NFC (Norris) North Prognostications

It's that time again. The Fair is done, school has started and there is a hint of fall in the air. It's time to predict the outcome of the NFC North Division. I'm not really sure why I keep predicting the outcome of sports as I have not been real accurate (i.e Cleveland Indians = 2009 AL Central champs) but what the heck. So.....here were my 2008 NFC North predictions:

1. Packers: 9 - 7 (actually 6-10)
2. Vikings: 8 - 8 (actually 10-6)
3. Detroit: 6-10 (actually 0-16)
4. Bears: 5-11 (actually 9-7)

Not so good. But, it's worth another shot this year. I actually think the NFC North will be a much better division this year because of the upgrade to the quarterbacks. Aaron Rodgers is solid in Green Bay, Jay (punk) Cutler joined the Bears and (as you may have heard) Brett Favre is with the Vikes.

With the Vikes specifically, I like the addition of Percy Harvin and what he brings to the offense. The defense is solid, and the return of E.J. Henderson from an injury brings an All-Pro linebacker back into the fold. Of course, the Vikings have arguably the best player in football in running back Adrian Peterson. On the negative side, it is unknown what effect Brett Favre will have on the offense, and how long it will take him to adjust to his third team in three years. Also, the "Williams Wall" court ruling could suspend Kevin and Pat Williams for four games if they are found guilty of using a banned substance. That would be a huge blow to the defense.

So, with those details in mind, here are my 2009 NFC North predictions:

1. Packers: 11-5
2. Vikings: 9-7 (wild card)
3. Bears: 8-8
4. Lions: 2-14 (sorry dools)

I'm going on vibes with the Packers winning the division. They seem to bounce back from poor years well, and I do think Aaron Rodgers is the best QB in the division. I'd like to think that Brett Favre is the "final piece of the puzzle" for the Vikings, but that does not seem to be How Things Go for this team. They certainly do not seem to have Karma on their side.

So what do you think? How will the NFC North end up this year?

Sasquatch Sighting - He's Back!

I know people have been yearning for the latest Sasquatch news. Freealonzo demanded an update in the comments section on my last post, and I could feel his rage. I realize it has been too long. You see, the Stink Ape can go long periods of time (decades, in fact) without allowing himself (or herself) to be spotted. We've been in one of those droughts recently. There really has been no news.

So, I was searching for the latest tidbits on the BFRO website (as I am sure you have been) and came across this little ditty. Check out the letter "A" on the map above. Get this - there will be a BFRO expedition in NORTHERN MINNESOTA this month - September 17-20th! For a mere $300 "investigator fee," anyone can have a chance to camp with the professionals and search for Bigfoot in areas of Minnesota that he has been spotted. Now, at first I thought they meant Coon Rapids, but they are talking about far northern Minnesota in the woods. Now, each person is responsible for their own food, drinks, beverages, camping gear, transpiration and clothing - it's a bargain! There are some rules - you have to be 21 and be able to walk and (just in case) run. Guns are not allowed. You may carry a knife, a machete, a spear, pepper spray, etc. Why no guns? Here is a quote from the web site:

"There are no modern reports of sasquatches attacking humans. They will sometimes approach and intimidate human intruders at night, but not attack them. You are not putting yourself at risk by not carrying a gun, but you are potentially putting everyone else at risk if you are carrying a gun."

Right on. You wouldn't want somebody spraying the entire camp site with an AK-47 just because some baby Sasquatch was trying to steal the hot dogs.

Anyway, I bet you are thinking that this is the Sasquatch news that I was going to drop on all of you. Well, it was - until today. As CR alerted me today - there has been a sighting. Just when you thought we'd go into the fall without any new photos, the Sasquatch has shown himself in Kentucky. You see, a mysterious beast was trampling a residents garden, so he set up a surveillance camera to see who or what the culprit was. Probably a bear, right? NO! Check it out:

That, my friends, is The Sasquatch. I saw this report on CNN.com and they tried to pass this off as a Bear (of course) and even a "bag blowing in the wind." Hey - does a bag have hair and arms? No! This is the Sasquatch. It looks like he's trying to find a morsel of food in a bucket or something. If you watch the CNN report, however, the Kentucky resident who filmed the beast in his own backyard seems rather non-chalant about the whole thing. He refuses to believe this image is The Sasquatch. Lets see gets the last laugh when this happens to him.

Right on.

Jeff

The Minnesota State Fair - A Metaphor For Life

My family and I made our annual journey to the Minnesota State Fair last Thursday. This is something we've done, well, annually. Even as a lad growing up in Eau Claire, we'd make the trek over to St. Paul each August to visit my sister and to attend the fair. It's just something you do. In Minnesota, the fair represents the "unofficial official" end of summer. It closes on Labor Day, and the youth generally start school the next day, much to their chagrin. Because of this, there is usually a feeling of apprehension mixed in with the fun that fair-goers experience. Can the snow be far behind?

Each year, I look forward to going to the fair. The food is excellent, and there is a lot to experience. (I do find it odd, however, that you can get your blood pressure and cholesterol checked right across from the cheese curd vendor). And, you will find no better place on Earth to people-watch than the Minnesota State Fair. On any given day you will see representatives from all "types" people. You will see city-slickers and many "rather rural-looking" folks. You will see big and small people at the fair. In fact, you will see big, bigger and biggest people at the fair. Lots of family's with young kids and massive strollers. LOTS of old people. Some are unbelievably and shockingly old, and more power to them for dragging themselves out to the fair to be amongst the crowds. After all, they could have just stayed at home in Roseville or stuck around the House of Wong (locals will understand that reference).

You also see a lot of people that my wife's family grew up referring to as "hesh." "Hesh" is a term to describe a specific type of burnout, or a "hesher." The hesher guys all smoke and have either shaved heads or mullets and wife-beater t-shirts. Lots of tattoos with skulls and fire. They usually have the "saggin" pants with enormous, untied "DC" shoes and a necklace. The hesh women are either slightly rotund or frighteningly skinny and smoke and have lots of tattoos. A must is a high, tight pony tail. This is essential. They wear black skinny jeans that are a size (or two) too small and "DC" shoes. You will see these most-likely see these folks in the Midway.

Speaking of the Midway, a deep thought came to me while watching my son try and win a stuffed monkey in the Midway by knocking down blocks with a massive squirt gun. It struck me that this fair is a metaphor for life in general. As previously stated, every type of person is represented at the fair - rich, poor, smart, dumb, young, old, healthy, really-not healthy. The fair is basically a microcosm of our society in general.

Now, at one end of the fair, you have the Creative Activities Building. This is the clean-livin' section of the fair (near the farm machinery exhibits). Square-dancing takes place in this area. The aforementioned Creative Activities Building features crafts, art, quilts and wholesome goodness. This building is run by mainly well-meaning Scandinavians who have lived a long life through good-livin' and probably have never uttered a swear word or thought an unpleasant thought. Many have sweatshirts with teddy bears that say "World's Greatest Grandma" and stuff like that. I must say that I felt like kind of a heathen while walking through this building the other day. I felt unworthy and kind of like a bad person. I like beer, after all. I have cursed in my life. Geez, I feel bad again.

Then, at the opposite end, you have the Midway. Music blaring, strobe lights, hellish rides with spray-painted pictures of Madonna, Slash and Eminem plastered on the sides. Lots of "hesh" stuff going on. Cigarette smoke wafts through the air. Carneys with neck tattoos screaming at you to "play their game 'cuz you can't lose" and win an over sized stuffed banana. Unreal. In this area of the fair, I felt like a combination of Shakespeare, Lance Armstrong and Brad Pitt.

Just as the ends of the fair represent the similar "ends of society," the middle portion of the fair represents the middle ground of society. Many different kinds of food to choose from. Some rides, but not the ones that make you puke. Lots of people walking around that aren't necessarily saints or criminals. In the middle of all this, by the way, is my neighbor Tito Jackson's stand called "Custard's Last Stand." (He sells this mocha frozen custard that is the tastiest morsel that I have had in all of my years at the fair.) It is fitting that his stand is in this "middle ground" since he's kind of a "middle guy" too. I felt most at ease in the middle portion of the fair, just as I do in the so-called middle portion of society. I like hanging out and having a few beers with the guys, but I don't have to rob a liquor store to get it. You know what I am saying? Pretty deep thoughts, huh?

So, another State Fair and another summer comes to an end. Can the snow be far behind?

Klobuchar on Favre

There is a lot of crap being written right now on the Brett Favre saga, and rightfully so. Just for "fun" one evening, I checked out some Viking, Packer and Bear blogs online and was (surprisingly) amazed at the level of hatred, angst, insults and on the flip side love, adulation and praise being hurled at Favre and the Viking and Packer franchises. The odd part to me, as I wrote in one of my posts, to have much of the "love" being written from the Viking perspective and most of the "hate" coming from the Packer perspective - a complete 180. The Bear blogs, of course, hate everything which is no surprise.

Leave it to Jim Klobuchar, one of the finest local writers of all-time in my opinion, to write a piece on Favre that speaks in common sense rather than emotion. He wrote it for the MinnPost web site, and I think it's worth a read. Here it is. Let me know what you think.

Perhaps the oddest thing of all is that I have gone from mocking Brett Favre on this blog to (sort of) defending him. Why? My own bias. He's a Viking instead of a Packer - no other reason. It's going to be a strange season.


Jeff

Target Field Grass Installed - And A Controversy!

The new grass is being installed in Target Field this week, which is the kind of event that has me hyperventilating into a bag (seriously). After 27 years of playing baseball on a cement-like carpet, the Minnesota Twins will finally get to play baseball on "the real stuff" in 2010.

The installation of the grass is not without controversy, however. We all know that nothing - absolutely nothing- happens in this day in age without controversy. People are waiting and itching to be offended. You see, the grass being installed in Target Field was grown in.... (gasp!)........Colorado! The Twins decided to go with a Colorado company called Graffs which specializes in growing grass for stadiums. They have supplied grass for Wrigley Field, Busch Stadium, Coors Field and Norte Dame football, among others.

Virtually every media outlet in the Twin Cities today featured stories from pissed off Minnesota sod farmers claiming that they should have been selected to provide the grass for Target Field. From today's StarTribune:

Minnesota turf farmers are complaining that they were not given a chance to grow the sod locally. They have pointed out the added expense of contracting with Graff's and shipping the turf all the way from Colorado in refrigerated trucks.

"I think we could have done it certainly for less," said Gary Blocker, who farms sod 50 miles northwest of Duluth and is president of the Minnesota Turf Association. "They are getting a good product, but we wish it would have come from Minnesota."

Attached to this story in the Strib are, of course, numerous comments from assorted anonymous readers and wing nuts who are claiming that "the Twins don't care about Minnesota" and "haven't used Minnesota products on the stadium so why should we support them anyway."

OK. Let's everyone take a Valium, calm down (including "ukrbattle29" from the comments section, who apparently he, himself, had a hand in growing grass for Met stadium)and look at the facts. First, according to Dan Mehls, the Ballpark Coordinator for Mortenson Construction, 90% of construction costs will be spent on Minnesota materials and labor. For instance, all the limestone you see on the exterior of the ballpark is from Mankato. Minnesota.

Second, according to the article, the sod farms that were approached in Minnesota and Wisconsin had no experience growing grass for sports stadiums. None. Here's a quote from the Strib article:

"...the company and the team talked with sod farmers in Minnesota and Wisconsin two years ago about getting them to provide the turf. But none of the local farmers had the proper growing sand or the expertise that the company was looking for as it created a professional baseball playing field, Mehls said Tuesday.

"They were willing to do the job, but it would have been their first time," he said. "That's not the place to take a risk. We're talking about the playing field of a Major League park."

I'll just say that, personally, I am glad the Twins decided to go with a company that has had prior experience growing grass for professional and college stadiums. I don't want the first real grass in a Minnesota MLB ballpark in 27 years to look like my backyard.

As I stated, this "non-issue" is just another reason for people to bitch and moan and find controversy and conspiracy.

Good thing I never bitch and moan and find controversy and conspiracy on this blog!

Peace,

Jeff

What Is Happening?

August 20th, 2009:

We live in a world in which Packer fans hate Brett Favre.

We live in a world in which Viking fans love Brett Favre.

We live in a world in which Packer fans are mocking Brett Favre and calling him a redneck.

We live in a world in which Vikings fans are calling Brett Favre the savior of their football team.

We live in a world in which Packer fans are burning Brett Favre jerseys.

We live in a world in which Viking fans are buying Brett Favre jerseys faster than stores can stock them.

I want to know what the hell is going on.

Jeff

Now Entering a Parallel Universe

First off, I have to give credit where credit is due. Jase (a die-hard Packer fan) has been right every step of the way with this crazy Favre thing. He has been the voice of reason, and 100% correct on each of Favre's next steps.

Secondly, regarding my July 28th Favre post: Nevermind.

I have to admit that I am a little giddy. As I have said, however, this has the potential to either turn this franchise around or backfire - big time. It's time to buckle up, folks. We're in for a very strange ride.

Jeff