Those of you who reside in the Twin Cities area are no doubt familiar with the Har-Mar Mall, one of the oldest shopping centers in the metropolitan area. Har-Mar, which I lovingly refer to as "Shitdale," is located in Roseville and is anchored by a Marshall's, Cub Foods and, until recently, several movie theatres. The theatres recently closed because a modern, 14-screen stadium-seating theatre just opened in nearby Rosedale (Rosedale - not Shitdale). The theatres also closed because people got sick of sticking to their seats and feeling like they watching a flick in a MRI tube. Har-Mar is rounded out by a pet store, a used book store, some second-hand stores and several empty store fronts. One of those used to be a Christian book store which went out of business. I'm not sure what that says about Har-Mar. Also, Shitdale has the nicest Barnes and Noble bookstore that I have ever been in, which has always amazed me. This is much like putting expensive rims on a Chevy Chevette.Why is this important? Well, today I was reading the StarTribune and I came across an article stating that Shitdale, I mean Har-Mar, is headed for a "makeover." According to Richard Coles, a Vice-President for Emmes & Co. which owns the mall, Har-Mar is a "under-performing asset." Coles went on to say ""It's a shopping institution in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area, and we think it has a lot of potential."
The article also mentions that the firm will renovate the mall, starting with the exterior facade of the west side of the mall and continue to renovate the area that used to house the theatres (good luck with that one, fellas). Emmes also has some ambitious plans for the rest of the building and surrounding structures.
OK. Wait a minute. Has anyone ever heard the saying about "painting a turd?" Now, don't get me wrong - I love Har-Mar. I love how it has uneven floors and always smells like pepperoni. I love how there is always craft shows on weekends. I love the stoners who work at the pet shop. And, if a person truly wants to be alone, there is no better place in the Twin Cities. Let's keep it like that! Har-Mar has always had a certain "coolness" to it. Enough so that it is mentioned in a Hold Steady song and even spawned the moniker "Har-Mar Superstar" for the entertainer Sean Tillman (see below).
We don't need another Galleria in this town. We already have one of those in Edina and I'd rather hear the snap of the doctors rubber glove than go to Galleria and deal with those ass- holes. Is there a "Galleria Superstar?" No. And, look, it's going to take more than a fresh coat of paint and a new facade to spruce up Har-Mar. It's going to take several tons of explosives and a miracle of biblical proportions. And with the Christian bookstore going out of business, that is not going to happen any time soon.I am hearby starting a "Keep Har-Mar Shitty!" campaign. I will make shirts and bumper stickers if I have to. Maybe I will run for political office with that as my slogan. Enough is enough, people. Upgrade Har-Mar - C'mon.
Let me know if you are in.
Peace,
Jeff
12 comments:
Now being an out of stater, I can attest to actually having seen a movie in the Shitdale theater. It was 2005, the movie was Batman Begins. I'm not sure what stunk worse, the movie or the theater.
I didn't get a pepperoni stink, the scent I got was more a combination of mothballs and mildew.
Nice to hear from you Phil! I'd forgotten that you had the opportunity to visit Har Mar on one of your trips here.
I read a letter to the editor in the paper once by a guy that said his out of town guests wanted to visit the Mall of America. He said he'd take them and actually drove them to Har Mar. As they were pulling in the parking lot he exclaimed "here it is - isn't this great?!"
I always wanted to do that. I'll e-mail you soon to see what you have been up to.
Jeff
I never said this blog wasn't going to be controversial. This is hard-hitting stuff!
Jeff
you sound like nick coleman and that conservative hating anonymous person that follows me around this blog
is it ok if my husband and I go to southdale tonight?
I am 100% on any bandwagon which would like to keep Har Mar shitty.
Think about the dive bars and greasy spoon restaurants which have a warm place in your heart. Remodel them and they become offensive. Har Mar has had some remodeling over the years, but still retains some kitsch value. Especially the abondoned theatre with the massive plexiglass chandeliers and white marble encrusted facade. I think money would be much better spent making the rest of the place look like that than covering it with colored sheet metal and high pressure laminate.
Very provocative photo of H-M Superstar.
Swing Shift - yes, that will be fine.
anyone ever see this har mar fella perform? saw him profiled a few years ago in rolling stone. great reviews.
Aside from the music, the show focuses on two facts: he is not attractive and he takes most of his clothes off. Some good self mockery humor.
sweet
I would put a "Keep Har-Mar Shitty" sticker on my truck. In it's 30 years on earth only 2 stickers have graced its backside a "NHRA" safety sticker and an SST records sticker.
Produce that sucker Jeffery-San I want one.
ronnie-san
Think of it this way: They tried to "improve" the 35W bridge and look what happened to that.
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