trade with Boston, gave THEM a first round pick. Traded Sam Cassell to the Clippers for Marco Jaric and gave THEM a first round pick. The Wolves have no first round picks now until around 2015. But the Clippers threw Lionel Chalmers in the trade, who I think is working at Wendy's now.
3. I'm not even going to mention the Joe Smith fiasco because I think Glen Taylor is more to blame (just barely). And there is the Stephon Marbury deal. Marbury is more to blame for that mess, because he's crazy. Also, along the way, McHale lost Chauncy Billups to Detroit, who later became a League MVP. He let Billips go to keep Troy Hudson on the roster, who has not become a League MVP, but has kept several orthopedic surgeons in business.
4. Signed and then RE-signed perpetually in-trouble Eddie Griffin to a long-term contract. The upside to this is that Griffin is quite a movie buff. Unfortunately, he likes to watch "certain" movies while driving his SUV into gas stations.
5. Hiring/Firing coaches. Not enough time to go into all of the detail on this, but let's just say we're on our 4th head coach in the last 3 years. Enough said.
What criteria did Forbes use to come up with this ranking, you may ask? Well, it turns out that "Overall winning percentage compared to the three years before the General Manager arrived" is one huge factor. Now, before McHale, the Timberwolves were run by Sargent Schultz of Hogan's Heroes fame, and they were horrible. I will give McHale credit - they did have some nice regular seasons after he arrived, and even some 50-win seasons. One problem with this is that they lost in the first round of the playoffs seven straight times. Not even Denny Green can claim that type of playoff futility. They had one nice run in the playoffs in 2003/2004 in which they made the Western Conference Finals before losing to the LA Lakers. This is after picking up Sam Cassell and Latrell Sprewell. Through no fault of McHale, they later lost Sprewell because he turned down a $7 million a year contract offer. He was quoted as saying "he's got a family to feed." Once again, the Four Horseman are mounting up.
The saddest thing about this whole list is the gentleman coming in at #53. Terry Ryan of the Minnesota Twins. Ryan works on a shoestring budget that is 1/3 the amount of some other baseball teams and they play in one of the worst venues in the league. However, through outstanding drafts, trades, and intelligently deciding who to keep and let go, Ryan (along with Ron Gardenhire) has steered the Twins to 4 division championships in 5 years. The Twins have had 2 managers since 1987. And he's number 53 on the list. By the way, Doug Risebrough of the Minnesota Wild comes in a #88, but Doug MacLean of the Columbus Blue Jackets is listed at #52. That's actually funny. Just in case you want to see the list, here it is:
http://www.forbes.com/business/2007/03/02/sports-greatest-gms-biz-cz_jg_0302gms_2.html
I'm still thinking I'm in a parallel universe. Nope, dishes need washing - same universe.
Jeff
Friday, March 2, 2007
The Revenge of Paul Douglas
Wow. That's the last time I mock a weatherman. Last week, we were receiving dire warnings about a major snowstorm that was going hit the Twin Cities on a Friday night and last through the following Sunday. Now, when this happens the anchorpeople warn you to go out and stock up on canned goods, bottled water and flares. As if this is a new occurrence in Minnesota. Then, when the "weather event" is supposed to hit, the front mysteriously moves south and we get flurries.
You can imagine my glee when I woke up on Saturday morning to see absolutely no snow whatsoever. I swear I saw robin's gathering twigs for their spring nests. I sarcastically called both of my sisters and my neighbor Dan to see if they were still alive, and if I needed to hook up the sled dogs to bring them supplies. I spent the better part of the morning mocking Belinda Jensen and Sven Svengaaaaaaard (channel 11), Dave Dahl (channel 5) and especially Paul Douglas (Chanel #4). P DUG is especially easy to mock because of his toupee. A few years back he took a job in Chicago and was bald when he left. He decided to return to the Twin Cities - with a full head of hair! But, that's another story. But, as long as I'm on the subject, it also his "catch phrases" kind of bug me too. "Dim sun." "Enough snow to shovel and plow (which is anything over 1/8th inch). Anyway, I digress.
As soon as I hung up the phone with my neighbor Dan, it started to snow. At the same time, my wife left for her annual Mommy's Conference weekend, not to return 'till Monday morning. It then proceeded to snow for 24 hours straight and we received 13.5 inches. I bring up the part about my wife leaving because she usually does an outstanding job helping me out with the shoveling. Now - she was GONE. Luckily , this snowstorm occurred on the weekend, so I didn't have to worry about digging early so I could get to THE CHECK. Also, I happen to have two snow blowers - my right arm and my left arm. I actually have a broken snow blower in the garage that my friend Sean sold me about 7 years ago. It got a broken calancifer or gambdieran or something, however. I spent the entire day shoveling and felt like I was going to die the next couple of days. Now that I've turned the big 4-0, I'm not as nimble and limber as I used to be.
Just when my back and legs and arms and neck started to feel better, I turned on the news and there was Paul Douglas, with a little smirk (and toupee), saying that another system was moving in on Wednesday. This system could "give us enough snow to shovel and plow." It will maybe even be bigger than the first system. Oh, crap. No more sled dog jokes this time.
Sure enough, Wednesday rolled around and it started to snow. It's now Friday night, and 15 inches later, it is still snowing. Thats around 29 inches of snow in less than a week. We've shoveled about six times and my back and neck and legs and arms hurt again and it just keeps coming down. THE CHECK closed at 3:30 on Thursday, for God sakes! That's unheard of!
Damn you, Paul Douglas! I didn't mean it about the flares! Your toupee is really quite nice! Stop it! I checked the snow plow in the garage and the calancifier did not fix itself (in reality, it's probably out of gas).
I realize what has happened here. We are actually having a typical Minnesota winter, and I have gotten "soft." Because of global warming and George Bush, I have gotten used to the wimpy winters. Remember when you were a kid and the snow drifts were above your head - all the time? Granted, your head was lower, but it was still a hell of a lot of snow. Remember walking to school (it was never, ever closed) uphill both ways in the snow? The last few years, if the forecast calls for over 3 inches there are news crews reporting live from Highway overpasses warning of impending doom. What has happened?
I can even bring a stadium angle into this (which I can do in any conversation regardless of original topic). Remember when the Vikings used to play outside, and all of the hearty souls wore snowmobile suits and brought bottles of whiskey to stay warm (even the kids)? Everyone loved it. Then came the Dome. Might as well be playing in your living room. Now, because of global warming, any talk of a new outdoor stadium is met with "it would be so cooooooolllldddddd!!"
We've gotten soft. I must admit, I was getting quite used to the easy winters. It got to the point that I didn't even keep a scraper in my car. The "Inconvenient Truth" here is that warmer winters with less snow was actually quite nice! Take that Al Gore! I don't see you out there shoveling this crap.
Anyway, it's finally stopped snowing, and I have some flares that I need to shoot off and some canned goods to feed to the sled dogs.
Peace,
Jeff
You can imagine my glee when I woke up on Saturday morning to see absolutely no snow whatsoever. I swear I saw robin's gathering twigs for their spring nests. I sarcastically called both of my sisters and my neighbor Dan to see if they were still alive, and if I needed to hook up the sled dogs to bring them supplies. I spent the better part of the morning mocking Belinda Jensen and Sven Svengaaaaaaard (channel 11), Dave Dahl (channel 5) and especially Paul Douglas (Chanel #4). P DUG is especially easy to mock because of his toupee. A few years back he took a job in Chicago and was bald when he left. He decided to return to the Twin Cities - with a full head of hair! But, that's another story. But, as long as I'm on the subject, it also his "catch phrases" kind of bug me too. "Dim sun." "Enough snow to shovel and plow (which is anything over 1/8th inch). Anyway, I digress.
As soon as I hung up the phone with my neighbor Dan, it started to snow. At the same time, my wife left for her annual Mommy's Conference weekend, not to return 'till Monday morning. It then proceeded to snow for 24 hours straight and we received 13.5 inches. I bring up the part about my wife leaving because she usually does an outstanding job helping me out with the shoveling. Now - she was GONE. Luckily , this snowstorm occurred on the weekend, so I didn't have to worry about digging early so I could get to THE CHECK. Also, I happen to have two snow blowers - my right arm and my left arm. I actually have a broken snow blower in the garage that my friend Sean sold me about 7 years ago. It got a broken calancifer or gambdieran or something, however. I spent the entire day shoveling and felt like I was going to die the next couple of days. Now that I've turned the big 4-0, I'm not as nimble and limber as I used to be.
Just when my back and legs and arms and neck started to feel better, I turned on the news and there was Paul Douglas, with a little smirk (and toupee), saying that another system was moving in on Wednesday. This system could "give us enough snow to shovel and plow." It will maybe even be bigger than the first system. Oh, crap. No more sled dog jokes this time.
Sure enough, Wednesday rolled around and it started to snow. It's now Friday night, and 15 inches later, it is still snowing. Thats around 29 inches of snow in less than a week. We've shoveled about six times and my back and neck and legs and arms hurt again and it just keeps coming down. THE CHECK closed at 3:30 on Thursday, for God sakes! That's unheard of!
Damn you, Paul Douglas! I didn't mean it about the flares! Your toupee is really quite nice! Stop it! I checked the snow plow in the garage and the calancifier did not fix itself (in reality, it's probably out of gas).
I realize what has happened here. We are actually having a typical Minnesota winter, and I have gotten "soft." Because of global warming and George Bush, I have gotten used to the wimpy winters. Remember when you were a kid and the snow drifts were above your head - all the time? Granted, your head was lower, but it was still a hell of a lot of snow. Remember walking to school (it was never, ever closed) uphill both ways in the snow? The last few years, if the forecast calls for over 3 inches there are news crews reporting live from Highway overpasses warning of impending doom. What has happened?
I can even bring a stadium angle into this (which I can do in any conversation regardless of original topic). Remember when the Vikings used to play outside, and all of the hearty souls wore snowmobile suits and brought bottles of whiskey to stay warm (even the kids)? Everyone loved it. Then came the Dome. Might as well be playing in your living room. Now, because of global warming, any talk of a new outdoor stadium is met with "it would be so cooooooolllldddddd!!"
We've gotten soft. I must admit, I was getting quite used to the easy winters. It got to the point that I didn't even keep a scraper in my car. The "Inconvenient Truth" here is that warmer winters with less snow was actually quite nice! Take that Al Gore! I don't see you out there shoveling this crap.
Anyway, it's finally stopped snowing, and I have some flares that I need to shoot off and some canned goods to feed to the sled dogs.
Peace,
Jeff
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