Bandwagon Jumpers

The (truly) hated New York Yankees are in town this weekend to play the Twins. I'll probably take The Dudes to the game on Sunday. It's the Yankees, after all. The Yankees are arguably both the most-loved and most-hated professional franchise in sports. Each time I have attended a Twins-Yankees game at the Dome, I have been astounded by how many Yankees fans show up to root on their team. These fans must really love their Yankees to travel from New York to Minneapolis to attend the series, right?

Hell, no.

Most of these "fans" traveled from the far reaches of Blaine, Shakopee, Lakeville, etc. to cheer their "beloved" Yankees. Bandwagon Jumpers. In fact, the last time I attended a Twins-Yankees game, the girl sitting next to me was especially boisterous in her support of the Yanks. She had the whole outfit - jersey, hat, foam finger. I had to ask her where she was from. Oh, she was from Brooklyn all right - Brooklyn Park, Minnesota. Why was she cheering for the Yankees? Because Derek Jeter was "so cute." Now, I can see this, I guess. Hey, Jeter is a good looking guy. But, the guy she was with was also a Yankees fan from Brooklyn Park. Psychology 101 says he was cheering for the Yankees because HE HAS THE PSYCHOLOGICAL NEED TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH A WINNER. Believe it. This is the case with all Bandwagon jumpers.

I am sure that both of these individuals have moved on to being Red Sox fans (like most bandwagon Yankees fans have) since that day I sat by them in the Dome. After all, the Yankees are now passe and the Sox have won two world series and they have a cool "B" on their hats. They will claim, however, to have "always been Red Sox fans." After all, they have a second-cousin who knows this guy from Boston. Right?

When I grew up in Eau Claire, Wisconsin, it was my belief that you could only cheer for two groups of teams - those from the Green Bay/Milwaukee area (Home State) or those from Minneapolis-St.Paul (only 80 miles from EC). I was very suspicious of those who cheered for teams outside of these two areas. I always thought you should cheer for those teams who represent your area and SUFFER along with your neighbors. I should put "asterisks" by that last statement, however, as to why somebody would cheer for a team or teams outside of their home area. Here they are:

**You were born in or used to live in another city that had sports teams. This is a no-brainer. Of course you would cheer for those teams.

**You had a parent who cheered for another team because they were born in another city and cheered for that team (and were not Bandwagon Jumpers themselves). I can see that.

**There is a hometown connection to another team. For example Tom Poquette, an Eau Claire native, played for the Kansas City Royals in the 1970's. Many people cheered for the Royals for that reason (right Al?). That's cool.

**Lastly, if you simply cannot root for your local squads, it is OK to pick a somewhat "inconsequential team" like the San Diego Padres or the Cleveland Browns. If the team got good later, more power to you. It may be a good idea to carry a notarized letter stating the exact date that you started to follow the team, however, so you don't appear to be a Bandwagon Jumper."

Now, please notice on that last note that I said "inconsequential team." You can't just pick the latest dynasty. There are certain teams that a rational, moral human being simply cannot cheer for unless they grew up in the State or vicinity of that team. Here they are:

NFL:

**DALLAS COWBOYS - The Cowboys are Evil incarnate. The so-called "America's Team." No way. They are despicable and Jerry Jones is the devil. Terrell Owens. The Drew Pearson push-off. And now, they signed Pac Man Jones. You can't like them unless you are from Texas. You just can't.

** PITTSBURGH STEELERS - If you are over 35, not from Pennsylvania and are a Steelers fan, you lack a soul. You like them because, as a kid, you had to be associated with a champion when they were winning every Super Bowl in sight in the 1970's. You know this to be true, don't you? Unless you had a friend of a third-cousin who once had a layover in Pittsburgh, of course.

**NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS - Unless you live in New England, there is no way you were ever a Patriots fan until they started winning Super Bowls unless you have the notarized letter. No way. But that Tom Brady sure is cute, isn't he?

MLB:

**NEW YORK YANKEES - If I have to explain this one, you haven't been following sports for very long.

**BOSTON RED SOX - This one is hard, because I believe there are a lot of people who truly carry "the notarized letter" of being a long-time Red Sox fan. The Red Sox used to be the anti-Yankees, lovable losers, etc. Now, they've won a couple of World Series and have a payroll that approaches the Yankees. They paid $50 million for the right to negotiate with a Japanese pitcher (Dice-K). It's like when good Spiderman turned into that evil Black Spiderman.

**ATLANTA BRAVES - Superstation, Superstation, Superstation. Plus, the Tomahawk Chop. Plus, Hanoi Jane.

NBA:

**LOS ANGELES LAKERS - There are no lakes in Los Angeles, and there is no reason to cheer for this team if you are not from California. This team is reserved for Jack Nicholson, Leonardo DiCaprio and the rest of Hollyweird. They do not represent some guy in Brainerd.

**CHICAGO BULLS - Once Michael Jordan came aboard, everyone bought Bulls jackets (especially the burn-outs, which is weird) and claimed to "have always loved the team." You don't see these folks in their jackets now that Jordan has retired. True Bandwagon Jumpers. Watch out now that they have the 1st pick in the draft, though! I wonder if they keep those jackets???

NHL:

**DETROIT RED WINGS - I really think that hockey does not have as many Bandwagon Jumpers as other sports. The reason is because there are so few American fans that the ones that exist tend to be pretty die-hard. There might be Bandwagon Jumpers in Canada, but I don't know that for sure. It is my belief, however, that if a person was to start watching hockey tomorrow, they cannot cheer for the mighty Red Wings unless they are from Michigan. (note to Dools and Johnny - don't worry, your good. You're from Michigan). This would take no thought whatsoever. None. Geez, cheer for a Canadian team if you're just going to pick somebody.

That's all of the teams that I can think of. By the way, you cannot cheer for Duke in college athletics unless you attended the University. But college athletics is a whole other subject. What do you think? Are there teams that I missed? Are you a.................Bandwagon Jumper?

Jeff