Those of you who know me realize that I am a deep-thinker (no question) and am constantly in search of the meaning of life. I have spent quite a bit of time searching for the life's meaning at various pubs, concerts and baseball parks but, to quote U2, "I still haven't found what I'm looking for." The Internet is also an obvious source of information and meaning. Granted, 90% of it is crap (Lindsay Lohan's latest DUI, for example) but every so often you find a nugget of gold.
For instance, a couple of days ago, I was on the St. Paul Pioneer Press web site and came across the following article about a couple who has been married for 82 and 1/2 years:
http://www.twincities.com/localnews/ci_6439689?source=rv
Now, another thing you have to know about me is that I am amazed at males who live to an elderly age. Maybe that is why I am amazed by the House of Wong's clientele. You see, there is NOT really a pattern of male longevity in my family history, so I am flabbergasted when I read about or see a seriously old man. By the way, I hope to break this cycle in my family (thank you Zocor) and live forever and eat at The House of Wong every night with the rest of the fossils. Anyway, along with the fact this this couple, the Vails, has been married for 82 1/2 years, what really struck me is that the wife (Mayme) is 99 years old and the husband (Clarence) is..........................freaking 101!
What are the keys to a happy marriage and how in God's name did Clarence live to be 101? I just got a calculator out and figured out he was 35 - when World War II started. Well, that is the great thing about this article - they have pointers! Let's see what Clarence and Mayme have to say. Check it out (I have offered my commentary on how I feel I am fairing after each one):
KEYS TO A LONG (AND HAPPY) MARRIAGE:
1. Avoid debt. The Vails never had a credit card and never spent what they didn't have. (I agree - good point. It also helps that credit cards did not exist until the Vails were in their 60's. I'd give my wife and I a good grade on this - we don't have much debt.)
2. Strive for simple, clean living. Neither smoked or drank, both a waste of money, Mayme Vail said. (I'm all with the Vails on the smoking point. The drinking point could be a big, big problem. Big.)
3. Pick a good woman and let her lead the way, Clarence Vail advises. (Amen. No question. A+. Oddly, there was no follow-up advice from Mayme on this point.)
4. No public arguments and no shouting, particularly in front of the children. (I totally agree. I use up most of my rage and shouting watching the Vikings, which has nothing to do with my marriage. And I certainly don't watch the Vikings with my children.)
5. Feed your faith. The Vails followed every evening dinner with the rosary and still say it daily. Mayme Vail attended daily Mass until recently. (Well, we don't say the rosary after EVERY dinner. Ah, let's just say this is a work in progress. Incomplete.)
6. Accept your spouse as is. Your marriage will be happier, Mayme Vail said, if you make peace with each other's quirks. (Luckily, my wife and I are perfect, so we don't need to pay any attention to this piece of advice. Let's move on).
Well, after everything is said and done, I think I did OK. Except for the drinking point and the rosary, we did OK. Oh, there is one more bit of advice that Clarence had for men that gave me pause. According to Clarence, husbands should "just do what she wants you to do."
Wow. That's deep. In other words, "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." Well, I can kind of see that logic. Now, if I guy turns that philosophy around to "just do what HE wants you to do," he'd be sent to family counseling and considered an ass-hole. But, "just do what SHE wants you to do" is kind of quaint and solid advice. It's obviously worked for Clarence and Mayme. Like I said, the dude is 101.
I'd like to know what some of the husbands and wives out there think about this philosophy. Do you agree? Does your marriage work this way?
I'd like to hear. You know me, just searching for the meaning of life.
Peace,
Jeff
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4 comments:
my folks have been married for 53 years. at my parents 50th wedding anniversary, I asked my dad what the secret was. he made a gesture of pointing at one ear, and out the other. whatever works, and in this case, it has for them.
That's great advice from your dad, tony8489. Anyone who has been married for 53 years has gotta be doing something right! That's awesome.
Jeff
JT. It's TD from the check. I think Mayme and Clarence are onto something. My parents were married for almost 63 years before my Dad passed away @ 93 years old. They had no debt, never argued and never missed Sunday mass. However, my Dad loved to have a couple beers and a cigar from time to time. Anyway, great story and good advise.
Thanks TD - nice to hear from you! 63 years - that is good stuff. I think there are definitely some patterns here with the advice people hand out. And, I love your cigar and beers comment.
I think it would work better for me if I could combine some of these things. Like the ability to have a couple of beers and a cigar IN CHURCH. Anyway, I'll see you at THE CHECK.
Jeff
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