Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Sort of Conflicted

I have to admit that I am sort of conflicted about this late Twins run. As of today, they are 2 1/2 games out of first place behind the Detroit Tigers. Normally, the Twins in a pennant-chase is a wonderful thing. Why, this year, am I conflicted? Here is why:

1. The division is horrible, and whoever wins the thing will get to play the (hated) New York Yankees, which has the makings of a first-round sweep. The Twins went 0-7 against the Yankees this year, although they played them pretty tough. I just don't think the Twins pitching can hold up against the Yankees store-bought superstars.

2. The Twins just aren't a real good team. I officially wrote them off on August 13th. It would be one thing if they were sitting with 90 wins and competing in a good division, but they are 78-73 and basically feasting on bad teams. But they can't beat anyone from the AL East to save their lives.

3. Winning the division would send GM Bill Smith into the delusional state of thinking that their talent level is "good enough," and that he doesn't need to add more talent next year - their first at Target Field. That would be devastating for the long-term health of this team.

4. Some of their best players are out for the rest of the year with injuries. Jason Morneau, Kevin Slowey and Joe Crede are all out. Can they really beat the Yankees with Matt Tolbert, Jeff Manship and Brian Duensing?

5. Lastly, I have tickets to the "last game ever at the Metrodome." Hey - if they make the playoffs, that won't be the "last game ever at the Metrodome." I kind of wanted to experience that with my kids.

It's not like I am cheering against the Twins, mind you. That is not in my blood. I can't help but root them on against the (hated) White Sox. And, hey, anything can happen once a team makes the playoffs - remember 1987?

S0, what the hell - Go Twins! You never know what might just happen.....

Friday, September 18, 2009

The Usual Bad Vibes

I get negative vibes before virtually every Viking game, but there is something about playing the Lions that makes me extra paranoid. Maybe it's because the Lions virtually never win and went 0-16 last year, so a loss to them would be international news. It would be very "Vikingesque" to lose to the Lions in a year in which the Vikes are considered Super Bowl contenders. Hey, the Vikes beat the Lions twice last year, but had to rely on T-Jack leading a 4th Quarter comeback at Detroit (that just sounds weird) and a horrible call to win at the Metrodome.

Once again this year, the Lions can pull out all of the stops - fake punts, statue of liberty plays, quadruple reverses. What the hell?? The Vikes tend to freeze up and play very conservatively in these types of games. They've been doing that for about, oh, forty years.

So we'll see what happens. The bad vibes are there again. Hopefully the Vikings will not make international news this weekend.

Jeff

Monday, September 14, 2009

Frightening

With all the talk of Brett Favre joining the Vikings, Adrian Peterson sometimes tends to get a little lost in the shuffle. But this run against the Cleveland Browns on Sunday reminds us that Peterson, not Favre, is the heart and soul of this team. And if he remains healthy, I believe Adrian Peterson has a chance to be the top running back of all-time.

Personally, the most talented running back that I have witnessed in my lifetime was Walter Payton, followed closely by Barry Sanders. Admittedly, I never got a chance to see Gale Sayers or Jim Brown play in the 1960's. Many true football historians consider either Brown or Sayers to be the best in history. If Peterson keeps playing at the level he has since joining the Vikings from Oklahoma, he has a chance to be mentioned in the same breath as these Hall of Famers.

It should be fun to watch.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Guest Blogger Tony8489's Take On "You Lie"

Our local conservative contributor, tony8489, has asked me to post his views on the recent "You Lie!" controversy. As you may have heard, South Carolina Republican Joe Wilson screamed "You Lie" during President Obama's speech on health care. That statement has set off a firestorm of criticism and, also, support. Here is tony 8489's take, and he wanted me to let you all know that he offers equal time for other reader's rebuttles:

It all began when S.C. Republican Rep. Joe Wilson unexpectedly shouted"You lie!" during President Barack Obama's Wednesday night address to Congress. The outburst was prompted when Mr. Obama asserted during his speech that illegal immigrants would not be covered under the president's health plan. The moment the speech ended, White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emmunuel charged over to the Republicans-Reps. Ryan, Roy Blunt of Missouri, and Kevin McCarthy of California-demanding in a profanity-laced tirade that they force Mr.Wilson to apologize. The Congressman called the White House, andasked Mr. Emmanuel to convey his apology to the president. OnThursday, Mr. Obama accepted it.

The amount of hate, anger, and angst over this comment in the mainstreet media and the loony left has been nothing short of astonishing. Each party is in charge of policing its fringe elements. Let's compare the Huffington Post, arguably the Internet mouthpiece for the left, and littlegreenfootballs.com, the Internet mouthpiece for the right. Spend a little time on both, and you will quickly discover little or no policing exists on either the Huffington Post, or Moveon.org. The postings that were on HuffPo and Moveon about Dick Cheny's health problems were so shameful and disgusting they cannot be repeated here. When Ted Kennedy died, the postings on lgf.com were respectful. The ones that were not were removed by the moderator, Charles Johnson. Why is this? Why is a certain level of hate tolerated, or even encouraged in the MSM, and the political left, towards people who embrace conservatism as their expression of political belief?

*Anderson Cooper, the greatly respected CNN anchorman, called the "tea party" participants "tea baggers". He was alluding to an exotic sexual practice. Just the other day, Democratic Congresswomen, Carol Shea-Porter referred to Anti-Obama Care protesters as "tea baggers." Pretty funny, right? We are reading a lot lately about "right wing rage." Funny how you never hear about "left wing rage." Could be that"left wing rage" is not alliterative as "right wing rage" is. Or it could be that dominant commentators think of left wing rage as mere righteous indignation.

*We are also hearing about "the angry white male"-the return of the angry white males". Funny how people get all race-and gender minded on you. There are many non-whites and non-males among the conservative protesters. And what about that terrible word"males"? Have the anti-conservatives ever heard of "men"? *They say "hate" is rearing it's head, and that President Obama and the Democrats are the victims of it.

Let's make a couple of predictions: I predict that the chairman of the Republican National Committee will never say, "I hate the Democrats and everything they stand for. This is a struggle of good and evil. And we are the "good". Howard Dean said that about the GOP. "I hate the Republicans and everything they stand for....." I predict that an editor of a conservative magazine will never write a piece called "The Case for Obama Hatred," beginning, "I hate President Obama". A New Republic editor did this, about Bush. And there is increasing worry about assassination - that someone will take a shot, not just at the president, but at the first black president, which would be extra-catastrophic for the country. A few protesters have carried signs urging violence against Obama, or smacking of violence.

Let me make some more predictions: *I predict that a network talk-show will not show a video of President Obama giving a speech and put the following words on the screen: "SNIPERS WANTED." Craig Kilborn did that to George W. Bush. *I predict that US senators will not joke about killing Obama. In 2006 Bill Maher had a conversation with John Kerry. He asked Kerry what he'd gotten his wife for her birthday. Kerry said that he had treated her to a vacation in Vermont. Maher said, "You could have went to New Hampshire and killed two birds with one stone." Kerry replied, "Or I could have gone to 1600 Pennsylvania and killed the real bird with one stone." This is the same Kerry who, in 1988, said, "Somebody told me the other day that the Secret Service has orders that if George Bush is shot, they're to shoot Quayle". Then he said, "There isn't any press here, is there?

*I predict that a New York official will not tell a graduating class about assassinating President Obama. In 2006 comptroller Alan Hevesisaid to students at Queens College that Sen. Charles Schumer, his fellow Democrat, would"put a bullet between the presidents eyes if he could get away with it". *I predict that no columnist for a leading European newspaper, and leading world newspaper, will write,"John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Hinckley Jr-where are you now that we need you?" Charlie Brooker of the Guardian did that to George W. Bush.

*I predict that no major write will write a novel debating the morality of killing President Obama. Nicholson Baker did that to Bush, with "Checkpoint". *I predict that no filmmaker will make a "fictional documentary" that fantasizes-and I'm afraid that is the word-about murdering President Obama. Some Brits did that with "Death of a President" I have made very, very, safe predictions. If a CBS talk-show host pictured President Obama and said, SNIPERS WANTED, he would lose his job, of course. He would never work in the media again. I wonder what else would happen to him. I could go on, but hopefully you have heard enough. Here is my point. The type of thinking I have presented to you is in the mainstream of democratic thinking. All the way from the head of the DNC down. We all know that each side has its share of kooks. But in this case, the inmates are running the asylum.

As a Republican, I am ashamed sometimes at the political sniping and remarks that are made to the opposition. Have a little class, and show some humility. But the examples I have offered are so outrageous, all they do is make me sad. There is a website called "zombietime". and it's materials make for pretty rough, discomforting viewing. Here, the site had gathered many pictures taken at anti-Bush and anti-war rallies-and Obama rallies. They show signs and such screaming for the murder of Bush. They show pictures of Bush with a bullet through his head. They show depictions of Bush being guillotined. They show Bush being burned in effigy.Etc. etc.

"You lie", indeed.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

NFC (Norris) North Prognostications

It's that time again. The Fair is done, school has started and there is a hint of fall in the air. It's time to predict the outcome of the NFC North Division. I'm not really sure why I keep predicting the outcome of sports as I have not been real accurate (i.e Cleveland Indians = 2009 AL Central champs) but what the heck. So.....here were my 2008 NFC North predictions:

1. Packers: 9 - 7 (actually 6-10)
2. Vikings: 8 - 8 (actually 10-6)
3. Detroit: 6-10 (actually 0-16)
4. Bears: 5-11 (actually 9-7)

Not so good. But, it's worth another shot this year. I actually think the NFC North will be a much better division this year because of the upgrade to the quarterbacks. Aaron Rodgers is solid in Green Bay, Jay (punk) Cutler joined the Bears and (as you may have heard) Brett Favre is with the Vikes.

With the Vikes specifically, I like the addition of Percy Harvin and what he brings to the offense. The defense is solid, and the return of E.J. Henderson from an injury brings an All-Pro linebacker back into the fold. Of course, the Vikings have arguably the best player in football in running back Adrian Peterson. On the negative side, it is unknown what effect Brett Favre will have on the offense, and how long it will take him to adjust to his third team in three years. Also, the "Williams Wall" court ruling could suspend Kevin and Pat Williams for four games if they are found guilty of using a banned substance. That would be a huge blow to the defense.

So, with those details in mind, here are my 2009 NFC North predictions:

1. Packers: 11-5
2. Vikings: 9-7 (wild card)
3. Bears: 8-8
4. Lions: 2-14 (sorry dools)

I'm going on vibes with the Packers winning the division. They seem to bounce back from poor years well, and I do think Aaron Rodgers is the best QB in the division. I'd like to think that Brett Favre is the "final piece of the puzzle" for the Vikings, but that does not seem to be How Things Go for this team. They certainly do not seem to have Karma on their side.

So what do you think? How will the NFC North end up this year?

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Sasquatch Sighting - He's Back!

I know people have been yearning for the latest Sasquatch news. Freealonzo demanded an update in the comments section on my last post, and I could feel his rage. I realize it has been too long. You see, the Stink Ape can go long periods of time (decades, in fact) without allowing himself (or herself) to be spotted. We've been in one of those droughts recently. There really has been no news.

So, I was searching for the latest tidbits on the BFRO website (as I am sure you have been) and came across this little ditty. Check out the letter "A" on the map above. Get this - there will be a BFRO expedition in NORTHERN MINNESOTA this month - September 17-20th! For a mere $300 "investigator fee," anyone can have a chance to camp with the professionals and search for Bigfoot in areas of Minnesota that he has been spotted. Now, at first I thought they meant Coon Rapids, but they are talking about far northern Minnesota in the woods. Now, each person is responsible for their own food, drinks, beverages, camping gear, transpiration and clothing - it's a bargain! There are some rules - you have to be 21 and be able to walk and (just in case) run. Guns are not allowed. You may carry a knife, a machete, a spear, pepper spray, etc. Why no guns? Here is a quote from the web site:

"There are no modern reports of sasquatches attacking humans. They will sometimes approach and intimidate human intruders at night, but not attack them. You are not putting yourself at risk by not carrying a gun, but you are potentially putting everyone else at risk if you are carrying a gun."

Right on. You wouldn't want somebody spraying the entire camp site with an AK-47 just because some baby Sasquatch was trying to steal the hot dogs.

Anyway, I bet you are thinking that this is the Sasquatch news that I was going to drop on all of you. Well, it was - until today. As CR alerted me today - there has been a sighting. Just when you thought we'd go into the fall without any new photos, the Sasquatch has shown himself in Kentucky. You see, a mysterious beast was trampling a residents garden, so he set up a surveillance camera to see who or what the culprit was. Probably a bear, right? NO! Check it out:

That, my friends, is The Sasquatch. I saw this report on CNN.com and they tried to pass this off as a Bear (of course) and even a "bag blowing in the wind." Hey - does a bag have hair and arms? No! This is the Sasquatch. It looks like he's trying to find a morsel of food in a bucket or something. If you watch the CNN report, however, the Kentucky resident who filmed the beast in his own backyard seems rather non-chalant about the whole thing. He refuses to believe this image is The Sasquatch. Lets see gets the last laugh when this happens to him.

Right on.

Jeff

Sunday, September 6, 2009

The Minnesota State Fair - A Metaphor For Life

My family and I made our annual journey to the Minnesota State Fair last Thursday. This is something we've done, well, annually. Even as a lad growing up in Eau Claire, we'd make the trek over to St. Paul each August to visit my sister and to attend the fair. It's just something you do. In Minnesota, the fair represents the "unofficial official" end of summer. It closes on Labor Day, and the youth generally start school the next day, much to their chagrin. Because of this, there is usually a feeling of apprehension mixed in with the fun that fair-goers experience. Can the snow be far behind?

Each year, I look forward to going to the fair. The food is excellent, and there is a lot to experience. (I do find it odd, however, that you can get your blood pressure and cholesterol checked right across from the cheese curd vendor). And, you will find no better place on Earth to people-watch than the Minnesota State Fair. On any given day you will see representatives from all "types" people. You will see city-slickers and many "rather rural-looking" folks. You will see big and small people at the fair. In fact, you will see big, bigger and biggest people at the fair. Lots of family's with young kids and massive strollers. LOTS of old people. Some are unbelievably and shockingly old, and more power to them for dragging themselves out to the fair to be amongst the crowds. After all, they could have just stayed at home in Roseville or stuck around the House of Wong (locals will understand that reference).

You also see a lot of people that my wife's family grew up referring to as "hesh." "Hesh" is a term to describe a specific type of burnout, or a "hesher." The hesher guys all smoke and have either shaved heads or mullets and wife-beater t-shirts. Lots of tattoos with skulls and fire. They usually have the "saggin" pants with enormous, untied "DC" shoes and a necklace. The hesh women are either slightly rotund or frighteningly skinny and smoke and have lots of tattoos. A must is a high, tight pony tail. This is essential. They wear black skinny jeans that are a size (or two) too small and "DC" shoes. You will see these most-likely see these folks in the Midway.

Speaking of the Midway, a deep thought came to me while watching my son try and win a stuffed monkey in the Midway by knocking down blocks with a massive squirt gun. It struck me that this fair is a metaphor for life in general. As previously stated, every type of person is represented at the fair - rich, poor, smart, dumb, young, old, healthy, really-not healthy. The fair is basically a microcosm of our society in general.

Now, at one end of the fair, you have the Creative Activities Building. This is the clean-livin' section of the fair (near the farm machinery exhibits). Square-dancing takes place in this area. The aforementioned Creative Activities Building features crafts, art, quilts and wholesome goodness. This building is run by mainly well-meaning Scandinavians who have lived a long life through good-livin' and probably have never uttered a swear word or thought an unpleasant thought. Many have sweatshirts with teddy bears that say "World's Greatest Grandma" and stuff like that. I must say that I felt like kind of a heathen while walking through this building the other day. I felt unworthy and kind of like a bad person. I like beer, after all. I have cursed in my life. Geez, I feel bad again.

Then, at the opposite end, you have the Midway. Music blaring, strobe lights, hellish rides with spray-painted pictures of Madonna, Slash and Eminem plastered on the sides. Lots of "hesh" stuff going on. Cigarette smoke wafts through the air. Carneys with neck tattoos screaming at you to "play their game 'cuz you can't lose" and win an over sized stuffed banana. Unreal. In this area of the fair, I felt like a combination of Shakespeare, Lance Armstrong and Brad Pitt.

Just as the ends of the fair represent the similar "ends of society," the middle portion of the fair represents the middle ground of society. Many different kinds of food to choose from. Some rides, but not the ones that make you puke. Lots of people walking around that aren't necessarily saints or criminals. In the middle of all this, by the way, is my neighbor Tito Jackson's stand called "Custard's Last Stand." (He sells this mocha frozen custard that is the tastiest morsel that I have had in all of my years at the fair.) It is fitting that his stand is in this "middle ground" since he's kind of a "middle guy" too. I felt most at ease in the middle portion of the fair, just as I do in the so-called middle portion of society. I like hanging out and having a few beers with the guys, but I don't have to rob a liquor store to get it. You know what I am saying? Pretty deep thoughts, huh?

So, another State Fair and another summer comes to an end. Can the snow be far behind?