As I watched Orlando Hudson strike out last night with the bases loaded to end the 8th inning, I noticed White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski pumping his fist in the air and yelling something at the fans behind the Sox bench. I thought to myself that Pierzynski is an Absolute Jackass (get it - AJ?). He is a total prick. I also thought to myself that the Twins need an Absolute Jackass on their team right now. Forget mustaches, the Twins need that type of "fire" from somebody - anybody.
As you all know, Pierzynski used to be a Twin, so the fans love to boo him whenever he comes to bat. They love to scream at him when he's on the field. But I will say that they miss his fire.
The 2010 Minnesota Twins are a team absolutely devoid of spunk. Think about past players that would run through a brick wall for the team to win - Puckett, Gladden, Gaetti, Brunansky, Morris, Hrbek, Knoblauch (early 90's version), Hunter, Guardado. Hell, even Mike Redmond and Steve Lombardozzi. And remember the impact that Orlando Cabrera made on the team last year? He's gone too. Name ONE player on this year's team that fills that description.
Look, I do not question this team's effort or desire to win, they simply seem comatose on and off of the field. The entire pitching staff looks like a boy scout troupe. Well, except for Jon Rauch, who LOOKS insane but is really the nicest guy you'd ever meet. His neck tattoos are supposedly a tribute to his kids. Baker? Slowey?? There are kids in my son's 10-year old league that are more intimidating. Even Gardenhire seems nicer this year. I can't remember the last time he got tossed from a game. I can't remember the last time he kicked his hat in the air. What the hell is going on?
The players in leadership positions on the Twins are also known as quiet guys who like to lead with their play on the field. Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau, Michael Cuddyer. All great guys. And they'll watch your kids for you after the game if you ask them to. The Twins are the only team in the league with a broadcaster (Gladden) that gets more fired up than the players. If Gary Gaetti (mid-80's version) was on this team he's be treated like Hannibal Lecter. He'd be in the corner of the locker room with a beer, smoking and yelling at guys. They would probably benefit from that, too.
There is not one guy on the Twins that I would be afraid for them to take my daughter to the prom. Even Rausch. Geez, I'd hand them the car keys and tell them to be back by Monday. I wouldn't have a concern in the world. It would be like something out of Norman Rockwell.
Now, I wouldn't even let my daughter in the same ROOM as A.J. Prezynski.
All of this "niceness" is fine and dandy unless you are trying to win a pennant. The 2010 Twins may become the most talented, and most polite, team to ever finish third.
Somebody kick over a garbage can. Dump over some Gatorade. Maybe even swear once, even.
But do something, because this is getting serious.
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12 comments:
Your prom date on Monday comment may have been the best line in the history of this blog.
I agree with the "nice" Twins thing. Joe Mauer markets milk.
Thanks Dave. I picture them with light blue tuxedos with "TC" on the lappelle.
But they'd look good.
I was at the game. You never had the sense the Twins had enough energy to get the job done the last few innings.
Are you going to the reuinion?
-Pedo
Hey Pedo - I happened to be at the game last night, and a bit of the spunk was back, so that was good. They probably read this post, no question.
I will most likely be at the reunion although I haven't officially responded to the invitation yet. I have been informed that I may be attending "solo" this year. Something to do with me singing Journey karaoke - with YOU! : )
I actually thought we were pretty good - especially on Faithfully.
Are you going?
Yes, I will be wearing tight pants and hopefully my mustache will be grown in by then. We should get Jase and practice a trio to "Sister Christian".
In all seriousness, a pick up game of tennis ball baseball is in order.
The fast pitch or slow pitch version? Either would be fantastic.
Also, I'll start working on a mustache right now so it's nice and bushy by the reunion.
saw hole on friday night. courtney love kicks ass-tony
tony - I read good reviews of that show in the Strib. It sounds like she was somewhat under control.
From certain media reports, it sounds like she kinda freaked out in Washington DC.
one of the best concerts ever. 3 rows from the front. felt like a teen at a back street boys concert. she used to strip here in mpls when she lived here in 87-89. gotta love that. she is the female equal to axl roze
Twins wind 3 of 4. We can all get back off the ledge.
How bout Hudson? He can talk with the best of them.
Free - After watching Baker, I'm back on the ledge.
Gilby - I'm not sure if Hudson would be a leader, but you are 100% correct that he is talking constantly. I can't see him kicking over a garbage can though. If he did, he'd be smiling the entire time.
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