Time Marches On

Editors Note: You might be expecting a post about Brett Favre returning to the Vikings or something like that. But what else can really be said? So......

Every Saturday morning between 8:00 and 10:00 AM, I like to listen to a show on 89.3 The Current called "Teenage Kicks." Teenage Kicks is a show that features so-called "alternative" music from the late 1970's through the early 1990's. Basically the Clash through Nirvana. In the middle, there is lots of Jesus and Mary Chain, Echo and the Bunnymen, Replacements, Bauhaus, etc. This is the music that I grew up with. I also like the fact that they find a lot of "B-sides" and play little-known music from these bands. What freaks me out is when they play a song and announce the year it was released and how old that is. For instance, The Replacements "I Will Dare" was released in 1984. For some reason, I still associate The Replacements and a lot of music from that era as "new and cutting edge." But, folks, "I Will Dare" is..................26 years old.

This radio show, along with other life events, has got me on this "time-space continuum kick." This fall, my oldest son wil begin his Freshman year in High School. He's already my height and wears 11 1/2 shoes. My middle son will be in 5th grade and my "little daughter" just turned 8 and will start 2nd grade. On top of this, next weekend I will be attending my 25th High School reunion in Eau Claire, WI. How the hell did all of this happen? Now, don't get me wrong. I don't look at these things with a sense of foreboding or trepidation. I have had a blast at each of my HS reunions. In fact, at my 20th reunion gathering, Pedo and I sang a pretty mean Karaoke medley of Journey's "Faithfully" (which, by the way, contains one of the greatest scenes EVER in a video in which Steve Perry forlornly ponders shaving his moustache in front of the bathroom mirror) and "Don't Stop Believin'. (Editor's 2nd note: For some reason my wife, who was in attendance at my 20th reunion, has decided not to attend my 25th. Not sure why. I guess my date will be Jase. But I digress). Back to the time-space continuum.

High School, College, etc., just does not seem like that long ago. But it was. Music has always been a "barometer of time" for me to measure these types of things. When I listen to the music played on "Teenage Kicks," I am flooded with memories. I cannot believe that I was much closer to my son's current age when most of this music was released compared to my current age of 43. Time Marches On.

I have told my wife many times that I feel I made a good "young guy" and I feel I will make a great "old guy." I have to admit, however, that this "middle-age stuff" has me a bit perplexed from time to time. Don't get me wrong - I am very lucky to have a wonderful wife and fantastic kids and great friends. It's just that this time in life is supposed to be for "achieving" and having all of the answers. And sensibility. Middle age is the time for "eating right" and exercising an hour a day. Mortgages, car payments and 401K's. It's not that I cannot handle these things or do not accept the responsibility. I just feel that I make a better Court Jester than King. A guy can be a Court Jester when he is young and when he is old. This middle age stuff begs for a guy to be a King.

I guess that I am not really sure what point I am trying to get across other than music, above all else, brings me back to certain wonderful times in life. I suggest you check out "Teenage Kicks" on 89.3 The Current on Saturday mornings from 8-10. If you grew up in the same time I did, I bet you'll hear some music that will bring you back to your school days.

So, lastly, I will gladly attend my 25th High School reunion and maybe they will play our class theme song - Simple Minds' "Don't You Forget About Me." (Kind of Cliche', I know) I just hope I can remember everyone's names....

Viking Training Camp Opens. Are We Really Up For This?

Training camp for the 2010 edition of the Minnesota Vikings opened yesterday in Mankato, Minnesota. In my youth, I used to look forward to the opening of training camp because, even though it signaled the end of summer, it also signaled the beginning of another football season. Now, in my 40's, I have come to dread the opening of training camp simply because it signals the beginning of another football season.

Folks, I am not up for this anymore.

The state of Minnesota is experiencing a wonderful summer at a brand new outdoor baseball park. The Twins have slightly underachieved, but they are only 1 1/2 games out of first and there will be a pennant race. As I have stated ad nauseum, baseball's marathon-like pace brings be peace and enjoyment. This pennant race, however, will be rudely interrupted by "daily Brett Favre watches," frantic over-analyzation of all aspects of the upcoming NFL season from every level, and probably some stadium threats.

The Vikings will be celebrating their 50th year in existence this fall. I have to say that, personally, I took the end of the 49th season the hardest of all. Most Viking fans say that the Choke of 1998 was the hardest to take, but for me it was the loss in New Orleans last January. The way I see it, the Minnesota Vikings crossed into a parallel universe to obtain Brett Favre to QB the team in 2009. And if Brett Favre cannot lead the team to a Super Bowl victory, it simply cannot happen. It is cosmically impossible. After the New Orleans loss, I felt physically ill for a week. I allowed myself to drink the Favre-induced Purple Kool-Aid and I was duped, once again.

So as another year begins, I hear grown adults proclaim that "this will be the year." Even Strib columnist Patrick Ruesse is proclaiming this to be the year the Vikings win the Super Bowl. Are people not paying attention to the Cosmos? It just ain't possible.

Now, children I can understand. They do not have the benefit (?) of experiencing history. But if you are over 10, it's time to let go of the dream. It's just healthier that way. My 11 year old son was officially indoctrinated in the Viking Club during that Saints game last year. He "gets it" now after a good cry last January.

So I am not going to get wrapped up in this pre-season stuff (although I see Percy Harvin was already carted off the field with an unknown injury). It's still baseball season, and we have a pennant race on our hands.

By the way, when IS the Vikings first regular-season game? Wait - never mind.......

Credit Where Credit Is Due

There was a time that Twins left-fielder Delmon Young was killing me. I wrote about that. He was the guy who supposedly was the best-batting practice hitter of all time, hitting absolute bombs to the outer reaches of the ballpark during warm-ups. Then when the game started, Young became an opposite-field slap hitter who usually grounded out to the second baseman in critical situations. To make matters worse, the Twins gave up Jason Bartlett and Matt Garza to acquire him from Tampa. And, lastly, he remains the only player I have ever witnessed in Major League Baseball to charge his own bench after he was beaned by a pitch.

But things have changed. Delmon Young reported to camp 30 lbs. lighter this year, and with a new attitude. The results have been incredible. So far this year, Delmon Young is hitting .325 with a .525 slugging %. He has 12 Home Runs and 73 RBI's. He is batting nearly .400 in July, and .463 since the All Star break. And, most importantly, he is batting an incredible .395 with runners in scoring position, something he really struggled with in the past. All this while Mauer, Span, Kubel, Hardy and Cuddyer have struggled for parts of the year. SO I WILL SAY IT:

Delmon Young is no longer killing me. Delmon Young is carrying this team!

Credit where credit is due.

And The Next Morning After The Dead Concert.....

....And speaking of drugs, this is why drugs and rainbows do not mix.

Thanks to my neighbor Tito Jackson for sending this to me.

Jeff

David Kahn Fined $50,000 For Speaking The Truth

It's not often that I feel the need to defend Timberwolves President David Kahn. After all, he is the 2nd most disingenuous individual in the entire Twin Cities sports scene (Tim Brewster is, hands down, #1). And, he's a tad on the creepy side. But, I have to defend Kahn for his recent comments on Micheal Beasley, the 2nd overall pick in the 2008 NBA draft. Beasley has been a bust so far in his career and was recently acquired by the Wolves from the Miami Heat. Kahn was asked about why Beasley has been a bust while appearing on a local radio talk show with Patrick Ruesse. According to a story in today's StarTribune, here was Kahn's answer:

"He's a very young and immature kid who smoked too much marijuana and has told me that he's not smoking anymore," Kahn said, "and I told him that I would trust him as long as that was the case."

For this comment, David Kahn and the Timberwolves organization were fined $50,000 EACH by David Stern and the NBA. They stated that Kahn's comments were "detrimental to the league."

First of all, I am glad that I was sitting down when I heard Kahn's comments. Is he insinuating that an NBA basketball player might be engaging in the illegal activity of smoking marijuana? This of course, is sarcasm. My question would be: Is there an NBA player who does NOT smoke marijuana? I think Kahn's comments are dead on, and most likely 100% accurate. Look, it's hard for a player to compete in the NBA when all he is thinking about is scarfing down some nachos at halftime. In order for Beasley to play at the level expected of a second-overall pick, he probably has to put down the hookah and lay off the hooch. This is all Kahn said.

I guess I can see why David Stern might be a bit bummed for this news to "leak out," but is this a surprise to anyone? Let's not mince words here. The NBA has become a league of thugs and potheads. Hey - this ain't Hoosiers, folks. And I am NOT trying to infer this is a race thing. Black, White, Purple, Green. They are all part of this NBA "culture." This is like being shocked that a bowling team drinks too much beer, for Cliff's sake.

One thing, however. I know Kahn said that he is convinced that Michael Beasley is off the ganja, but he may want to enforce some periodic drug testing just to make sure. From the look on Beasley's face on that picture I attached, I think he has his mind on the media buffet at the back of the room. I don't think he's feeling any pain. I'm just sayin.....

Jeff

OK. This Is Getting Serious.

As I watched Orlando Hudson strike out last night with the bases loaded to end the 8th inning, I noticed White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski pumping his fist in the air and yelling something at the fans behind the Sox bench. I thought to myself that Pierzynski is an Absolute Jackass (get it - AJ?). He is a total prick. I also thought to myself that the Twins need an Absolute Jackass on their team right now. Forget mustaches, the Twins need that type of "fire" from somebody - anybody.

As you all know, Pierzynski used to be a Twin, so the fans love to boo him whenever he comes to bat. They love to scream at him when he's on the field. But I will say that they miss his fire.

The 2010 Minnesota Twins are a team absolutely devoid of spunk. Think about past players that would run through a brick wall for the team to win - Puckett, Gladden, Gaetti, Brunansky, Morris, Hrbek, Knoblauch (early 90's version), Hunter, Guardado. Hell, even Mike Redmond and Steve Lombardozzi. And remember the impact that Orlando Cabrera made on the team last year? He's gone too. Name ONE player on this year's team that fills that description.

Look, I do not question this team's effort or desire to win, they simply seem comatose on and off of the field. The entire pitching staff looks like a boy scout troupe. Well, except for Jon Rauch, who LOOKS insane but is really the nicest guy you'd ever meet. His neck tattoos are supposedly a tribute to his kids. Baker? Slowey?? There are kids in my son's 10-year old league that are more intimidating. Even Gardenhire seems nicer this year. I can't remember the last time he got tossed from a game. I can't remember the last time he kicked his hat in the air. What the hell is going on?

The players in leadership positions on the Twins are also known as quiet guys who like to lead with their play on the field. Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau, Michael Cuddyer. All great guys. And they'll watch your kids for you after the game if you ask them to. The Twins are the only team in the league with a broadcaster (Gladden) that gets more fired up than the players. If Gary Gaetti (mid-80's version) was on this team he's be treated like Hannibal Lecter. He'd be in the corner of the locker room with a beer, smoking and yelling at guys. They would probably benefit from that, too.

There is not one guy on the Twins that I would be afraid for them to take my daughter to the prom. Even Rausch. Geez, I'd hand them the car keys and tell them to be back by Monday. I wouldn't have a concern in the world. It would be like something out of Norman Rockwell.

Now, I wouldn't even let my daughter in the same ROOM as A.J. Prezynski.

All of this "niceness" is fine and dandy unless you are trying to win a pennant. The 2010 Twins may become the most talented, and most polite, team to ever finish third.

Somebody kick over a garbage can. Dump over some Gatorade. Maybe even swear once, even.

But do something, because this is getting serious.

The "Other" Decision

I see ESPN held a live, hour-long special called "THE DECISION" in which free agent LeBron "King" James would annouce what team he would sign with.

Question: Why didn't ESPN devote equal time to the highly-anticipated "DECISION" of Timberwolves free agent Center Darko Milicic, who eventually resigned with Minnesota?

Does this smack of favoritism? What the hell is really going on here?

Jeff