Life Lessons

Sometimes I struggle for topics to write about for this blog, and other times the posts write themselves. This is one of those times. I came across a great feature on msn.com in which famous men over the age of 50 were interviewed and asked to provide their "life lessons" learned throughout the years. These men are actors, rock stars, sports figures, owners of pornographic magazines, etc. In my opinion, some of these men come across as wise sages and others as jack asses. I am simply going to list some of their "pearls of wisdom" and let you decipher between the sages and the asses:

Tom Petty:
--I couldn't exist nowadays. I could never have built a career like I've had if I were just starting out now. Radio doesn't take a chance on anything anymore; they've streamlined the playlists to the lowest common denominator. It's really kind of silly that they think people would rather hear "Stairway to Heaven" one more time than a new song.

--I remember John Lennon saying, "Sid Vicious died for what? So that we might rock?" You've got to keep that in perspective. At the end of the day, they're just phonograph records.

--When you kill somebody's little sister with a missile, he's going to hate you forever. And the next generation will hate you even more.

--Do something you really like, and hopefully it pays the rent. As far as I'm concerned, that's success.

Hugh Hefner:
--What surprises me about getting older is that I remain so young. If you don't have a sense of humor about life and yourself, then you are old.

--Gloria Steinem said that a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. And now she's married to a wealthy guy. So what does that say to you?


Ozzy Osbourne:
--My problem is that by the time I understood a little bit about life, I was well on the way to f**king burnout.

--Back in the day, it was, "If you're going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some flowers in your hair." Where in the f**k was San Francisco? And the only flowers we ever saw in Aston were on a coffin going to a cemetery.

--I can't do anything in moderation. When I used to smoke, I smoked thirty Cohibas a day.

--What makes a good day for me? It's not picking up a drink or using any drugs. At this point, today.

--To be a liar, you've got to have a great memory, and I don't have a memory.

--You don't accidentally become an ass. It takes a bit of work.

Gene Simmons:

--Kiss is the number-one American band in gold-record sales. In the world, only the Beatles and the Stones are ahead of us. Every other band should be wiping my ass. The line forms over there to the left.

--I want more guys like Kurt Cobain and Jerry Garcia to become dried-up drug addicts and kill themselves. I totally defend all these rock stars' right to become heroin addicts and die. I want them all to die and get out of my way.

--"You can't buy love with money." Only a poor person says that.

--I think Christians are wrong. They're wrong because you're not judged by your actions, you're judged by your beliefs, which is to say that if you're Hitler and right before you die, you say, "Jesus, I'm sorry," you get a better chance of going to heaven than the millions of people you killed.

Neil Young (one of my favorite people):

--Yes, there was something good that came out of having polio as a kid. Walking.

--The wisest person I ever met had to be my companion in the hospital. I was recovering from complications after an operation to remove an aneurism in my brain. She was about eighty-five years old and maybe five feet tall. An old black lady from South Carolina. This young nurse wasn't really in touch with what she was doing, and the old lady would tell her how to do what she needed to do without telling her. She never talked down to her, just gave examples. I felt that this old woman must be deeply religious, but there was nothing forceful about her. I woke up one morning at a quarter to six and looked out the window. Fog was on the bridge outside the room, and I said, "Well, that's just beautiful." And she said: "Yes, it is." She turned toward me with this eighty-five-year-old face that didn't have a line on it, no strain, nothing, and she said: "So the master's not taking you. It's not your turn."

--When I was six, I really didn't know what God was. But I did know about Sunday school. I was reading a lot about God, but I was bored. I couldn't wait to get out of Sunday school. God was secondary to the whole thing. But as time went by, I got more and more angry, to the point where I didn't like religion. Hate is a strong word. But I just kept getting angrier and angrier . . . until finally I wasn't angry anymore. I was just peaceful, because I thought: This is not fruitful for me. I rejected the whole thing and found peace in paganism. Jesus didn't go to church. I went way back before Jesus. Back to the forest, to the wheat fields, to the river, to the ocean. I go where the wind is. That's my church.

--Maybe this is a little too thoughtful, but we're all just passengers in a way.

Keith Richards:

--So far, so good

--I've done a lot of dadding.

--Whoo, I tell you what -- it grows you up pretty quick when that little bugger starts waking up. Suddenly there's this little cute ball of stuff yelling its head off -- boom! Snap to! Oh, man, I better take care of this. Daughters are far easier to bring up. My first was Marlon, my son, and he gave me a good fight, man. He would drag my butt sometimes, before I could talk to him and instill the wisdom of not doing that.

--Poison's not bad. It's a matter of how much.

Forest Whitaker:

--The other night, I was walking down the stairs behind one of my daughters -- I have three, and one son, ages eight to sixteen. I was tired, and she was goofing around, you know, like kids do, doing all this stupid stuff on the stairs. And I was thinking, Please just go down the stairs and let's get you to bed. It's after your bedtime. I've had enough for one day. And then I sort of caught myself. I snapped out of it. I was like, Dude, you should be dancing down the stairs behind her!

--One of my greatest lessons in life came from my mom. When I told her I didn't want to go to church, she said, "You don't have to go to church, but you have to go somewhere. You have to believe in something."

And one of my favorites sayings from Warren Zevon:

...You better take the time to enjoy every sandwich.

Just some stuff to think about.

Peace,

Jeff