Winter Sports - Nearing the End

As winter nears it's end (thankfully), it is time for an update on the local winter sports teams. Here is what is going on:

Minnesota Gopher Hockey – The Gophers are headed to the WCHA Final Five at the X to take on St. Cloud in the “play-in game” Thursday night. The Gophs were fortunate to overcome Minnesota State (that’s Mankato for God sakes) in a three game series that took 6 years, 3 months, 2 weeks and a day to complete. Actually, 1 game went into overtime and 2 into double-overtime before the Gophers prevailed. If it wasn’t for the stellar goaltending of Freshman Alex Kangas, the players would probably be sulking back in their dorm rooms right now. I think the Gophers have finally found their goalie, folks. Kangas is good, which is fortunate because the Gophers have a very hard time scoring. I never really thought I’d see the day when this team had a great goalie and no scoring. We may be, once again, entering a parallel universe.

The Gophers are going to need more stellar goaltending from Kangas and hope for a low-scoring game if they hope to advance past St. Cloud in the WCHA Final 5. They have something to play for, however. Senior Tom Pohl sustained a severe head injury and had to be air-lifted to the Mayo Clinic for surgery on Sunday night. It looks like he is going to be OK, which is great news. His injury and recovery may even provide this team a spark to rally around. Who knows – they may even have a rematch with the Canadians of North Dakota.

Minnesota Gophers Basketball – NIT bound. Enough said. The future looks bright with Tubby and his recruits, though.

Minnesota Timberwolves – Break them up! This resurgent squad has won 4 of their last 6 games and now has 16 victories on the season! Oh, and 50 losses. Miami is a virtual lock for the worst record. The Wolves will probably finish with the 2nd or 3rd worst record in the NBA, meaning they will end up with the 10th pick in the lottery. Somehow the Lakers will get the top pick. Don’t ask me how.

And then there is this curious quote today from Wolves owner Glen Taylor about his team “tanking games (i.e playing Mark Madsen)” down the stretch during the past couple of years to secure a top draft pick. From today’s Startribune.com:

“I don’t like that so much, I don’t like that,” Taylor said of the notion the Wolves tanked last season. “It was more like, I’d say, K.G. tanked it.”

Taylor said Garnett took himself out of the lineup with five games to play last season for what the team called an injured quadriceps muscle.

“The other guys still wanted to play and stuff like this here,” Taylor said. “But it sure changed the team. It didn’t make us as (good). We wanted to play Randy (Foye) and some of the other younger guys. But this year, if they win, they win.”

Oh boy. According to Taylor, Garnett was the problem last year. He was "tanking it." That statement contradicts everything that has ever been said about Garnett's work ethic. It makes you wonder why Taylor is bringing this up now. In case you were wondering, the Timberwolves brass has been known to say, and do, some interesting things throughout time. Most of it stupid.

There is going to be some gnashing of teeth over this statement. Garnett’s agent, Andy Miller, has already fired back and called Taylor’s comments “without merit.” Interesting. I don’t think we’ve heard the last on this topic.

Minnesota Wild – The Wild represent Minnesota's only hope for a playoff run in 2007/2008, which is scary. This team could go on a playoff run or miss the playoffs all together. They won a HUGE game against hated Colorado last night 3-1. Niklas Backstrom was unbelieveable in goal, and Brent Burns continued to make a bid for the team’s Most Improved Player. The victory put the Wild in sole possession of first place in the Northwest before this brutal road trip to end the week:

@ San Jose (Gulp!)
@Vancouver (Crap! Maybe a point?)
@ Calgary (They never win there! Damn you Kippersoff!)
@ Edmonton (A toss up!)

The Wild have 9 games left in the regular season. Much like the Gophers, much rests with the goaltending because they are having a hard time scoring.

We’ll see. It will be an interesting month!

Jeff

Har Mar Update

It's been months since I have written about everyone's favorite shopping complex in the Twin Cities, Har-Mar Mall. Yes, Shitdale. Much has happened since that last post. The theatres that smelled like an odd combination of B.O. and pepperoni have closed and have been replaced by a modern 14-screen multiplex at nearby Rosedale Mall. The Firestone Tires that ripped me off countless times (I always thought I was getting a good deal) has been demolished. Fresh coats of paint and a modern facade have been added to parts of both the exterior and interior of the mall. And get this - a Staples store (yes, that's right) is going in where the theatres used to be (so you can buy folders that smell like pepperoni and B.O.) and a D’Amico & Sons restaurant will grace the land that the Firestone used to sit on. I checked out the Har Mar web site and they even have a new slogan - "Shopping For Real Life." Like as in "We know you're not going to come here for cool stuff. You're going to come here for socks."

Lipstick on a pig, people.

Look, Har-Mar needs to be kept Shitty (I am working on a trademark for that - with shirts and bumper stickers). No upgrade is needed here. Plus, it's won't work. Adding a Staples and D’Amico & Sons at Har Mar is like serving Dom Perignon with Burger King. Well, sort of. Thank God that store where you can take old black and white photos and make them color is still there. And the pet store. And that women's clothing store that sells dresses for the hooker's prom (Dress Barn?). Check out this statement from the Har Mar web site:

"Since New York-based Emmes Realty Services acquired Har Mar two years ago, Vice President Richard Coles said, the company has come to see the mall that dates back to 1961 as an undiscovered gem in need of some new tenants and remodeling.

“Har Mar is one of the most exciting opportunities we’ve come across in 10 years,” he said.
Population density, traffic on busy Snelling Avenue, a SuperTarget across the street and nearby Rosedale Center all help position Har Mar as a prime location, Coles said. Retail observers also maintain that stores in Roseville experience some of the highest sales volumes in the Twin Cities.

Coles said he saw for himself how popular Har Mar was on a cold November night in 2006 when he walked into the mall and saw shoppers everywhere. “In spite of itself with two antiquated movie theaters, frankly eyesore movie theaters, Har Mar was doing tremendous business,” he said."

Now wait a minute. I want to know what "cold November night in 2006 when shoppers were everywhere" this Coles guy is talking about. There must have been some big-time craft boutique going on. Look, I've been in Har Mar on some cold November (and warm June, July and August) nights in which a guy could streak naked while screaming into a bullhorn and not get noticed. But that is why I love the place. Hey, if I need shoes at Famous Footwear, good parking is virtually guaranteed! You want a slice of pizza at the walk-in Dominoes? Hell, come on back in the kitchen and make it yourself!


We do not need another copy-cat mall just like all of the other "Dales." We need a shitty mall, no - we need OUR shitty mall, just like it has always been. Arts and Crafts shows (like the one to the right)! Coloring contests! Used book shops! Uneven floors and odd smells!



Say it with me people - KEEP HAR-MAR SHITTY!


Jeff

A Bad Day Vs. A Really Bad Day

I attended yesterday's Wild game against the hated San Jose Sharks with The Graminator. The Wild were outplayed most of the game by a very good Sharks team and lost in a shootout 3-2. On the upside, they scored a goal to tie the game and gained a point in the standings to remain in first place. On the downside, if they lose a couple of games they might not just fall out of first place, they might not make the playoffs. The Western Conference is so tight, teams almost have to win every game down the stretch to make the playoffs.

The Wild are in a tough spot. Their power play sucks and their goaltenders are giving up goals at the most inopportune times. They are "gripping their sticks a little too tight" as Jacques Lemaire would say. How bad has their luck been? Check out this picture from overtime in yesterday's game. With Evgeni Nabokov, the Sharks goalie, out of the position, The Wild sent a shot flipping towards the middle of the goal. The game-winning shot, right?

No! The shot gets batted out of mid-air like a baseball by the Sharks Patrick Marleau, and the Sharks go on to win in a shootout. Nice.

But, hey, not matter how bad a day the Wild had, it doesn't match the bummer of a time had by New York Governor Eliot Spitzer. You see Spitzer has been accused of soliciting prostitutes. Here is more according to a CNN.com report:

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Federal prosecutors have unsealed an affidavit that details a rendezvous in a Washington hotel room last month between a prostitute and a client who a source tells CNN was New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer.

Spitzer, who is married with three children, went before reporters Monday to confess to an undisclosed personal indiscretion, saying he had acted "in a way that violates my obligations to my family, that violates my or any sense of right and wrong."

His alleged involvement with the ring was caught on a federal wiretap, the source said.
The prostitute, identified only as "Kristen" worked for the Emperors Club, which charged between $1,000 and $5,500 an hour and operated in New York; Los Angeles, California; Miami, Florida; London, England; and Paris, France, according to court papers.

According to the affidavit, defendant Temeka Rachelle Lewis -- who is accused of working as a booking agent for the club -- wrote a text message Monday, February 11, asking the operation's day-to-day organizer to "pls let me know if (Client-9's) 'package' arrives 2mrw. Appt wd be on Wed." Prosecutors say the message was a reference to a deposit.
On Tuesday, according to the affidavit, Lewis sent a message to Kristen, saying Client-9's deposit had not arrived but she should be able to "do the trip" if it arrived the next day.

The affidavit says that, about 5 p.m. Tuesday, February 12, Lewis spoke with Client-9 on the telephone and told him that his "package arrived today." The client asked Lewis whom he would be meeting and, when told it was Kristen, said, "Great, OK, wonderful."

The two discussed how the woman would get a key to his room for a Wednesday rendezvous and how they could arrange credit for future services.

"Client-9 asked Lewis to remind him what Kristen looked like and Lewis said that she was an American, petite, very pretty brunette, 5 feet 5 inches and 105 pounds," the affidavit reads.
In a call to Lewis, Client 9 was told the balance would be $2,712.41, but Lewis suggested he give Kristen $1,500 or $2,000 more so that he would have a credit.

According to the affidavit, Kristen called Lewis about 9:32 p.m. Wednesday, February 13, and told her she was in Client-9's room -- No. 871 -- at the Washington hotel.
Four minutes later, Client-9 was in the hotel, Lewis told Kristen in another call.

No more calls were logged until 12:02 a.m. Thursday -- Valentine's Day -- nearly 2½ hours later. At that time, Kristen told Lewis Client-9 had left and she had collected $4,300.
Lewis told the prostitute she'd been told that Client-9 "would ask you to do things that, like, you might not think are safe -- you know -- I mean that ... very basic things," the affidavit says.

Yeah, personally I'll take the shootout loss. What is this guy thinking? Do these guys think they won't get caught? Hell, my wife knows when I've had an extra beer. Do they know that their indiscretions will be broadcast in public? Have they heard of the Internet? Where do you think guys like me find this stuff out? Check out this picture:

The looks on their faces say it all:

Governor Spitzer: "Geez, I never thought I'd get caught! I'm the Governor!"

Wife: "Tonight I'm going to kill you in your sleep with a rolling pin."

I am not trying to make light of this situation. I understand that this is a tragic event, and has bad ramifications for this family. I just do not understand why these guys think they will get away with this kind of stuff?

Have they heard of You Tube?

Jeff

(P)Rick From The Young Ones

As you can see from the comments on the previous post, Jase and I got going on a little Young Ones theme. For those of you that did not attend the University of Leinenkugels (Eau Claire), the Young Ones was a British comedy from the early '80's that had exactly 12 episodes. It was easily the most quoted show during our stay at the U of L, and possibly the most underrated show in the existence of Man. The greatest character, in my opinion, was Rick, spelled with a silent "P." (P)Rick was a leftist - an anarchic student who did not believe in rules or "The Pigs" until he was threatened. When he was threatened in any way, he was first to contact the authorities. Even though he thought he was quite popular, he was not well-liked. He hated Thatcher and hippies and "horrid old people." He stood up for "The Kids." Cliff Richard was his idol. He hated the idea of property ownership - unless it was his property. I would easily put him in my top 5 characters of all time list (a future post). Here are some of (P)Rick's greatest quotes:

"Well of course things have changed, you senile old git."

"I suppose you think it's pretty weird, don't you Mike? Well, you'd be right, cause that's the sort of guy I am. I suppose that's why I go over people's heads, a bit like an aeroplane."

"God, I'm bored. I might as well be listening to Genesis."

"Ah ha! missed both my legs!!!"

"Why, what are you planning to do - photosynthesize?"

"Oh, God! Oh, God, I've killed a hippie! I've killed a hippie, and now I'll have to pay. Oh, God. Vyvyan's bound to tell on me, and I'll get sent to prison and raped in the shower by Mr. Big who's in with the wardens."

"Finally, a world free from hatred and discrimination. GET UP NEIL, I HATE YOU!!"

"Neil, the bathroom's free, unlike the country under the current Thatcherite junta."

"Pollution
all around
sometimes up sometimes down
But always around
Pollution
are you coming to my town
or am I coming to yours?
We're on different buses, pollution
but we're both using petrol
BOMBS"

Those of you that were at 136 Chippewa Street on Sunday nights at the University of Leinenkugles will know exactly what all of those mean.

Boom Shanka,

Jeff

End of an Era?

Well, I don't know what to say. I was caught off guard today when I heard the news.

Brett Favre has retired.

Once every generation an adversary comes along that causes a person to lose sleep. Causes a person to lose enamel on their teeth because of extensive gritting. Causes a person to rip out what little hair they have left. Causes a person to cuss like a pirate when they normally don't swear much.

Brett Favre was this guy for me. Brett Favre was a worthy adversary. Even though he drove me insane for 16 years, I had to admire the guy. He is a first-ballot Hall of Fame Quarterback - no question. He pulled out games that he had no business pulling out, and with a smile on his face. I got a little sick of John Madden's non-sexual (?) crush on the guy, but he was correct in most of his gushing.

I have only cheered for one guy in my life that I would put on par with Brett Favre, and that is Kirby Puckett. Puckett and Favre both played for the love of the game and saved their best for the Big Games. They both won championships. Teammates loved them. Opponents hated to play against them, but respected them as players and individuals.

Losing a guy like Favre can have an immense effect on a team, on and off of the field. His leadership and ability to bring the best out of his teammates cannot be measured. Hey, the Vikings have been trying to find a Quarterback since 1979 after Fran Tarkenton retired. Tommy Kramer was pretty effective but he never won anything. The Packers went from Bart Starr in the 1960's to Brett Favre in 1992 with a load of crap at QB in between. That is 25 years of Scott Hunter, John Hadl, David Whitehurst, Lynn Dickey, Randy Wright, The Majik Man. Wow. Favre is once in a generation.

I still don't know what to think. I'm a little confused about the timing of Favre's retirement. With the Packers reaching the NFC Championship game this year, I thought he would stick around for at least one more year. Could it really be that not signing Randy Moss lead to this decision?

Who knows. Favre might get bored at home this summer. Mowing the lawn. Taking out the garbage. Wondering if he made the right decision. I will really believe he has retired when I see Aaron Rodgers at the helm in September. It's like when people thought Godzilla was dead when he submerged into the ocean. Was he really gone for good?

In the meantime, I like the Vikings chances in the NFC North a little better today than I did yesterday.

Peace,

Jeff

Vikes - Spending Some Money

I am not one who believes that a football team can be built through Free Agency. A football team is built through the draft. However, a team certainly can be improved through Free Agency depending on who is being replaced. So far, the Minnesota Vikings have signed three free agents. It's nice to see them spend some money. And let's face the facts - Zygi's team has got to start making the playoffs again in a consistent manner to get the public back on their side. Here is a look at who they have brought in and who they are replacing:

Bernard Berrian, WR, From the Chicago Bears: It's always nice to nab someone from the Hated Bears. No question Berrian is the the biggest signing of the three. The Vikings lacked a number one receiver last year and now they have that guy, as long as T-Jack can get him the ball. Berrian will compliment Sidney Rice and having a serious threat at wide receiver will help prevent the opposing defense from keying on the running game. The Vikes probably overpaid for Berrian, but that is the nature of Free Agency.

And let's not forget that he replaces Troy Williamson. What more do you have to say about that? I will really miss those balls bouncing off of Williamson's shoulder pads and helmet. With the Vikings luck, however, Williamson will turn into the next Jerry Rice with Jacksonville. The one thing that concerns me about this signing is that the Vikes have not had the greatest luck with receivers from the Bears in the past. We'll see.

Madieu Williams, S, From the Cincinnati Bengals: Since Willams comes from the AFC, I don't know much about him. But he is replacing Dwight ("Hello Officer, I was just smoking some pot") Smith. Because of this, I like the signing. In addition, here is what Kevin Seifert wrote about Williams in today's StarTribune:

Before departing Winter Park on Saturday afternoon, Madieu Williams sought out Vikings community relations director Brad Madson.

"He wanted to visit Children's Hospital," Madson said. "Today."

Madson made some phone calls, and a few hours later Williams was touring the hospital's campus at the University of Minnesota. Along with sharp coverage skills, Williams also brought a deep interest in community service when he signed a six-year, $33 million contract to be the Vikings' new free safety.

Geez, I already like him better than Dwight Smith, who has signed with the Detroit Lions, by the way. Dools?

Thomas Tapeh, FB, From the Philadelphia Eagels: Tapeh is a former St. Paul Johnson and University of Minnesota graduate that was brought in to replace Tony Richardson and block for Adrian Peterson. He also has good hands to catch some passes out of the backfield. Tapeh is much younger than Richardson, so the Vikes should get a few good years out of him. Also, from what I understand, he is a good guy. I mention this because I am sick of idiots playing for the Vikings.

As the draft approaches, the Vikings need to address their pass-rushing Defensive End situation. The situation being that they basically don't have any pass-rushing Defensive Ends. Oh, and they could certainly use a veteran Quarterback for insurance just in case T-Jack is incompetent.

More on that later. That is all for now.

Jeff

Eau Claire Memorial - 2007-08 WI State Hockey Champs!

Congratulations to my alma mater, the Eau Claire Memorial Old Abes! Today, they became the 2007-2008 Wisconsin High School Hockey champions by ousting Madison Edgewood 3-1 in the state tournament. The #1 ranked Old Abes finished the season undefeated!

Nice work boys!

Jeff