Short Takes

You may be wondering why I have been writing so many quick posts that don't require much thought lately. Here is why: my 7th grade and 3rd grade son's homework. They have a ton. Now, my wife has been helping the 7th grader (she is smarter than me) and I have been assisting the 3rd grader (more my level). I can see why a 7th-grader has so much homework, but a third-grader?! It's every frickin' night. I didn't have homework until 6th grade. Not anymore. We've got to compete with China and India, you know. Anyway, here is some quick stuff on my mind before we hit the books:

1. The Curse of the Billy Goat. Again. For the second straight year, the Cubs win their division and are then swept in the first round of the playoffs. It's because they are cursed. See, there are certain truths in the sports world, such as the Vikings will never win the Super Bowl and the Cubs will never win the World Series because of The Curse. It took me until the age 39 to realize this, but now that I have accepted this as simple fact I am much better off. The Cubs suffer from The Curse of the Billy Goat. Just as I believe in The Sasquatch (and who doesn't), I believe in The Curse. Hey - can you prove that I'm wrong?

2. Speaking of Cursed. I am going to agree with tony8489's assessment that the Vikings will continue to suck and Brad Childress will be fired soon. (By the way, as I write this, the Vikings are losing 10-7 to New Orleans). I am going to predict that they lose to the Saints, barely manage to beat the lowly Lions next week (sorry Dools) and then get destroyed at Chicago. (Editors note - Vikes win 30-27. All of this is already wrong). This would put them at 2-5 going into the bye week. I predict Chilly gets fired after the Chicago game and replaced on a temporary basis by Defensive Coordinator Leslie Davis. Zygi Wilf will do this to stop himself from killing Brad Childress and going to prison for life.

3. Target Center concert: Oasis and Ryan Adams. It has been announced that Ryan Adams and Oasis will tour together and play a double bill at Target Center on December 10th. A "name" for the tour has not been announced, but I am going to go with "The Ass Hole Tour." Seriously, this is the only concert in which security will be guarding the crowd from the bands.

4. Marian Gaborik playing hardball with contract. From today's Star Tribune:

Wild General Manager Doug Risebrough told the Star Tribune on Friday that he does not expect to sign Gaborik, who is one season from unrestricted free agency, to a contract extension by the start of the season.

"Not making any headway," said Risebrough, who last month said it would be prudent to sign Gaborik, the team's all-time leading scorer, to an extension by next Saturday's season opener. "I was trying to do something before the season. It's not happening. ... It's not going to happen by the start of the season."

Gaborik has been quoted as saying he would like to stay in Minnesota, but his nose might have grown a bit when uttering those words. It has been speculated that he would much rather play in the offensively wide-open Eastern Conference.

Apparently, Gaborik has been asking for a contract in the $9-million-a-year range, which is typically reserved for the Sydney Crosby/Alex Ovechkin superstar-type player. Personally, I'm not sure if Gaborik belongs in this class.

The Wild is (are?)in a bad spot here. There is no question that Gaborik is a star, and shows flashes of brilliance. He also has questionable leadership skills, is often injured and tends to disappear for long periods of time. Like the playoffs. The team has to make a decision to retain Gaborik for (probably) way more than he is actually worth, or risk losing him for absolutely nothing at the end of the year. They can trade him to another team, but unless he signs a contract with that new team, the Wild will not receive his value in return. They also risk losing fans if he is traded for less recognizable players. This, of course, rings a bell. Kevin Garnett, Torii Hunter, Johan Santana, Randy Moss and on and on and on and on. But this does not matter because.......

5. The Wild have a new mascot - "Nordy!" Yep, here "it" is:

What the hell is Nordy? Well, it's the same creature that is on the Wild jersey. What the hell is that? Nobody knows. While I am a fan of the Twins mascot, "TC Bear," and the Timberwolves mascot "Crunch" (the best part of most Wolves games), I am not sold on a hockey mascot. This strikes me as something that Nashville or Atlanta would create to attract fans that have not otherwise heard of hockey. But in Minnesota? Not needed.

Unless, of course, Marian Gaborik is not resigned.

That's all for now.

Jeff

Blast From the Past 2 - The Young Ones

I have made many references to The Young Ones on this blog. The Young Ones was a ground-breaking British comedy series with only 12 episodes that was filmed in the early 1980's. The episodes were then broadcast in the United States on MTV in the mid 1980's, back when MTV wasn't all beach-reality shows. The show revolved around four main characters that lived together in a college flat and absolutely hated each other. The were:

Rick - the people's poet and political activist. (My personal favorite)

Neil - the vegetarian hippie.

Vyvyan - the punk rocker.

Mike - the "suave ladies man" who really wasn't.

The Young Ones became a staple for me and my buddies at The University of Leinenkugels. For the show's Sunday night broadcasts we consistently had 20-30 people show up for viewing at 136 Chippewa, the house that should have been condemned.

Not only did the show become part of our weekly routine, it's dialouge became part of ours. "Piss off posty!" "Up yours matey!" "Fascist!" It was fantastic. Some of the lines are still quoted to this day in conversation and on this blog.

The show, part Monty Pyton, part Laurel and Hardy, really pushed the envelope for the 1980's. While each shows even had a "plot," there were always scenes added that made no sense. Minor characters came and went. There were bands on every show, including Motorhead, Madness, and The Damned.

The show was basically complete chaos and was a fantasitc way to end a weekend. Take a look at the clip that I added in which Rick asks the lads "why everyone hates him," and then tries to kill himself with laxitives.

Good stuff. Go buy the DVD's if you can find them!

Jeff

And Evil Wins, 1-0.

One to nothing. The Chicago White Sox beat the Twins one to nothing to win the American League Central Division and advance to the playoffs. This is a good lesson for your kids: sometimes evil defeats good. Sometimes the bad guy wins.

Imagine if Darth Vader would have defeated Luke Skywalker. Kind of the same idea. The White Sox are an overpaid, large-market squad comprised of ass-holes and jerks that can't stand each other. But, I don't want to sound bitter.

I hope Tampa destroys them.

On the positive side, the future looks bright for the Twins. They are a young team with a new stadium on the way. And I've got to hand it to Nick Blackburn for his performance tonight. You can't ask any more of a rookie starting pitcher. I've got to hand it to Jose Mijares, the rookie reliever who held the Sox scoreless in the late innings. And, hey, Joe Mauer won his second batting title.

If you are a longtime fan of Minnesota sports teams, you had to sense that the Twins were going to lose this game. Literally, one minute before Jim Thome hit his game-winning home run, I mentioned to my neighbor Tito Jackson "as a Minnesota fan, I know the other shoe is going to drop." BOOM - home run!

Folks, as I have mentioned before, I only have one explanation as to how the Twins have won two World Series championships. It has to be that we, as a state, passed into a parallel universe in October of 1987 and October of 1991. That is the only plausible explanation that I have.

So, it's wait 'till next year. On to hockey season (certainly not football, for Cliff's sake).

Goodnight. Go Tampa!

Jeff

Tonight's the Night. Good vs. Evil.

It all comes down to this. Twins vs. White Sox in a one-game playoff tonight. It's in Chicago because they won a coin flip. That, of course, is The Way Things Work. Would you really expect a team from Minnesota to win a coin flip? (By the way, why does the NFL have six-million tie breakers to determine playoff positions, but baseball goes immediately to the "all-mighty coin flip?"). After all, the Twins won the series season against the Sox. Doesn't that mean anything?

It's basically good vs. evil tonight. White hats vs. black hats. A low-payroll team vs. a big-budget team (which I'm actually getting a little sick of saying). Guys that legitimately like each other vs. guys that can't stand each other. If you want to read a good article about that, here it is. You-betcha Minnesota vs. Big-Bad Chicago.

None of that stuff really matters, however. The Twins had plenty of chances to win the division on their own, especially against Kansas City, but they squandered them. This is the way it should be, I guess. A team should have to prove they can beat their hated rivals on the road before they make the playoffs. The White Sox, by the way, have not proved that.

So, we'll see what happens. It should be interesting. Good vs. evil.

Jeff

Sunday Ramblings...

As another weekend draws to a close, here is what is on my mind:

1. The Twins win their last their game to finish 88-74. Now, we must wait to see if Detroit can knock off the hated White Sox on Monday. Dools - if we ever needed your Tigers to come through, it's on Monday. Freddy Garcia can get some revenge on his old team if all goes OK.

2. While I'll thank the Cleveland Indians for playing hard and beating the Sux on Friday and Saturday, I have to rip them for basically lying down and playing dead on Sunday. Rather than starting potential Cy Young winner Cliff Lee, who complained of a "sore neck," they went with some guy named Bryan Bullington who was claimed off of waivers from the Pirates. Of course the Sux won. One note - a player released from the lowly Pirates just cannot be that good. Thanks Cleveland!

3. Congratulations go out to Jase's Brewers who earned the NL Wild Card and made the playoffs for the first time since 1982. I had a feeling they would make it this year. After all, if there is a team in baseball that is guaranteed to choke, it's the New York Mets. (Kind of ironic that Johan Santana left the Twins because he felt "they weren't spending the money to compete!"). I would not want to play the Brewers in the playoffs. They have the ability to get hot a score a lot of runs. If their pitching can hold up, they could do some damage.

4. Did the Vikings play today?

5. Brettfavre threw six - yes, six - touchdown passes today against the Cardinals. Geez, that's pretty good.

That's all I have for now.

Jeff

Post II of the Day. Warning: Sour Grapes Ahead...

Four double plays. And suddenly, Morneau can't hit the broad side of a barn with a cannon.

The Kansas City Royals used to be an excellent baseball franchise until the mid-1980's. Since then, they have been terrible - except each September. Since the mid-1980's, the sole purpose of the Kansas City Royals is to ruin some team's season in late September/early October.

Two years ago, the Royals did the Twins a favor by sweeping the Tigers at Detroit, basically handing the Central Division championship to Minnesota. Torii Hunter even sent the Royals a case of champagne to thank them (which they eventually returned).

Well, it's happening again. The Royals are playing as if their very existence depends on the outcome of this series. I guess that I have to give them credit for that. They certainly do not "lay down and die."

It's interesting to hear the announcers talk about how "this bodes well for the Royals in 2009." Supposedly, it gives their revolving door of young talent some experience that they can use next year.

No it doesn't. The Royals will suck again in 2009 and finish in last place. They will, however, ruin some team's season again in September. No question about that. Oh, and by the way, who do the Twins play next year to end their season in the last three games ever at the Metrodome?

The Kansas City Royals.

This Is Real

I'm taking a short break from Twins coverage to move back to politics. As you may know, I have great respect for Senator John McCain. His Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin, however, scares the living hell out of me. If this ticket wins the election, Ms. Palin would be ONE HEARTBEAT from becoming the.......

PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

John McCain is 73 years old, and has had three bouts with cancer. I thought I would just post this little ditty from Sarah Palin's recent interview with Katie Couric in which she elaborates on her foriegn policy experience.

I must go now, because I have to stock up on canned goods, water and batteries.

Jeff