Bigfoot Press Conference

Did you see the Sasquatch press conference yesterday? I am sure you did. The two guys who claim to have a carcass of the stink-ape wanted to tell the world about it. Because all Bigfoot news is so huge, the press conference was streamed LIVE on cnn.com (did you think it wouldn't be?). I must say that there was nothing said or done or revealed at this press conference to lessen my skepticism. Here are a few notes that I jotted down:

**The two gentlemen that "found" the body in backwoods Georgia (kind of redundant), Matt Whitton and Rick Dyer, did not portray themselves as overly trustworthy. Now, I wasn't exactly expecting these guys to address the media with the skill of a White House Press Secretary or anything, but come on. Guys - could we not wear our camouflage baseball hats and hunting t-shirts for a half-hour? Could be put on a normal shirt with a collar and buttons - just for the nationally-broadcast press conference?

**One of the gentlemen, Matt Whitton, also goes by a second name - "Gary Parker." That is also rather odd. Why do most people take second names? Could it be that they are running, or hiding from something? Or lying about something?

**Check this tidbit out from the Star Tribune story:

"Efforts to reach Whitton and Dyer early Friday on their Bigfoot Tipline were unsuccessful. The voice mail recording says they have expanded their search to look for leprechauns and the Loch Ness monster. They also offer weekend expeditions to search for Bigfoot in the north Georgia mountains for $499."

Only $499?? Where do I sign up my family of five! And, Leprechauns. How can anybody think this is a hoax?

**Speaking of Georgia - got to hand it to the individual who left this comment regarding the story on the Star Tribune: That's a Georgia that the Russians should attack! Good one!

**Tom Biscardi, the self-described "Real Bigfoot Hunter" who has been searching for the creature of legend since 1971, came across as a carnival huckster. All he was missing was a top hat. And he kind of came across as an ass-hole who couldn't believe there might be some skepticism about this whole thing. He seemed quite appalled that the hundreds of reporters on hand might have a few questions about the alleged Sasquatch body.

**Did you see the photograph that Tom Biscardi presented as "further evidence" of the Sasquatch? It must have been hard to tie that rug and mask up in the trees like that. He promised more photographs to come. Oh, goody.

**We learned that tests were completed on three DNA samples by - get this - University of Minnesota scientist Curt Nelson. One test was inconclusive, one turned out to be human and the other oppossum. Human and oppossum. Gee, I wonder what the boys were having for dinner back in Georgia?

I don't know, folks. Stuff like this tarnishes the Sasquatch's otherwise spotless image.

Some day, the truth will be told. But probably not by Tom, Rick and Matt (Gary).

Jeff