Writer's Block

Geez, do I have writers block. Not much is going on. Football is done - even the edge-of-your-seat exciting Pro Bowl. Baseball is just getting started. There haven't been any major Sasquatch sightings lately. Nothing. So, here are a few of my latest observations:

1. News Item: Vikings release safety Dwight Smith. I am having a hard time deciding what is my fondest memory of Smith's tenure with the Vikings. There ares so many to choose from. Was is the time he got caught having "relations" with that woman in a downtown Minneapolis stairwell? Was it the time he got caught smoking "hooch" in his parked car in downtown Minneapolis (I am sensing a pattern) and admitted to the cop that he was "just smoking pot in his car?". Was it the three or four times he had to sit out the first series of a game because of an "unknown transgression" during the practice week? Rumor has it that Dwight was late for quite a few team meetings over time (see "hooch"). Dwight Smith's conversations with Brad Childress must have been very similar to those between Jeff Spicoli and Mr. Hand in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. They probably went a lot like this:

SCENE: Spicoli walks into class late (or Smith walks into a practice session late)

Spicoli (Dwight Smith): "Hey, there's no birthday party for me in here..."

Mr. Hand (Brad Childress): "Mr. Spicoli, what is the reason for your tardiness?"

Spicoli (Dwight Smith): "Just couldn't make it on time, Mr. Hand."

Mr. Hand (Brad Childress): Mr. Spicoli, what is your fascination with truancy?"

Oh well. Once again, losing Smith is "addition through subtraction" for the Vikings Maybe he can catch on with Fred "Smootzie" Smoots in Washington. Cuz they both wuz robbed, you know.

2. More proof that I am getting old. I am becoming The Guy Who Turns Off Lights in the house. All day, every day. I swear you can see our house from Space it's so lit up sometimes. Why do these children leave the lights on all the time? Don't they know how expensive the electricity bill is?

I'm 41 now, you know.

3. Speaking of The Children. We are looking for a Junior High for my oldest son. Junior frickin' High. How did we get to this point? It was just yesterday that I was in Junior High - in 1979. You know what happens in Junior High. Deodorant. Pimples. The Opposite Sex. Urges. Changes. Dad not being the Center of Your Universe. Roller skating parties with boys AND girls. Feathered hair and combs in your back pocket - wait, that was 1979. I don't know if I'm ready for this.

4. New Gary Louris album - "Vagabonds." The lead singer of the Jayhawks has released his first solo album. My expectations were very high due to some raving reviews of the album, so it took me a little while to warm up to the songs. It's got a mellow mid-1970's California feel, probably more "Crosby, Stills & Nash" than "Jayhawks." After 5 or 6 listenings I can say that I truly enjoy this album. The highlights are "True Blue," "Vagabonds" and "D.C. Blues." I am looking forward to his concert at The State in Minneapolis in March.

That is all I got today.

Jeff