Wednesday, May 26, 2010

A Question

Before I start Yankee rant #126, I have one question. If the Devil, a.k.a Satan, followed one professional sports team, who would it be? It would be the New York Yankees. We all know in our heart that this is true. I defy anyone to bring up another team in any sport that is even close. I mean, who would it be? The Buffalo Bills? Anyway....

The Yankees ability to beat the Twins by one run is one of the most uncanny phenomenons that I have ever witnessed in sports. Each game, there is a turn of events that occurrs that leaves the viewing thinking that they have seen the pinnacle of evil. Then, that event is one-upped within 24-hours in the next game. People say that the Yankees are "a few players" better than the Twins club, which explains the close losses. That is too simplistic an explanation for what we is taking place right now.

There is some kind of voodoo going on here. This is other-worldly.

I find myself calling for some sort of karmic justice during these games. Some sort of cosmic equality. But there is none. (By the way, Yankees, nice move warming up Andy Pettitte in the 9th inning and then pulling him before he faces a batter so Mariano Rivera has more time to get loose. Legal, but a real ass-hole move. Bush-league.)

It almost makes a person wonder if the "Great Equalizer" is coming at some unknown time down the line. After what has taken place over the past couple of years, that Great Equalizer would have to be pretty big, like knocking off the Yankees in the AL Championship series or new Yankee stadium having a mold issue and needing to be torn down. Something has to give, right? Right???

And then again, maybe not.

Jeff

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Some Things Never Change

Here are a couple of tidbits that were in the news this morning. I was glad that I was sitting down when I heard both:

1. Carlos Gomez does something stupid. Before we begin, I would like to say that I always kind of liked Carlos Gomez when he was with the Twins. He seems to be a nice guy, tries hard, has a good sense of humor. The ongoing problem with Gomez, however, and the issue that got him traded from the Twins is that he is utterly clueless. While his effort was never questioned, he had issues with base running, throwing to the correct base, hitting the cutoff man, etc. It was the "little league stuff" that got Gomez in trouble with the Twins coaching staff and he was traded to Milwaukee for J.J. Hardy.

Now, last night, Carlos Gomez happened to hit a three run home run against pitcher Nick Blackburn and the Twins. When this occurred, Gomez flipped the bat high in the air (and the bat happened to hit catcher Joe Mauer) and he admired the blast from the confines of the batters box before leaving on his home run trot. The problem with this, however, is that the score of the contest at the time was Twins - 15, Brewers - zero. The Gomez blast brought the Brewers within a touchdown, a field goal and a safety. Not really the time to be showing a team up.

The Twins were a little pissed off about this after the game, but I think that they realized this was simply "Gomez being Gomez." There are concerns that the Twins might retaliate against Carlos today by beaning him. I doubt this will happen, however. Why bother? After all, if you bean Gomez, he might accidentally run to third base instead of first. It would just be an embarrassment for everybody involved.

As I have stated, St. Paul Pioneer Press columnist Tom Powers had the best description of Carlos Gomez that I have ever read. While praising his overall effort, Powers said that Gomez has "the same knowledge of the game of baseball as an Icelandic gradeschooler."

2. ESPN reports that Brett Favre has ankle surgery. WHAT!? Favre in the news??! It's not even football season! The reason that this is relevant is that (I think) it may be an indication that Favre intends to return to the Minnesota Vikings this fall. I know that the world is on pins and needles waiting for Favre to emerge from his palatial Mississippi estate with the final word on whether or not he intends to play. This, however, could be the most meaningful evidence to date that he really plans to play again in 2010.

But wait. There is one problem. The aforementioned surgery might cause Favre to miss the first few weeks of training camp. Check this out from today's Startribune report:

Sources told ESPN that Favre will need four to six weeks of rehabilitation before he starts a running program that would put him on schedule to report to training camp "either at the beginning of camp or shortly thereafter."

Genius. Pure genius. Who says Favre is not intelligent.

Some things never change.

Jeff

Friday, May 21, 2010

The Road Trip From Hell

Thankfully, it's done. The Minnesota Twins have completed their annual Road Trip From Hell for the 2010 campaign and they can now get on with the rest of the season. In case you were wondering, the so-called Road Trip From Hell happens to be through New York, Boston and Toronto. These are the stadiums in which the Twins often have little or no chance to win a game, let alone a series. Mercifully, the Twins only had to play Boston and Toronto twice this time around, and went 2-5 on the trip.

It could have been worse.

Now, the Twins have been a pretty good team over the past few years. They've won a couple of division titles and have been to the playoffs. But check out their records on The Road Trip From Hell since 2006:

At New York: 3 wins, 14 losses (2 losses in the playoffs)
At Boston: 4 wins, 10 losses
At Toronto: 4 wins, 11 losses

Folks, that is 11 and 35 over the past five seasons at those three ballparks. I really don't know how to explain this futility other than New York, Boston and (less so) Toronto usually have some very good teams that do not lose at home very often. I also believe that baseball is a psychological game and the Twins seem to be mentally beaten before they even walk into these parks. Pitching could also have something to do with it.

But, it's over for 2010, at least until the playoffs. The Twins can now concentrate on the Chicago's, Oakland's and Kansas City's of the world, as well as their annual trip trough the National League. Let's hope they do a little better than their record on the Road Trip From Hell.

Jeff

Friday, May 14, 2010

Sports Truths.

If you are a fan of Minnesota sports teams, there are certain truths that must be excepted if you want to live a long, healthy life. They are:

1. The Minnesota Vikings will never, ever win the Super Bowl.

2. The Minnesota Wild will never, ever be the North Stars.

3. The Minnesota Timberwolves will never, ever be relevant.

and

4. The Minnesota Twins will never, ever beat the New York Yankees.

Let's face the facts. The Twins would be better off forfeiting all of their games against the Yankees rather than run the risk of injury or fatigue. The Twins were 0-12 against the Yankees in 2009 and 0-1 so far in 2010. If they would have forfeited all of their games, they would have been 0-12 against the Yankees in 2009 and 0-1 so far in 2010.

If the Twins are lucky enough to make post-season play again in 2010, the only way they can hope to advance is for some other squad to knock off the Yankees. Otherwise, they have absolutely no chance in the world.

But, lest we forget, the Yankees do still serve as a metaphor for all that is wrong in human existence. I remain absolutely fascinated by the strike zone (or lack of) afforded to Alex Rodriguez. To say that his "strike zone" is the size of an American penny would be too gratuitous and an insult to the penny. After all, a penny is a perfectly round, non-changing, consistent, predictable shape. The so-called "strike-zone" that Alex Rodriguez supposedly adheres to is more of an ever-changing, microscopic, morphing amoeba, only to be found in the depths of either ocean so deep that surely no human being has ever visited. How this phenomenon has never been investigated is a crime in itself.

So there. I have that off my chest.

What did I say about baseball being a "calming" sport?

Jeff

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The National - High Violet

Every so often, a band comes along that strikes a cord in the soul. I've only had this happen a few times in my life. I'm talking about a band that seems to be speaking to YOU, and your condition at the exact time you are listening to their music. During these episodes, it's nearly impossible to play any other music. When this happens, it's generally hard for others to understand because they are probably not in the same "place" as you. They may be going through or have gone through the same experience with another band or a book or something. It's a fairly amazing experience. I feel a little sorry for people who have never had it happen to them. The only bands that have had this affect on me are:

U2 in the early 1980's (specifically Boy, October, War & The Unforgettable Fire).
The Beatles when I was in college.
The Replacements - ongoing.

And now there is a new one - The National. The trilogy of Alligator, Boxer and High Violet is a running commentary on the onset of middle age. That fact alone provides a lyrical similarity to my life. The experiences being explored often hit home, and they are not always comfortable. Here is what Ian Mathers of Pop Matters has to say about the themes of the National's lyrics over their past few albums:

For years now the National have been singing about the city and wine and girls and maybe growing up a little, and if Boxer saw them embracing the bittersweet sting of maturity and nostalgia, High Violet follows hard on its heels with a set of songs about New York and Ohio, about the terrible, undertow pull of a (gasp) settled, normal life, about being a little in love with melancholy but also being self-aware enough to realize that love is a little ridiculous and self-destructive. Becoming an adult is a slow processes that involves thinking that you’re not a certain kind of person, and then waking up one day and realizing that yeah, you are.....
It’s not that the National’s music (or its members’ lives, one hopes) are devoid of joy or levity, it’s that High Violet summons up perfectly and terribly the sneaking suspicion you start getting in your 20s that possibilities are closing off, that your life might not turn out the way you wanted it to, and that there’s probably no-one else to blame but yourself.

Deep stuff. And while you might be starting to worry about my current state of mind for being so into this so-called "melancholy" music, there is no need to worry. I find that the National do have the ability to be oddly uplifting. Much like The Smiths or Waterboys back in The Day, The National's music tends to "soar" at points and leave the listener feeling somewhat refreshed, even when the lyrics can tend to be kind of a downer. Here is an example of this, maybe my favorite track on the new album entitled "I'm Afraid of Everyone."

One of the troubles with The National, however, is that it generally takes multiple listens to their music to appreciate what is being accomplished. A reviewer who takes a few listens and writes an overview has probably missed the point. Since their new album High Violet was released, I have read many reviews ranging from "one of the best albums in decades" to "boring." The word "Masterpiece" has been thrown around a bit. That is the great thing about music - everyone has an opinion, but they are all from different "places." Nobody is right, nobody is wrong - it's just "where you are at." Anyway, one of the best reviews of the album that I read is from the BBC's Mike Diver:

Brooklyn’s The National are the absolute antithesis of an overnight success. Together for over a decade, the group’s slow ascent to international acclaim has been emotional. While several critics have clicked with albums of swollen heart and bruised soul, a handful have mistaken deliberate, delectable languor for dismissible listlessness. But those who’ve embraced Matt Berninger’s baritone, and subsequently each fascinating detail that trails in its wake, have discovered a band for life – for love and loss, euphoric highs and exhausting lows. For everything, always.

2005’s Alligator – its Daughters of the Soho Riots still empties the air from this listener’s lungs every time – marked the moment The National broke underground (2010 parlance: ‘blogosphere’) cover, and they’ve refined and arguably improved their output ever since. High Violet is the quintet’s fifth long-player proper (and highest of profile yet), following 2007’s excellent Boxer, and again features orchestral embellishments courtesy of Clogs’ Padma Newsome. It is being talked about in certain circles as a potential album of the year, but this is no release to shout about from the rooftops in the hope of attracting strangers. Its charms are subtle, its grip soft and easily shrugged by those who choose to pay it only passing attention. Live with it a while, though, and High Violet rewards patience with songs that colour one’s waking existence, becoming vivid night-time narratives when curtains are drawn.

Berninger’s lyrics, though tonally divisive, are incredibly engaging. He’s no Steinbeck, no Kerouac, despite endorsements from the most feverishly faithful; but his stories, delivered with wrenching sincerity, form the first point of entry for newcomers awaiting enlightenment. High Violet is an album characterised largely by absence, and displacement – of being someplace other than ideal. This extends from simple geography – the overseas lover of England’s vexed protagonist, the big-city claustrophobia of the luscious Little Faith – to the afterlife ruminations of Anyone’s Ghost, a song that blindsides with its switch from aloof coolness to an affecting concession of continued allegiance after death parts its players.

To the untrained (read: unfocused) ear, High Violet may sound pedestrian. But such drama lies in the richly textured nuances that this album ultimately plays like a movie you’d never dream of breaking from, whatever the reason. Set fire to the theatre and The National will play on, those who paid attention earlier again foregoing comfort for captivating beauty, until the final flames flicker into stillness.

So there you have it. That's where I'm at. Pick up High Violet and give it a listen (or thirty listens). It may (or may not) speak to you.

Jeff

Friday, May 7, 2010

Another First

I took the day off from THE CHECK today. I was all set to attend tonight's Twins game against the hated Orioles with CR, Tito Jackson and The Weeg. We were going to take the bus downtown (smart drunks) and have a few brewskis and the all-you-can-eat Friday fish fry at Glueks. Unfortunately, the Twin Cities has received rain of biblical proportions all day and it might......snow.......tonight. The game has officially been called. This means the Minnesota Twins will experience their first weather-postponed home baseball game since September 20th, 1980.

Now, you might think that I am a little bummed or outraged or homicidal about this, but I am not. This simply means that I have attended the first exhibition game at Target Field, the Home Opener at Target Field and technically the first rain-out. Plus, the game will be played Saturday night as part of a double-header, so we're basically just moving our plans 24-hours. Don't get me wrong - it's fairly ridiculous that is may snow in May, but what can you do?

Once this postponement was announced on the Strib's web site, it didn't take long for the anti-stadium Wing Nuts to start rubbing in the fact that there will be no game tonight. There were a few people stating that the rain was some sort of "Wrath" for building a ballpark and overlooking The Kids and stuff. Never mind that the vast majority of the games have been played in beautiful weather, which would seem to be evidence of Good Karma or something. But why mess with facts?

And then there is the roof crowd. There was quite a bit of lamenting the fact that Target Field does not have a retractable roof in the Strib comments section. Never mind the fact (there is that word again) that a retractable roof would have added a couple hundred million dollars to the financing plan, and many Legislators have stated that they would have voted against a Twins ballpark bill that would have been $750 million vs. $550 million. The bill most likely wouldn't have passed, and Minnesota wouldn't have to worry about rainouts, or baseball, at all. And speaking of homicidal, let's say Target Field DID have the retractable roof. I would have been able to go to the game tonight and watch INDOOR baseball, something I've been trying to avoid for the past two decades.

No thanks.

I'll simply wait 24 hours to bus downtown with the guys. The forecast for Saturday is cool, but sunny and clear, so I'll need my hat and coat and maybe one of those Snuggy things to pull over us. We'll be able to see the moon and stars and clouds and stuff. It'll be a good time.

But we will miss the Gluek's Friday fish fry. That's sort of a bummer.

Jeff

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Saturday Afternoon Thoughts

Here are a few things on my mind this afternoon:

1. Brett Favre News Lull Over. Does everyone remember Vikings Quarterback Brett Favre? He's been out of the news for a few weeks now, but do not fret because he's back. ESPN announced that Favre would require ankle surgery in order to play for the Vikings this fall. If he opts not to have surgery he might be forced to.............retire. Since the ESPN report aired, Favre himself has stated that the ankle surgery would be relatively minor, and should not prevent him from playing. Is this truly news? No. Bondo59, a blogger quoted in the StarTribune summed it up the best when he stated: "So, if he times it out perfect, Brett Favre should be ready about the third pre-season game."

Amen. That is all the people need to know.

2. Cleveland Indians Most Hated MLB Team. Speaking of ESPN, I recently came upon another report from the sports outlet quoting a report from the Nielson Company that "scientifically ranked" the most hated baseball teams. According to the ESPN report, The computer-generated program searched for positive and negative keywords in message boards and blogs to determine sentiment about baseball teams. According to Nielsen's website, "Positive scores indicate positive-leaning discussion and negative results indicate negative-leaning discussion."

Now, who would you guess would be the most-hated MLB baseball team? Ready...............

The Cleveland Indians.

Yes, the Cleveland Indians. Folks, this is simply the dumbest, most ridiculous thing that I have heard in years. How can the Indians be hated when they are virtually irrelevant? They haven't won anything in decades. Now, I do despise that God-forsaken drum that 3 or 4 fans (half the fans in attendance) beat during rallies, but that is not enough to make then #1 most hated team. I actually think that drum-beat thing is kind of funny when the Indians are trying to rally from 10 runs down in the 8th inning. Does this mean that the most hated football team is the Atlanta Falcons? The most hated hockey team the Nashville Predators? This is simply the dumbest thing that I have ever heard. Anyway, we all know who the most hated baseball team is.

3. Ruesse/Brackin Twins Book. Speaking of baseball, I've recently purchased "The Minnesota Twins - A Complete Illustrated History" by Dennis Brackin and Pat Ruesse. This is a fantastic overview of the Twins organization from Day 1 through the building of Target Field. Ruesse and Brackin can really spin a yarn, and there are some very funny stories of the early '60's, Metropolitan Stadium, the crazy (losing) '70's, Ron Davis, the World Series teams, etc. I highly recommend the book for any fan of the Twins.

One of my favorite stories involves the 1987 World Championship team and public address announcer Bob Casey. The point of the story was to illustrate how "loose" the '87 team was and how they liked to pick on Casey. Folks, the following took place during the deciding game 7 of the the 1987 World Series:

"In the interlude between half-innings, Twins players locked public address announcer Bob Casey in the tiny bathroom that was located off the dugout. One of the players ran to Casey's announcing booth and lathered his telephone earpiece and a nearly towel with shaving cream.

In short order the Twins were entertained by Casey's repeated shouts of "Let me out! Let me out!" followed by Casey coating his ear answering a supposed "emergency" phone call. Then Casey soaked his suit with shaving cream trying to wipe off his ear.

"I'm so nervous nervous I can hardly watch the game, much less participate in it, and they're thinking about locking Casey in the bathroom," said GM Andy MacPhail."

Very good stuff!