Quick Sports News & Notes

1. Now let me get this straight. Adrienne Peterson's stats vs. Chicago:

20 carries for 224 yards, an 11.2 average and an All-Time Viking record. 3 touchdowns carries of 67, 73 & 35 yards. 1 kickoff return for 53 yards that helped seal the game.

I spend most of my time ripping the Vikings on this blog but, folks, this guy is the real-deal. The Vikings messed up and took the right guy. They have their most explosive player since Randy Moss and there is finally a reason to watch their games.

2. Hennepin County and Land Partners II agree on price of Twins stadium land at $28.9 million. Pohlad agrees to pay the extra $15 million to LPII in exchange for development rights around the stadium. The deal is done, and this God-forsaken chapter in Minnesota sports history is over. Now, it's time to concentrate on building the Twins stadium rather than arguing over land value.

3. Wild start 5 and 0. Must not drink the Kool-Aid.........

4. Are there still any doubters that supernatural forces are controlling the Packers season? They would have to collapse NOT to win the NFC Norris Division, and have at least one home playoff game! I stand my week 3 prediction that the Packers win the Super Bowl over the Patriots after Tom Brady gets hurt late in the AFC Championship game. People, it's spooky....

Peace,

Jeff

Golf Is Evil

"Golf is good walk spoiled." -Mark Twain

I have just returned from an golf excursion to the in-laws cabin in Northeastern Wisconsin. I made the trip with Jase and met my father-in-law, uncle-in-law and one of their buddies to play golf at Timberstone in Iron Mountain, Michigan (da Yoopers are up der ya know!).

Timberstone is absolutely beautiful, and the day was perfect. Maybe a little cold at the start (45 degrees), but as the day wore on there was bright sunshine and perfectly blue skies. The fall colors were gorgeous, and peaking in many areas. Wildlife was abundant, and a deer even scared the hell out of Jase as he was hitting from the fairway. I had a great time with friends and relatives alike. Everything was perfect except for one thing:

Golf is evil.

"The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing." -Phyllis Diller

I am not sure who the sado-masochist was who invented the game of golf, but it is a hellish pastime. Logic follows that the more a person performs an activity, the more proficient they should become at that activity. Not golf. Oh, sure, there may be a good putt here and or a good chip there to make a person feel like they are improving. That is part of the folly of golf. Just when you think "you got game," you shank a drive three fairways over. And speaking of chipping, I could not chip a golf ball on to the green from close range consistently if my life depended on it. I can, however, chip a ball over the green and down the nearest hill with amazing consistency.

"You've got just one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you've hit it." -Sam Snead

Another problem with golf is that it is too quiet. How can a sport be played when it is quiet? I need noise and yelling and cursing! No time to think - act quickly! The more time I have to think, the more time I have to screw up. I need split-second decisions. I suppose truly good golfers can block out all sounds around them and "clear their mind." Not me. Here is a sample of what might be going through my mind at any given time before I swing a golf club:

"Legs bent - head down - arms straight - loud car - don't look up - Vikings will lose - they're watching me - feet straight - airplane overhead - Twins stadium - I work on Monday - I forgot to schedule the meeting - a bug flew by - I hope they are not laughing..." Then I swing and "top the ball" and it skids about three feet past the women's tee. It's maddening.

"Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle." -Jackie Gleason

And another thing. There's ball magnets in sand traps. Don't tell me there isn't. And water. Don't get me started with water. Ponds, streams, lakes. If there is water around, I will find it. I swear if you put a glass of water in the fairway of a golf course, my ball will defy physics to land in that glass. Remove the glass, I will shank my shot into the rough.

"We speak of eyeball-to-eyeball encounters between men great and small. Even more reaching and revealing of character is the eyeball-to-golfball confrontation, whereby our most secret natures are mercilessly tested by a small, round, whitish object with no mind or will but with a very definite life of its own, and with whims perverse and beatific." -John Stewart Martin

Oh, well. It was still a great day. I think golf is one of those games in which I should not expect to do well. My parents were great golfers, but they put quite a bit of time into the game (which may not help me, per my previous point). I guess you just have to look at it like "the more you swing, the more you get your money's worth.

"In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries. Anthropologists call this a form of self expression. In America we call it golf."- Becker

Peace,

Jeff

Wilco - Now THAT was a Concert!

I attended the Wilco concert at Northrop Auditorium on Wednesday night with Tito Jackson and CR and must say that I was completely blown away. Now, keep in mind that the last show that I attended was the "drive by concert" by Ryan Adams, so I was bound to be pleased by virtually anything. However, I'd put this concert in the "top five that I have seen in my lifetime" (which may be the subject of another post). I would put it in the "top three" if the drunk lady sitting next to me didn't drop the worst fart imaginable halfway through the show. It was absolutely sickening, but probably the only negative the entire night.

I've seen Wilco four times now, and they continue to evolve and become amazingly proficient as musicians. The band has virtually a new lineup from a couple of years ago, with Jeff Tweedy and bassist John Stirratt being the only holdovers. During the concert, the band often featured three lead guitarists simultaneously, with Tweedy playing with newcomers Nels Cline and Pat Sansone.

The band played a wide range of tunes from the new album including the incredible Impossible, Germany and funny Hate It Here. Somewhat surprisingly, they played about half of Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, and quite a few tunes from Being There, their 1996 release, including Red-Eyed and Blue and Outtasite (Outta Mind). Other highlights included bringing out Garly Louris of The Jayhawks for California Stars and ending the concert with an outstanding version of Spiders (Kidsmoke).

Where Ryan Adams was standoffish, Wilco was gregarious. Tweedy often joked with the crowd, and made fun of his "Michael Landon-like clothes." He talked about how wonderful the sound was at Northrop, how their concert the prior night sounded like it was "in a bunker." And, unlike Ryan Adams, Wilco actually HAD an encore, which was virtually as long as Adams' entire concert!

If you have never seen Wilco in concert, I'd encourage you to attend the next time they are in town. It's worth every penny. Hell, I even bought a t-shirt, something I haven't done at a concert since the '80's! Just watch out for flatulent drunk ladies! And, thanks to Freealonzo, here is the set list, 10/10/07, Northrop Auditorium, Minneapolis, MN:

Sunken Treasure

You Are My Face

Side With The Seeds

I Am Trying To Break Your Heart

Pot, Kettle, Black

War on War

Handshake Drugs

Impossible, Germany

Sky Blue Sky

Too Far Apart

Jesus, etc.

Hate It Here

Walken

I'm The Man Who Loves You

Hummingbird

Shot In The Arm

Encore:

Red Eyed and Blue

I Got You

Outtasite (Outta Mind)

Forget The Flowers

California Stars

Heavy Metal Drummer

Spiders (Kidsmoke)

Peace,

Jeff

Survivorman Senses Sasquatch

My kids are currently into a show on the Discovery channel called Survivorman. The show features an outdoorsman named Les Stroud who puts himself in perilous areas of the world to prove he can survive and get out. Les Stroud knows all of the "ins and outs" of survival. You know, which berries to eat and which berries are poisonous. Which trees to chop down and create a boat out of with nothing more than a tweezers. Les Shroud and I have "opposite brains." I fully admit that if you dropped me in the middle of The Rainforest, I would be curled up in the fetal position within 15 minutes and probably dead within an hour. You see, I'd eat the poisonous berry. I'd pitch my tent (so to speak) on quicksand. I'd allow myself to be tracked and eaten by various carnivores. And the list goes on and on. And on.

Anyway, I digress. I was on the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization web site last night and noticed a very interesting story. Here is the link to that web site, by the way (like you didn't know it already):

http://www.bfro.net/

Amongst the treasure trove of valuable Sasquatch information was a link to Les Stroud's blog (for some reason, it's not called "What Les Thinks"). By the way, check out the "Bigfoot/Sasquatch Discussion Forum" when you have a chance. It is outstanding (and quite funny). It turns out that Les is currently on an Alaskan expedition, and has put himself in some God-awful part of that State. He is doing a daily blog on his trials and tribulations (I still think he has pizzas delivered by helicopter), and had some very interesting words to describe "Day 5." Here they are:

"The strangest thing happened tonight when I was making my grass matt. All of a sudden a deep and very loud grunting noise from about fifty yards away in the bush brought me to my feet and put the hairs up on the back of my neck. It repeated four times and I have to say sounded…..wait for it….just like a large gorilla! No, I’m not kidding. Hopefully I’m not losing it! But I swear. That’s what it sounded like. Not like a bear at all. Like a big gorilla. I will assume it was a bear though – a mother warning her cubs about my presence. But still…..it will be an interesting sleep tonight!"

This, Sasquatch fans, is what is know as a "Class B sighting." I find it amusing that even an avid outdoorsman like Les Stroud continues to "assume it was a bear." People always assume it was a frickin' bear. Even an avid indoorsman like me knows this was The Sasquatch.

People - what is it going to take?? Does The Sasquatch have to walk in Les Stoud's house and sit on his lap? I realize that it may be harder for some people to sleep at night knowing that The Sasquatch is truly out there. But, as I learned from the BFRO web site FAQ's, The Sasquatch is not dangerous unless you piss him off. I also learned in the FAQ's that they climb trees. Seriously - check it out.

Anyway, it turns out that The Sasquatch did not return to Les Stoud's campsite the next day. There is no question that he was scared away by the helicopter delivering pizzas.

Peace,

Jeff

New Look!

The blog was having a mid-life crisis, and had to change things up. What the hell, I was bored.

Jeff

Update from Sunday morning: I changed it again. This is my "fall" look.

Wild Season Opener - The Shilling Continues

I attended the Wild season opener with my son (The Graminator) and once again had a great time. It is true that I tend to give this franchise a "free pass" compared to the other three in town, but they make it easy for me to do so. It starts with coaching. Here are some quotes from Wild Head Coach Jacques Lemaire after the opening game:

"We made mistakes. My God, it's like their first time in the NHL," he said. "We were not good tonight."

"I'm 62," Lemaire said. "I'll be 75 soon."

"I'm smiling because I went to get my eyes fixed yesterday. I think I'm going to go back and get the old ones because now I see too much. Ugh, that was awful tonight."

And, folks, that was after a victory. The Wild beat the hated Chicago Goonhawks 1-0, mostly because of excellent goaltending. Those quotes are refreshing to hear compared to the spin and crap that you get from our local football coaches. Tim Brewster sounded like he wanted a parade thrown for the Gophers after they recently lost at home to Ohio State 30 - 7. And with Brad (Chilly) Childress, you never really know what he really thinks other than his offense is "kick ass" even thought they never really score. Lemaire and Twins Manager Ron Gardenhire are the two individuals in the Twin Cities that will "tell it like it is." Granted, Lemaire can be a strange one. He tends to criticize after victories and praise after close losses. It's kind of his gig.

The Wild also know who to thank for their success - the fans. I am only half-kidding when I say that the Vikings should contact (and pay) the Wild to be their consultants. Every time a Vikings representative is going to say something publicly, they should contact the Wild marketing staff first to get "the OK." The Vikes would probably hear a lot of "ahhhh.....I wouldn't say that."

Lastly, the Wild did an outstanding job with their pre-game ceremony by honoring "heroes." Who were these heroes they were honoring? Athletes? No. The Wild featured 5 Minnesota veterans of the Iraq war and also individuals who survived the 35W bridge collapse and those that helped rescue victims on that day. The Wild also brought in 7 Navy Seals from Virginia who were involved in the search for victims in the Mississippi river after the collapse to lead the "Let's Play Hockey" call. Lastly, a Minnesota man who lost both legs in combat in Iraq dropped the ceremonial first puck. All of these people are heroes, not hockey players. And that point came across loud and clear on opening night.

I'm sure the day will come when I hammer the Wild. I will admit that I get a little joy when I rip the Twins, Gophers, Wolves and especially the Vikes on this blog. The day will come when the Wild organization does something stupid and rippable. That day has not come yet, however.

Peace,

Jeff

Like Clockwork

The Packers beat the Vikings 23-16. Back when I was in college in the late '80's, the Packers were coached by Forrest (will set the Pack on fire) Gregg. There were horrible year after year, and often embarrassed themselves on and off the field. Well, folks, the Vikings are now officially in "their Forrest Gregg years." I am officially embarrassed. Brad Childress is the Vikings version of Forrest Gregg. Here are some other thoughts:

1. Congratulations to Brett Farve on the NFL touchdown pass record. He's a sure Hall-of-Famer, and has had quite a career. One of the best QB's to play the game.

2. Under normal circumstances, I'd say that the Packers lack of a running game would haunt them as the year goes on. But, seeing as how they are guided by supernatural forces, this will not matter. They will win the Super Bowl. I'm serious about this. Tom Brady will injure his knee in the AFC Championship game and the Packers will beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl.

3. Kelly. Holcumb. Is. Terrible.

4. This sounds like a "Denny Green-ism," but "touchdowns usually beat field goals." Amen to that philosophy.

5. On a positive note, I love the Vikings throwback uniforms. I guess they will go back to the Arena Football League uniforms next week.

6. On another positive note, Adrienne Peterson is the real deal. He is literally the entire offense.

7. Side-note to tony8489: See why I'm looking forward to hockey so much?

8. My Sunday afternoons just became free and wide-open for the rest of the fall and winter.

Peace,

Jeff