Hollyweird

I tend to blog about happenings in Hollywood about as much as my wife blogs about stadium issues - which is Nil. However, due to some recent Hollywood events, I feel compelled to let all of you know what I think.

I think 99.9998% of Hollywood has gone insane (up from 98.7775% previously). Another thing that I have noticed through my vast research is that Hollywood females are going insane at a much faster rate than males. More on that later.

Within the past few weeks, here are some of the events that have occurred:

1. Lindsay Lohan has checked herself into rehab for alcohol abuse. One minor detail - she is not even legal to drink yet. She must have an outstanding fake ID.

2. Nicole Richie was arrested for a DUI. And rumor has it - get this - it was not her first one. I will give Nicole the benefit of the doubt on this one, however, because she weighs 47 pounds. She probably had half a glass of chardonnay and was just hammered.

3. Anna Nicole Smith, well, died. I simply do not have the time or space to go into detail on this one. Tragically, her son also died recently, which could send anyone into insanity. But, folks, Anna was on the fast track way before that. Let's just say that she recently had a baby and 23 men (including Patrick Ruesse!) and three women are claiming to be the father.

4. Paris Hilton. Nothing specific happened with Paris. She simply continues to be crazy in every aspect of her existence.

5. Britney Spears. What can you say? When someone with no talent and a hillbilly upbringing gets fame and fortune instantly heaped on them, something has to snap.

And it did.

Let's just say that Britney started hanging out with every other aforementioned Hollywood chick, and nothing good can come of that. My sources tell me that Britney has been partying quite hard, and even checked into rehab (must have a "buy 5, get 1 free" rate) and checked out a day later. The day Britney checked herself out, she did this:

http://www.people.com/people/gallery/0,,20011773,00.html

What the hell? Now, as previously mentioned, Britney has always lacked talent and class, but I never thought she was ugly. I always thought she was kind of pretty in a "Maplewood Mall sort of way." Well, throw that out the window. She was quoted as saying that "her mom's going to freak" about the haircut. Britney, if I was your mother, I'd be worried about some other behaviors way before the bald head. I do not see a good end to this story. Although maybe her next record will be really awesome and pull her out of this mess.......... RIGHT?

What is going on with these gals? Are they trying to be the next Rat Pack or something? The Rat Pack had class, talent and panache, however. These chicks, in some cases, just have rich fathers that simply aren't paying attention. I cringe when I hear that these Hollywood gals might be looked at as "role models" for young girls. If that is the case, we're in for a whole lot of trouble, and soon. If the day comes when society looks at males over females as examples of manners, moderation and class, the End Days might not be far off.

Peace,

Jeff