A Big Letdown.

I got pretty excited this afternoon when I got a call from Roger (from THE CHECK) stating that he heard on the radio that a body of a Bigfoot had finally been found. My first reaction was "I knew this day would come!" The radio show stated that a body of a deceased Bigfoot had been found and that there were photographs on the internet. Well, I rushed home from THE CHECK (business use of internet only) and checked out the story. Sure enough, here is some background from a Fox News story:

Two Northern California men and two Georgians say they've got a body, a photo and DNA evidence pertaining to the elusive forest-dwelling man-ape — and that they'll reveal all at a press conference in Palo Alto, Calif., on Friday.

"I think you'll find that this is the real deal," Robert Barrows of Redwood City, Calif., told the Bay City News local wire service.

Matthew Whitton, a cop in Clayton County, Ga., and his friend Rick Dyer, a former corrections officer, say they recently found the body in the woods of northern Georgia.

Veteran Bigfoot tracker Tom Biscardi said he's examined the body, and that scientists will get their chance soon.


My heart was racing now, so I did some more research on the internet, and found a site that had a link to a picture!!! As the link was opening, I had to breath into a bag and then this popped up:

Oh, for the love of God. That is not The Sasquatch. That is a rug thrown in a cooler along with a carefully-placed Cornelius mask from Planet of the Apes. With some hot dogs thrown on top. Now, it's even been announced that there is going to be a press conference held in California on Friday to produce more "shocking evidence." Here is some more information from an Associated Content web site and http://www.searchingforbigfoot.com/:

DNA photo evidence of the creature commonly known as Bigfoot or Sasquatch is to be presented at a press conference to be held on Friday, August 15, at 12 p.m. at the Cabana Hotel-Palo Alto in Palo Alto, California. The press conference will not be open to the public. In advance details released by Searching for Bigfoot, Inc. Menlo Park, California, the Bigfoot was described as seven feet seven inches tall, weight over five hundred pounds, male, with appearance part ape-like part human, redish hair with blackish gray eyes, five fingers and toes, feet flat similar to humans.

So....the press conference is not going to be open to the public? Are they going to show this evidence to "scientists?" I hope they are able to hide the zipper. You know, it's this kind of crap that gives Sasquatch hunters a bad name. Because they don't have a bad name otherwise.

What a letdown.

Jeff

More Things That I Don't Understand Because I am Getting Older...

Now that I am on "the other side of 40," I am noticing that there are certain things that are occurring in society that I do not understand. In fact, the list is growing longer every day. Here are two items that are extremely popular is today's society that have me perplexed:

1. Texting. I don't get it. I had a conversation last night about texting with my friend Pete The Weeg. Notice I said we had a "conversation" about texting - we didn't "text" each other about texting. Pete's also on the other side of 40, and we are in 100% agreement on the subject. We don't get it. Texting seems to be right up there with eating and sleeping in importance with today's youth, however.

Now, I understand e-mail, cell phones, Backberrys, iPhones, etc. Hey, I obviously even have my own blog so I don't think I'm exactly John McCain when it comes to technology. And everybody and their brother has a cell phone, which many seem to be using in every waking moment. Why don't these people just "call"their friends and relatives on the cell phone? Why do these texters feel the need to keep in constant contact with their buddies via the written conversation? And those abbreviations - "ADBB, Y, LOL, IMO, IDM, B/C, BBFN, PRW - what the hell do these mean? Or should I say "WTHDTM?" It's like conversing with Prince.

Pioneer Press columnist Joe Soucheray was talking about being in a waiting room and watching two teenagers sitting next to each other texting. It turns out that they were texting each other. That's pathetic. IMHO, all of this texting is breeding two negative phenomenons with "the youth":

A. Spelling ability is going down the tubes.

B. Kids can communicate with each other through technology, but can barely carry on a conversation when you look them in the eye, face to face. You ask them how their day is going and get a blank stare and "ahhhhhhhhhh.........."

I am kind of glad I missed the whole texting phenomenon. It seems like a huge pain in the ass.

2. Ultimate Fighting. For those of us who do not get our "violence fix" through the daily news, hockey fights, rap music or the latest Quentin Tarantino film, there is Ultimate Fighting. Up until this weekend, I didn't pay much attention to Ultimate Fighting because I thought it was on the same level of popularity as cock fighting. No sirree. There was a UFC bout this weekend at the Target Center featuring local legend Brock Lesner. Check out the numbers on the match from a Star Tribune article:

The UFC, the premier organization for mixed martial arts, will host a summer extravaganza Saturday at the Target Center. The card will feature a pair of local fighters: former University of Minnesota and NCAA wrestling champion Brock Lesnar and Roger Huerta, one of the top UFC fighters.

More than 12,000 tickets (expected capacity about 13,000) at an average of $188 -- tickets range from $50 to $600 -- have been sold. The card has already generated more than $2.2 million in gross ticket sales, a bigger gate than Prince, the Timberwolves, U2 or Bruce Springsteen ever had at a single event at Target Center.

"Not only do we sell them out, we break arena records," White said. "The gate, merchandise, concessions. We're Number 1. The Rolling Stones are usually Number 2."

WHAT? Folks - did I miss something here? Like the Apocalypse? For those of you who were unaware of what goes on in these "matches," here is some background from the same Star Tribune story:

The popularity is in the explosive nature of the sport. Mixed martial arts features a combination of boxing, wrestling and jiu-jitsu. In the UFC, competitors fight in a cage called "the octagon" and often win their fights by knockouts resulting from kicks, knees, elbows and punches and also, submission maneuvers. If a fight goes the distance -- generally three or five rounds, each lasting five minutes -- the contest is decided by three judges, similar to the scoring in boxing.

This ain't Vern Gagne and Baron Von Raske, folks. Check out the UFC "rules" straight from a martial arts web site (with my own notes). These are the only things that are not allowed - all else goes. This is good stuff:

Fouls:
1. Butting with the head.
2. Eye gouging of any kind.
3. Biting.
4. Hair pulling. (So far, 3 of the first 4 sound like a girl's sleep over.)
5. Fish hooking. (What?)
6. Groin attacks of any kind. (How many "kinds" are there?)
7. Putting a finger into any orifice or into any cut or laceration on an opponent. (Aw, darn it!)
8. Small joint manipulation. (Ummmm...yeah, that's bad)
9. Striking to the spine or the back of the head.
10. Striking downward using the point of the elbow.
11. Throat strikes of any kind, including, without limitation, grabbing the trachea. (Seriously - the trachea?)
12. Clawing, pinching or twisting the flesh.
13. Grabbing the clavicle.
14. Kicking the head of a grounded opponent.
15. Kneeing the head of a grounded opponent.
16. Stomping a grounded opponent.
17. Kicking to the kidney with the heel. (But kicking the kidney with any other part of the foot is OK : ) ! )
18. Spiking an opponent to the canvas on his head or neck.
19. Throwing an opponent out of the ring or fenced area.
20. Holding the shorts or gloves of an opponent. (Hand Holding is not allowed!)
21. Spitting at an opponent.
22. Engaging in an unsportsmanlike conduct that causes an injury to an opponent. (Isn't that basically the whole sport?)
23. Holding the ropes or the fence.
24. Using abusive language in the ring or fenced area. (You can nearly kill someone - but no swearing!)
25. Attacking an opponent on or during the break. (You, know, by the pop machine)
26. Attacking an opponent who is under the care of the referee.
27. Attacking an opponent after the bell has sounded the end of the period of unarmed combat.
28. Flagrantly disregarding the instructions of the referee.
29. Timidity, including, without limitation, avoiding contact with an opponent, intentionally or consistently dropping the mouthpiece or faking an injury. (No sissies!)
30. Interference by the corner.
31. Throwing in the towel during competition. (Allow yourself to be killed! See # 29...)

Well, there you go. I don't know about you, but that sounds pretty entertaining! Maybe I'll pop some popcorn and gather the kids around the TV for the next bout. The only thing that is missing would be a Lion or a Tiger in the "octagon." Wait a minute...that is not in the list of no-no's.

Yep, I'm now officially part of the "older generation." I'm going to watch the Twins play baseball now.....

Jeff

Stuff To Ponder

Here's some stuff to think about as the weekend approaches:

1. John Edwards admits to extra-marital affair. Geez. Here is the background from an AP story from Startribune.com:

Former presidential candidate John Edwards, who won nationwide praise and sympathy as he campaigned side-by-side with his cancer-stricken wife, Elizabeth, admitted in shame Friday he had had an affair with a woman who produced videos for his campaign.

Acknowledging a sex scandal he had dismissed as "tabloid trash" only last month, Edwards said he had told his wife and family long ago, but "I had hoped that it would never become public."

Now, before I expound on this subject, I want to say that I am not bringing it up for political reasons. I am sure that if I did some research, I would be able to locate some examples of officials on both sides of the political aisle that have made the decision to fool around on their spouse. I am also not here to belittle Edwards. I always kind of liked the guy. But what the hell was he thinking? Edwards had an affair with another woman while his wife was suffering with cancer. Well, folks, I will tell you what he was thinking. A quote from the same AP story:

"In the course of several campaigns, I started to believe that I was special and became increasingly egocentric and narcissistic. If you want to beat me up feel free. You cannot beat me up more than I have already beaten up myself. I have been stripped bare and will now work with everything I have to help my family and others who need my help."

I find the first sentence of that last quote from Edwards to be very interesting. "I started to believe that I was special and became increasingly egocentric and narcissistic." That quote is very interesting to me. The older it get, the more I realize that some people, as they attain a certain level of fame and fortune in society, believe they are "above everyone else." They believe that they can get away with things that "the common folk" cannot get away with. They make bad decisions thinking that "they will not get caught." The problem is that they usually get caught. It makes you wonder if they are sorry for what they did - or are they sorry they got caught? I don't know.

2. Road rage with a twist. Check this story out from the Naples Daily News:

Collier County Judge Vince Murphy sentenced 39-year-old Christopher Scott Thompson, 80 Logan Blvd. S. in North Naples, to the class as a condition of his six-month probationary term on a misdemeanor charge, improper exhibition of a weapon.

Thompson was arrested at about 4 p.m. Sept. 28 after another driver, Joseph Hunter, told Collier sheriff’s deputies that a man in a white Dodge van flashed a gun at him on Logan Boulevard near the intersection with Teak Wood Drive. Deputies found Thompson at his home nearby and seized a gun from his white Dodge Caravan.

Deputies reported that Thompson told them that he got upset when he was cut off in traffic and didn’t back off the other driver. He said he had to slam on his brakes to avoid a collision but denied flashing his gun at Hunter.

Deputies charged him with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill and displaying a firearm during a felony. He had faced up to 15 years in a state prison on the latter charge, a second-degree felony, and five years on the other, a third-degree offense.

Here is the twist in this road rage story - Scott Thompson is a youth pastor at a local church in Naples.

Wow. That is something you don't see every day. A youth pastor accused of road rage, flashing a gun and being forced to attend anger management classes. Here is some more information from the story:

Thompson’s MySpace Page says he is married with two children and lists Jesus as his hero and church officials have called him an “outstanding employee” and an “effective leader.” He remains an employee there.

After the hearing, the church’s pastor, the Rev. Ted Sauter reiterated the church’s support and noted the lack of proof against his employee.

“Chris is an exceptionally effective youth pastor and the action today justifies our decision to believe Chris’ explanation and keep Chris in good standing on our staff,” Sauter said. “In contrast to Duke University with its Lacrosse team, our leadership did not rush to judgment based upon questionable allegations, but acted in a responsible and Christian manner.’’

I have a few questions:

1. Do youth pastors normally carry firearms?

2. Is Naples that "tough" that a person would feel compelled to carry a firearm?

3. Did Jesus carry weapons?

I just don't know what to think, people. The older I get, the more confused I get. It's a strange, strange world.

Jeff

The Last Favre Post.

Well, it's done. Brettfavre is a member of the New York Jets. There is nothing new that I can say the subject that has not already been said a million times in the media. The coverage of this topic has been insane, particularly on ESPN. Here are my final thoughts on the Favre conundrum and I am done.

When the news broke about Favre's retirement, I personally questioned whether or not he could stay retired. This is not uncommon for professional athletes, and I didn't think his ego would allow it. Never in a million years would I have ever believed that Favre would be traded to another team, however. I still am in a state of shock and awe as to how it got to that point.

I have never seen another human being that is so worshipped for playing a game, literally almost to a religious level, as Brett Favre. There is no question that Favre is a first-ballot Hall of Fame Quarterback who played (plays) the game with the spirit of a child. He restored greatness to the Packer franchise after two-plus decades of futility. Because of this, however, Favre also got a "free pass" for his transgressions from a frightening number of Packer fans throughout his career. This "free pass" can still be seen today from the many comments from people who want Ted Thompson and Mike McCarthy fired (or worse), even though they've built a pretty decent young team. Favre got bigger than the Packers to many people, and I think he bought into his own hype. I see his so-called "fall" as almost a "Karmic leveling" of the sports universe. In Kiln, Mississippi-speak, Favre got too big for his own britches. Personally, this reminds me of the Kirby Puckett story, which came to a very sad ending for other reasons. There was a time I thought Kirby could do no wrong. Well, he could.

My kids know I am a sports fanatic, and they seem to be following in my footsteps. I have warned them, however, not to get too wrapped up in individual players. They are just men, after all. They are the best at what they do, which makes the games fun to watch and the teams fun to follow. But if you look at players as "heroes" or "role-models" they will most-likely let you down. Players come and go. It's like Jerry Seinfeld said - we're basically cheering for laundry. We're cheering for the jersey and whomever happens to be wearing it at the time.

It going to take many Packer fans quite some time to get over this one. It happened when Bart Starr left (Randy Wright, not so much). Young Aaron Rodgers is going to have some pressure put on him this year, whether it is deserved or not. I kind of feel bad for the guy.

Good luck, Aaron. You are going to need it.

Jeff

Closure.....Finally.

But the NEW YORK JETS??? Can this be far behind?

More thoughts after THE CHECK today, and this topic will be put to rest for good.

Jeff

Wait! Brettfavre To "Compete" For Job!

In a not-so-stunning change of events, it has been announced that Brettfavre is now on his way to Green Bay and - ready for this? - will be allowed to COMPETE (nod, nod - wink, wink) with Aaron Rodgers for the Packer starting Quarterback position. Gee, I wonder who will win???? Here is what I think about this:

1. It is more apparent than ever that Brettfavre runs the entire Green Bay Packer organization. They bribe the guy with an offer of $25 million to basically "go away," which he turns down. (Hey - THAT'S the team I'd want to play for. The one who offers me millions NOT to show up). Now they are going to hand him the starting job after promising the position to Aaron Rodgers. He blackmailed the team by threatening to play for their arch-rivals and they gave in. Pathetic.

2. If I was Aaron Rodgers, I would demand a trade immediately. How can Ted Thompson and Mike McCarthey even look him in the face? Rodgers is a 1st-round pick who is in the 4th year of a 5-year, incentive-laden contract. He has not started a game.

3. My good buddy Jase has taken a calm, collected view of this whole affair. Jase, a life-long Packer fan, realized that the Packer organization gave Favre opportunity after opportunity to return to the club after last year. He was able to see through the "Favre is God" opinion that many Packer fans share. Not all fans share this clear vision with Jase. If you want to read some funny (demented and sad, but funny) stuff, check out the fan comments on the Milwaukee Journal and Green Bay Press-Gazette Packer articles. Favre is basically immune to any criticism and Rodgers has been vilified for throwing an incomplete pass in the Packers first scrimmage. Favre could basically take hostages at gunpoint and it would be the hostages fault according to these fans. But at least we have this sweet photo of he and his wife landing in Green Bay (somebody also gave a link to his flight info in the comments in the Mil. Journal, which is frighteningly sad):


4. I wonder if Ted Thompson or Mike McCarthy will have to do Favre's laundry?

5. Get the tissues ready for John Madden.

6. Favre was never, ever going to the Vikings. Well, actually he was. THAT is why he will now be "competing" for the Packers starting quarterback position.

We'll see what happens now. It's going to be a circus.

Monday morning update: Now, conflicting reports say the Packers may have actually contacted the Vikings about a trade for Favre. I think that I am officially going to shut up about this whole topic until something substantial happens. This is ridiculous...

Jeff

Livan Gone; Gardy Suspended

It's been an eventful week on the Twins front. First, the trading came and went with no deals by the Twins. I hope this did not come as a shock to anyone. I read quite a few comments on various web sites from people who were very upset the Twins did not make a trade. People were calling for the basic "Derek Jeter for Brian Bass" type trades, which usually don't materialize for some reason. Personally, I think the Twins brass is very reluctant to trade any of the young pitchers on the staff or position players because any success they will have this year is basically "gravy." The Twins are realistically building for 2010 when the new stadium opens.

Secondly, the Twins took 3 of 4 from the Hated (capital H) White Sox to pull within 1/2 game of first place. Gardy (who I love) got ejected after a horrible call in the third game and punted his hat (see above). After this punt, hats rained down on the field along with a few baseballs. Now, Twins fans are usually very good natured - almost to a fault. When things get bad at the Dome, Twins fans usually purse their lips and utter such language as "drat, darn and dad-gum." Once every five years, however, Twins fans snap. Remember the return of Chuck Knoblauch in 2001? For three straight nights, fans in left field threw coins at him in left field. I was there with some guys from THE CHECK one night, but did not hurl anything at Knoblauch except insults. The second game was delayed and Tom Kelly was forced to walk out and lecture the perpetrators or the game would be forfeited. Bob Casey, the late-great beloved public address announcer screamed at the fans to "STOP THESE SHENANIGANS OR RISK FORFEITURE!" Casey usually saved such rage for his "NOOOOOOOOO SMOKING" message before each game. I miss that guy.

Anyway, a couple of nights ago, after hats and baseballs rained down on field, Ozzie Guillen (who I also love, by the way) pulled his team off the field and got in a screaming match with two old guys seated above the Sox dugout. They looked like those two old guys who heckle from the balcony in The Muppets.

That was fantastic, and another reason baseball is the greatest game out there. Guillen and the old guys were really screaming back and forth and Ozzie really let them get under his skin, just like the old guys on The Muppets did to Kermit the Frog. Gardy ended up getting suspended for Saturday night's game against Cleveland because MLB blamed him for "starting the fracas." Oddly enough, these "fracases" usually occur on "Dollar Dome Dog Night" in which hot dogs are $1. I can't really explain that one. Booze, I can see. But Dome dogs?

Thirdly, the Twins made a great decision by releasing Livan Hernandez and Craig Monroe and calling up Fransico Liriano from Rochester. Nothing against Hernandez or Monroe personally, but this move had to happen. Hernandez was a class act all year, and he could have ripped the Twins for letting him go now. But, instead, here is what he had to say:

"I had fun here," Hernandez said. "It's a great city for baseball. They treat people professionally. I never think I made the wrong decision when I decided to sign with the Twins."

Hernandez was 10-8 with a 5.48 ERA in 23 starts, but was just getting hammered since May. Since May 17, he was 4-7 with a 6.59 ERA and .364 opponent's batting average in 14 starts. The Twins infielders lives were at stake with all of the rockets being hit at them. Hell, the fans in the outfield seats' lives were at stake with all of the rockets being hit at them. Meanwhile, Craig Monroe was brought in to supply some offensive "pop," was hitting .203 and just never panned out.

Liriano? They had to bring him up. Never mind that he was 10-0 with a 2.67 ERA in his past 11 starts for Rochester - they had to shut up his agent. Liriano will be making his first start against hated Cleveland on Sunday, and me and Three Kooks will be there.

I will be an interesting pennant race. The Hated Sox have picked up Ken Griffey Jr. The Twins, however, might just have Karma on their side. Ask me again, however, in early September when the Twins return from playing 20 of 29 games on the road.

That stretch will determine the entire season.

Peace,

Jeff