Quick HIts - Stuff I've Been Meaning To Say

Here's is some loose ends that I have been to tell both of you:

1. Have you had the new Frosty Float at Wendy's? I cannot think of enough wonderful adjectives to describe the Frosty Float. It's beautiful. Vanilla Frosty-style ice cream with Barqs root beer. I have actually gained weight because of this concoction. It's a quality product. Go get yourself one. Now.

2. My good buddy Jase sent me a link to a web site that I have never heard of before - The Brushback. It's like The Onion for sports. Very good stuff. Check out the Michigan article in this edition. Here's the link:

http://www.thebrushback.com/

3. Speaking of sports, did you see the attendance at the Florida Marlins - Washington Nationals game in Miami? The announced attendance at the start of the game was 10,000. The game then went into extra innings at around 400 people stayed until the end - at a day game. Check out this photo:

3. And speaking of sports, I believe that Tim Brewster, the new Gophers football coach, will either return this team to greatness, or become the biggest coaching buffoon in Minnesota sports history - surpassing Denny Green and Jim Wacker. He's not off to a good start.

4. Lastly, "What Jeff Thinks" has been officially banned at a corporation. My friend Jim, who works at a firm in downtown Minneapolis, told me that he tried to access this blog at work (during his lunch, of course) and received the following message:

Your organization's Internet use policy restricts access to this web page at this time.

Reason:
The Websense category "Social Networking and Personal Sites" is filtered.

URL:
http://whatthompsthinks.blogspot.com/

Now, don't let the middle sentence fool you. I'm sure that most blogs are OK. "What Jeff Thinks," however, is a bit controversial in nature for most stuffed-shirt corporations. This is hard-hitting stuff. Topics such as "proof of the existence of the Sasquatch" is not going to go over well in a business setting, and could cause a panic. This, no question, is the start of a trend.

That's all for now. Peace.

Jeff

Vikes Lose - Here's What I Think

It was a beautiful September day today. Probably 70 degrees and not a cloud in the sky. Did I go for a walk? No. Bike ride? No. Golfing?? No.

I watched the Vikings lose to the Detroit Lions in overtime, 20-17. The game lasted 3 and 1/2 hours, and it is now getting dark. I will list this under "fool me once (Vikings), shame on you. Fool me 834 times, shame on me." Here are my observations:

1. I am now 3 and 1/2 hours closer to death.

2. I should have shut the game off when Troy Williamson muffed the opening kick, had it bounce off his knee, and nearly got recovered by the Lions. His eyesight has improved this year, you know. He does eye exercises.

3. Jon frickin' Kitna obviously picked this game to play as if his very existence depended on the outcome. He was part Joe Namath, part Roger Staubach and part Joe Kapp. I'm sure sometime this week he will come out of his trance and go back to being 15 of 40 for 189 yards and 3 int's next week.

4. The Vikes had a chance to win the game with a Ryan Longwell 52-yard field goal as time expired. The kick looked good until the last second when it mysteriously hooked left and hit the goal post. If Longwell was still with the Packers, that kick would have been good - into the wind in a blizzard.

5. Although T. Jack may not be the answer at QB, I don't really think Brooks Bollinger should be in the NFL. Looks like he might be your starter next week. Bollinger is the second coming of Steve Dils.

6. Football, more than any other sport, puts me in a bad mood and is not good for my health. I maintain my official position that my life would IMPROVE if the Vikings moved out of State. Your not going to be hearing any Vikings stadium rants on this blog.

Anyway, peace.

Jeff

"I Just Wanted To Get My Stuff Back"

When I was a kid, one of my prized possessions was a 1974 O.J. Simpson football card. You see, O.J. became the first running back to ever rush for 2000 yards in a single season in 1973, which was listed on the back of the 1974 card. Pretty cool, considering teams only played 14 games back then. Little did I know that 20 years later in 1994, the same O.J Simpson would be accused of killing his wife, go on a live-on-TV car chase (on the eve of my wedding day, no less), and become one of the more bizarre personalities in our culture. Simpson beat the murder rap (nudge-nudge, wink-wink), and has remained a free, yet increasingly nuts, man over the years. In fact, O.J. continues to search endlessly for the "real killer" of his wife. There is no doubt that if the "real killer" is lurking on one of the countries finest golf courses, O.J. will catch him.

Even though he is endlessly searching for killers, it has come to my attention that O.J has found the time to conduct a "sting operation" in Las Vegas. You see, Simpson was informed that some individuals had some of Simpson's sports memorabilia, and were preparing to sell it. Simpson decided to take matters into his own hand and "get his stuff back." Simpson, and some "friends" he met at a cocktail party decided to pose as buyers to gain entry to the hotel room of Bruce Fromong, a sports memorabilia collector (the individual who "had Simpson's stuff") Now, Fromong is accusing Simpson of armed robbery (probably a trumped-up, bunko charge, just like the murder). Here are some details of the incident from CNN.com:

Bruce Fromong, a sports memorabilia collector, was one of the alleged victims. He said "absolutely" two of the men with Simpson had guns and were pointing them at people in the room.

Fromong said Simpson was screaming at the people inside the room and pointing at items saying "That's mine, that's mine, that's mine."

He described the incident as "a home invasion-type robbery."

Wow - weird. Who would have expected this type of behavior from Simpson, ex-football player and star of "Capricorn One?" Police said that Simpson is fully cooperating with their investigation, and is claiming that he was simply claiming what was rightfully his. Here is O.J.'s account of what happened, according to CNN.com:

Simpson, 60, said he had been told some of his personal items were for sale, things he hadn't seen in years or that had been stolen. Among those, he said, were photographs of his family and himself as a child and photographs and negatives Nicole Simpson took.

Simpson said he came into the room with a group of friends, one of whom was posing as a potential buyer. The friends helped him carry items out.

But, he said, there were no guns, and it was not a robbery. "What would you have done?" he asked. "I'm O.J. Simpson. Who am I going to rob?"

Simpson said he did raise his voice at the sellers and harsh words were exchanged -- "possibly" threats, he said, but no one was hurt. He said he was in the room only a matter of minutes.

Simpson went on to say that he was trying to recover the items for sentimental reasons, not monetary. Check out this next passage from the CNN account:

The ex-football star said he wanted his things back but it wasn't because of their monetary value. He said he has "never, ever, ever" sold any of his personal items, although he has sold his Heisman Trophy, autographs and participated in memorabilia shows.

OK, wait. He has "never, ever, ever" sold any personal item - except for his Heisman Trophy?" That is like someone saying "I have never, ever, ever done drugs except for that time I smoked crack." I just don't know what to believe.

Well, I'm sure that "the truth" will come out soon, just like it did after the murder trial. Justice always prevails in these matters, you know.

And I still wish I had that 1974 O.J. football card. I'm sure it's worth a lot. I'd like to send it to O.J. before he shows up at my house "to get it back."

Peace,

Jeff

Six Years Later

I'm writing this post at 5:45 PM Central Time on Tuesday, September 11th, 2007. Exactly six years ago to the minute, I was standing out on my deck and I was struck by two things. One was the stunningly clear blue September sky. The second was the absolute silence. You see, under normal circumstances there is a good amount of air traffic flying overhead. Not today. For the first time ever, all air travel in the United States was shut down. The reason for this, as you know, is that 19 hijackers picked this day to fly two airplanes into the World Trade Centers in New York, one into the Pentagon. One more was tragically, yet heroically, flown into a Pennsylvania field before reaching its destination, which was apparently the U.S Capital or The White House. Nearly 3,000 people lost their lives on that day, and the nation experienced it's worst terrorist attacks on U.S. soil in American history.

I have told many people that when it comes to "negative experiences" in my life, only the death of my mother and father have had a more profound affect on me as what happened on September 11th, 2001. On September 10th, 2001, I (foolishly) felt that the United States was an isolated land. The Soviet Union was no longer an enemy. Any "casualties of war" would be in a far off land, right? Then September 11th happened. I don't think the events of that day would have had such a profound effect on me if I was not a father. In a 24-hour period, I realized that my children will grow up in a much different world than I did as a child. I realized that our "new enemy" does not wear a uniform or have a flag. I realized that we are now fighting an "idea" instead of an army. The individuals who subscribe to this "idea" do not mind killing civilians or dying themselves for the cause. I also realized that they will never go away. It actually made me miss the Soviet Union.

Six years later, we find ourselves in an endless war (which I am not here to debate as right or wrong). We've become a paranoid nation when it comes to security. It still is surreal to me to drive to the airport and see a sign that says "Threat Level Orange." Any feelings of cohesiveness, patriotism, or solidarity that we felt after the days that followed 9-11 are gone. We're back to arguing, fighting, blaming, etc. Everything is political again. Britney Spears and Paris Hilton command headlines in the paper over world events. We're back to September 10th, 2001 in many ways.

That, to me, is what is scary.

Peace,

Jeff

Back From Camping (that's right)

I have just returned from camping at the Forestville State park in southern Minnesota in time to watch the Vikings win their home opener against the Atlanta Falcons, 24-3. Now, I know what you are thinking. First, I tell you that the Vikings won their home opener, and then I drop the bomb that I have been camping. Don't worry - you have not crossed over into a parallel universe. I know that I am not exactly Mr. Outdoors (Mr. Outdoor Baseball, maybe). But my family got a chance to meet my sister-in-law, my handsome and witty brother-in-law and their kids at the State Park, and we thought "why not?" After all, they had a camper with running water, a grill, beds, etc. The Forestville State Park also had a very clean bathroom with showers and some well-marked trails. It was really roughing it, I tell you. It reminds me of the woman I work with at THE CHECK that recently spent a week in the Boundary Waters - ALONE. Do you know how long I would make it in the Boundary Waters alone? Six minutes.

But, I digress. I know what else you are wondering - did I see the Sasquatch? Well, no. I could have sworn I heard some Sasquatch-like shrieks at night, but it turns out it was just some kids at an adjacent campsite. Then, I thought I saw a Sasquatch footprint, but it was just a sinkhole. We were very close to Fountain, you see, which is the Sinkhole Capital of Minnesota (it's true - look it up). Anyway, I am not deterred in my belief that the Sasquatch has been in that area. They are elusive creatures, as we all know from that episode of In Search Of. Anyway, we all had a great time, and I'd certainly camp again. Hell, I'll be an REI regular in no time.

Then, I was able to watch the Vikes enough when I returned to form the following opinions:

1. Adrienne Peterson will be the "real deal" if he stays healthy. He rushed 19 times for 103 yards and caught 1 pass for 60 yards and a TD in his professional debut. As I have said before, however, he is probably slipping in the shower and breaking a kneecap as I write this.



2. The defense looks solid. I am hoping this has to do more with defensive improvement and less with the fact that Joey Harrington was the opposing QB, which leads to #3.

3. Joey Harrington still sucks. Which leads to #4.

4. I like Tavarius Jackson, because he is not Joey Harrington, but I don't think he is the long-term answer at QB. He doesn't make a ton of mistakes, which is great if the Vikes are playing conservatively while holding a lead. If they fall behind by more than one score, however, I think they are doomed. I don't see T. Jack leading them downfield for a bunch of quick scores - ever.

5. It took the Vikes exactly one defensive play to receive their first "roughing the passer" penalty of 2007. Good to get that out of the way early.

6.. Granted, I didn't see the whole game, but I also did not see Troy Williamson get hit in the head with a pass. Could this be a sign of good things to come?

I watched enough of the game to ascertain these six things. On a side note, Packer fans who may be reading this can thank me for the muffed punt with 59 seconds left by Eagle J.R Reed - I called it. Nice job, J.R.! My football coach back in 4th grade would have kicked my ass if I would have made the same decision to sprint in from 15 yards out and try and catch the punt by diving at it. Priceless.

Overall, it was a great weekend other than the Sasquatch thing. Now, me and Tito Jackson will be attending The Flaming Lips show tonight at The Myth. So many social engagements, so little time.

Peace,

Jeff

Back to School at the Movies

It was back to school for the kids all over the Twin Cities today, including my three kooks. As I was driving to THE CHECK this morning, I actually felt a little sad as I drove past the kids waiting for their buses or driving to school. I found myself missing the anticipation of the new school year. You see, back in THE DAY, I really looked forward to the first day of school. The second day is when it started to suck, but the first day was always good. Who would be in your classes? Who would you eat lunch with? Where would you sit in your classes? How would you like your teachers? To be perfectly honest, I really enjoyed school for the most part. Junior High was not the greatest time for me for various reasons You see, all kids are evil, tripped out on hormonal changes and crazy for those 3 years and my dad passed away when I was 8th grade. That can mess with a kid when he is 14. The 3 years of High School, however and the 4.5 years of college is when I thought I was The King of the World. I have only fond memories of those years.

Which brings me to the point of this post. There have been some great movies throughout time that portray life in school, particularily life in High School. I'm sure all of you are wondering "what High School movies does Jeff like the best?" Well, here are my top 5:

1. Fast Times at Ridgemont High. I have a friend that attended High School in Los Angeles in the early '80's and he said that this film was not a comedy - it was a documentary. There are too many quotable lines in this movie to even try and list. I also believe in my heart that Jeff Spicoli was Sean Penn's best role in his career. Special nod's also go out to Richard Romanus as Mike Damone and Ray Walston as Mr. Hand. Simply outstanding.

2. Sixteen Candles. Long Duk Dong. Enough said.

3. The Breakfast Club. You can tell that I have a soft spot in my heart for High School films in the '80's. That because I was in High School in the 80's. This flick featured one student from each "stereotype" in detention on a Saturday - the jock, nerd, burnout, goth, and rich popular girl. They hate each other at the beginning and somehow come to an understanding by the end of the story. There are some weak moments, but I like how the various John Hughes movies of that decade combine the humor and angst of that time in life and mix in a great soundtrack. Hey - "Don't You Forget About Me" by Simple Mind's (from this movie) was our class song for the Eau Claire Memorial class of 1985.

4. Dazed and Confused. This is the first of my picks that portrayed High School life in the 1970's. It portrays the drugged out class of 1976 and their younger siblings and classmates. Yet another great soundtrack.

5. Superbad. This is the first High School movie on my list that was released after I became a parent. A person's outlook on life can change once they become a parent (you may have heard that along the line). Let's not mince words here - if you are a parent, this movie will scare the hell out of you. Frank talk about sex, pornography, drinking, etc. Plenty of the "F'n-heimer." I went to see it with my wife. The more she thinks about it, the more she hates it. The more that I think about it, the more I like it. It is very, very funny. Some of the funniest scenes that I have witnessed in years. Let's just say I was crying in a good way. The casting of Jonah Hill as Seth, Michael Cara as Evan and Christopher Mintz-Plasse as Fogell (McLovin) is pure genius.

And there is a point to the movie. Sure, the boys are trying to score booze so they can score girls. What High School movie does not feature those themes? The story really centers, however, on the friendship between High School seniors that are going to part ways to different colleges at the end of the summer. Not to be missed - but don't bring the kids for God sakes!

There you have it - my top five High School movies of all time. What are some of yours? Please let me know - this is "high-brow stuff!"

Jeff

Running of the Bull

My family made our annual pilgrimage to the Minnesota State Fair Thursday morning. It turns out Thursday was a good choice of days to attend the fair because 24 hours later (Friday - 9:15 AM), a 1600-pound bull named Saber got spooked and ran amok in the crowd before slamming into a fire hydrant and perishing. Fortunately, nobody (except the bull) was injured in the fracas. I have no question that if I was at the fair when the bull got out, I would have somehow been in that area and would have decided to wear my favorite RED Wisconsin Badger hat, shirt, pants and shoes on that day. I probably would have said "Hey - let's check out the farm animals FIRST this year instead of going on rides!"

You see, I love the fair, but I'm not really a farm animal guy. I'm a food and drink guy. My wife and daughter love the animals, but they have always made me a little paranoid. Plus, I have never understood that Miracle of Birth booth. Hey, I have witnessed the Miracle of Birth three times already, and I don't need to see a cow birthing a calf a foot away from my frozen custard. But I digress.

I have often remarked to my family, while gazing upon the cooped-up Clydesdale's and other beasts, "what if one of these freaks out and takes off?" I usually get a perplexed look from my wife at this point, but who has the last laugh now? Sure enough, yesterday the 1600 pound bull freaked out and took off. I have no question that if I was at the fair yesterday, the bull would have flattened me and I would have finally heard from my family "Geez, he was right." This realization, however, would have given me no satisfaction if I was part of the pavement. How did this happen? Let's check out some quotes.

"We don't know if it was the three-hour trailer ride or the environment here, but something made that bull very nervous," he said.

Jim Wulf, owner of 15-month-old Saber and Wulf Limousin Farms in Morris, said it was a "pretty helpless feeling" when the large, black animal took off.

Yes, that would be bad. Can you imagine your 1600-lb. bull taking off into a crowd? What can you say other than "Oh...........crap."

"All we heard was screaming, and then we saw the bull starting to run after people, and then there was an old couple that got away just in time ... and then it started going after a stroller, but for some reason it just stopped," witness Ashley Miller said.

Right there is where I imagine myself wearing red Wisconsin Badger's gear from head to toe and really enraging the bull. And then....

The bull's 9:15 a.m. run took it down Judson Avenue, past the Lee & Rose Warner Coliseum and into a hydrant near the all-you-can-drink milk booth. That's when Saber hit the hydrant.
"It just turned on the fire hydrant, put its head down and hit it at a real good pace," said witness Chris Fry. "And when it did that, it just dropped."

The bull apparently put its forehead into a bolt jutting out of the hydrant, Wulf said.

The key element is this whole saga could be the all-you-can-drink milk booth. For years I have been upset about Rudy Boschwitz's milk stand closing. Maybe the bull felt the same way. Man, I loved that chocolate, banana and strawberry milk. They even had root beer flavored milk. Now, this "all-you-can-eat" stand has regular, boring white milk. Sure, it's all you can drink, but how many glasses of milk can you really have? One. Personally, I think the bull simply missed the root beer milk at the Rudy Boshwitz stand. And who can blame him?

Oddly enough, it turns out that the fire hydrant that the bull slammed into was indeed red. I always thought that "bulls hating red" was a myth or old wives tale. Maybe they should put this to the test on that "Myth Busters" TV show.

And then again, maybe they don't have to.

Jeff